Please DO NOT HAVE A WEDDiNG Reception and invite more than you can afford...

Sounds like the guest list was too big for their budget.

No cash bar....

@ Pan X. I think you are spot on. I feel so bad for the couple.. I do, I am in the middle of planning a wedding and tried so so hard not to be negative about anything they did. The Ceremony was great once it started. The bridal Party was 1 hr late for the wedding... so to me that was just disrespectful. I understand the whole "bride is late for the wedding" but come on 1hr. The Venue was ok... but just so disappointing as a guest, I spent over $400 between their gift, my FH and I attire, and the bar tab after the wedding. I should of stayed home and saved the $ for our own wedding. Not trying to be a bishhhhhh, but still shocked.

Yikes! We started our at-home reception at 8:00 PM and served only heavy hors d'oeuvres, dessert, and an open bar. However, we at least made sure there was enough food for people--even for those who wanted to make a dinner of the heavy hors d'oeuvres.

2d Bride. Exactly. I wish they would have stated something in the invite. I know the majority of couples are on a tight budget and can not afford a platinum wedding. Just wish I knew before hand what we were getting into. etiquette or not a simple phrase on the invite like; "religious wedding" or "dry wedding" light food and refreshments. Shoot I would have been ok with that, but not a wedding that was suppose to start at 4:00 in the afternoon and taking place at one of the upscale venues here in NC... I am thanking God for the experience. So sad to say , but I called my venue when I got home and made sure that we would have enough food and alcohol for our guest for the entire night. Such a relief.

Wow, upscale venue & barely any food? How did they even pull off meeting the minimums that most any nice venue require?

I have no Idea???!!!!! They are a sweet couple and I truly wish them many years of wedded bliss. I just felt like we filled a seat, but were not wanted at all, but for our gift,,, ;(

Looks like their priorities were all messed up... Like you said Phillisann, just do justice of the peace, & then down the road have a reception, or cut down your guest list...

but now you saying the wedding was at upscale venue, well they could have had a different venue, & would have had that $$ for the food & drinks ... I guess they wanted to impress people with their venue, but they might have just put a bad taste in everyone mouth with that..> Sorry you had a bad experience..

Thanks Iryna... I really don't know exactly what they wanted. The dry wedding could be because her family was religious... and the venue might of wanted to save money so they didn't serve a lot to eat. There were over 100 people there for 6hrs between the ceremony , cocktail hr and reception. I saw enough food for 30 people. The cocktail hr was water, tea and three trays of something.. we have no Idea what was there because it was gone when we arrived. They should of stuck with their immediate family and that's all.

Good to hear from a bride what vendors have been saying all along. A total mess. Total disregard for guests in every way. Honestly, I can't believe the venue would even let them do this. It reflects badly on them too.

An hour late for the ceremony is ridiculous and just plain cruel and not in any way necessary. I would have left after 20 minutes and I bet shortly afterwards there would be guests following me.

This isn't a rant; it's excellent advice. (At least the ceremony wasn't at 6:30 AM on a Monday morning.......)

Wow, I can't believe it actually lasted 6 hours with that kind of environment. I've been to some pretty modest weddings and had a great time... and been to a couple of lavish weddings and just been miserable. I wish every couple would be realistic. Great advice.

Wow- this kind of sounds like the wedding nightmare I had last night LOL unfortunately this wedding was real. My few of my cousins (who are a similar religion to the "20 Kids & Counting" Duggar Family) had better weddings than that with a small budget. They didn't have a DJ or entertainment. They just had the ceremony & sit down meals.

When reality and wedding planning meet for the first time at the wedding... ouch.

Water?? wow...I could never

I really felt sorry for the couple. I was embarrassed for them. Celia people were leaving left and right. My FH wanted to leave right after we got there, but I talked him into staying. I was shocked that the venue let it happen. How can you run out of food??!! It wasn't a packed house several tables were empty. I had nightmares all night.

@Phyllisann M, it's a good thing you wrote this. Gives many brides something to think about. Though I am having a dry wedding, I will make sure everyone has plenty to drink, eat, and munch on. I am letting everyone know it's a short ceremony (30min-1hr) and a short reception (about 4 hours) that way if my guest wish to go out and go to a club or a bar they will can prepare to do so. Even if I am a 'budget bride'..all my money is mostly going towards the guest.

I realize I am in the minority, or maybe the only one to feel this way but I think that we