Please DO NOT HAVE A WEDDiNG Reception and invite more than you can afford...

Well said Cecilia.

Yes, Cecilia.

I get concerned when ladies on here defend poorly hosted weddings. Poorly hosted and low budget are not the same thing! There is absolutely no reason to defend a low budget wedding, because there's nothing wrong with them! I have seen so many posts from obviously bright and thoughtful brides on how they will be hosting their wedding on 5k or 10k. $5k -10k is a lot of money for a lot of people but somehow when you put it in wedding "reality" its a really tight budget. But I've seen so many ladies hunt high and low to find the right caterer, time of day, venue etc to insure that their weddings are unique to them and they never forget to be gracious hosts on their wedding day.

The OP attended a poorly hosted wedding that doesn't actually sound like it was particularly low budget if it was at a prime NC venue. That bride and grooms did not consider how specific decisions would affect their wedding =(. I think this post was an excellent commentary on considering the impact of choices

Yes I do see all those points and want my guess to have a wonderful time. I just think it is wrong to go around bashing your friends wedding. I'm assuming, or at least hoping, that she thought that the wedding would work out and that everyone would have a good time. Like you said there were more people who showed up than expected and other problems like that may have been at work too. Hard to say right? I think we all want everyone to have a great time at our weddings. But I am not going into debt because some person wants to come to my wedding and have a huge gourmet meal, get wasted and party. Yea I am expecting guests to give me a gift, but I have also attended their weddings, babyshowers, birthdays, retirement parties excetera and gotten them gifts for these things. It is all a big cycle. Ugh ok that was a rant of my own and I may have gotten off topic. The title of this one just ticks me off.....

Jennifer, I thought there were more people than expected... There was not. Two tables of 11 were empty... no shows. There should have been more thought into it. I am a low budget bride, and I am proud of it. I had hard choices to make when I decided to go with the venue we choose. It is a dream venue, but to afford the wedding we wanted to host, we had to cut the guest list. Not saying everyone should, but just take my advice as a guest and do what you please...

For the record the groom is my FMIL best friends son. So we were fillers to say the least lol

Wow I couldn't imagine having my wedding guest leaving because they were hungry or not happy. Society has many brides believing they have to spend tons of thousands on a wedding. IMO you can have an amazing wedding on a decent budget. Tina M. I believe that as a host you should prepare your guest for what is in store. If you are only serving 1 appetizer per person and water then let guest know ahead of time so they won't arrive on an empty stomach. Especially after making them wait an extra hour.

I am far from rich but I intend to throw a celebration that both my FH, I and our guest will all enjoy.

Ok well I think it was just the title of the post that got my bcak up lol. That is a very good point Sami B. I just hate when people think that because my wedding needs to only cost me 10-12 K that it is somehow not as good as another wedding, or that I don't deserve to have a wedding. I guess I was just imagining if someone was to say horrible things after attending my wedding, but I suppose from the sounds of it she didn't really care about the guests experiences. I do care about them, however it is m day. I will do what I want done, but I mean this more in a I will choose pink and roses, not whatever colour you like way. not in a I expect you to starve kind of way lol.

I agree with Sami, if anything, we can clearly see what happens when you decide to place your best interests ahead of guests. I don't take this to be Phyllisann "bashing" a friend. She didn't go on Facebook to say, "just attended the crappiest wedding of my life." She came onto a wedding planning website to share the consequences of poor prioritizing. My brother had a wedding that was extremely haphazard. I was 19 at the time knew it was a fiasco. I've come on here and shared his story several times just because as a guest, it was no fun. I agree, Jennifer that you don't need to go into debt, but at least be gracious. Guests didn't HAVE to come. But, when you take 6 hours of someone's day, they're going to expect to be fed a real meal at some point. And if you don't have the money to cover the basics, it's best to wait until you can

Mrs. P, I get that you should prepare the guests with info before hand, i.e. full meal, light hors d'oeuvres, etc. It was more the if you don't have money, then don't get married that upset me. It is just a difference of opinion. I'm definetly not saying let me starve my guests so I can invite all 200 off my family and friends., and buy this pnini tornai dress. But I am going with a less expensive meal so that I can keep the people that I want on my guest list. I would rather have 150 guests there eating chicken, than 75 eating filet mignon.

We are spending more than $20,000 on our wedding because our parents want 400 people there. If it were up to FH and me we'd invite 50-100 people and we would throw a budget-friendly, AWESOME reception. (Our first place of choice was our high school.) It's not the budget - high or low - that's the problem here. It's what you do with the budget. If you are inviting a lot of people during mealtimes they will assume they get food that actually fills them up. It doesn't need to be extravagant, it just needs to be filling.

The highest priority is our list is the food and comfort level of our guests. We know they won't remember our decorations or DJ, and care much that it was a dry wedding. They will however, remember that we didn't feed them edible food or made them stand uncomfortably for a long time.

It's not the amount of money but how the host/hostess choose to spend that money when throwing a party.

I always say... I am only inviting the people We can Afford to feed... Meaning I am not going to invite 200 some odd people if I can only feed 50... I would rather give 50 people a great party for coming to share our day with us.. Than to cut back on food and drinks to feed 200 people.. If I know We only have 5k. I am not going to get a 2k dress... They have very nice 99dollar sales all the time... Im like why do something and try to have this big shindig if I cant afford it... If I am going to do it Im going to do it right ... For whatever budget We Have...

Some people just do things for gifts and thats not cool...

DesigningBride12..."like"

I don't think you were bashing your friend, I think you were disappointed they didn't take their guests into consideration...UNDERSTANDABLE. After the loving vows guests do look forward to food; hell thats the best part!

Maci is totally right; if it's all about you then don't HAVE any guests. Problem solved. If I had been to Cecilia's wedding and watched 30 people's worth of flowers walk in 2 hours late and then be expected to wait ANOTHER hour for pix without so much as a glass of wine???

I'd be eating the bouquets, lol......

I went to a wedding this weekend as well, it was nice, not amazing but nice. They did feed us well. My complaint is that the mariachi music was so loud that we could not even hear our selves think, let alone talk to the person next to you, and this was during dinner.

I am a bit nervous about my reception and menu, we are having our reception in the banquet room of the marie callendars in front of the hotel (wedding venue) since we are on a budget I chose to serve Chicken with rice, and veggies and dinner roll. Drinks on hand will be water, coffee, tea, and soda. We will be having a cash bar, and a pie dessert buffet, along with the cake of course. I have done all my own centerpieces, and a DIY candy buffet. We will have a DJ playing. I want my guests to walk away happy, I feel we have put a lot of thought into our wedding and reception and hope that this shows.

Lol, I may be in the minority here, but I don't see the whole 'The wedding is about the guests' It's the most important day in YOUR life, not your guests. I believe in treating them like they should be, and feeding them and making sure they have a good time. But flat out, the wedding is what YOU want, not someone who won't remember it two years from now, you'll remember it for the rest of your life, you'll have the pictures on your walls, not them. Make the wedding what you want, the guests that love you, will still love you.

I guess I'm in the minority because you can have a wedding on any budget. So no, I don't think people who don't have $20k shouldn't have weddings. People should rethink WHO they want at their weddings. Our budget has been knocked down to $8k. Instead of trying to have a wedding for 150-175 people on $8k, we are hacking away at our guest list so that I can have a beautiful wedding for $8k with the people who matter the most.

I don't think it's fair that you complain that you HAD to purchase alcohol somewhere else. No, you really didn't.

Shit happens, people are late. A recent wedding I went to was 2 hours late because the grooms limo got stuck behind a terrible accident. You don't know what could have happened. The bride could have had a major bathroom emergency and she shouldn't worry about upity guests walking out after 10 mins.

And I don't understand how the venue only allowed water, 2oz chicken, and a salad. Even the cheapest venues I've looked at had a main, two sides, and non alcoholic drinks bundled in the price.

Unless she had a venue that let her bring in her own food, I just don't see how that's possible.

I agree with Miss Tattoo..... Weddings really should reflect what the couple themselves want, afterall it is their day! And yes, we want our guests to enjoy themselves and have a good time, without breaking the bank! Nice, doesn't have to cost a fortune.

Miss Tattoo respectfully I disagree, guests will remember the wedding and why would you invite them if they won't remember it? The troublesome part is guests WILL remember if they felt they were invited just to fill a seat, meet a minimum or to give a gift. OP will most assuredly remember being hungry and disappointed. I remember something from every wedding I've been to, even ones where I was simply the plus 1 some good, some bad, but really I could list every wedding I've been to right at this moment.

I like to have something to eat at a wedding (call me crazy) and while the food may fade from the memory, not being hungry makes it sooo much easier to enjoy the dancing/celebration segment of the evening, no?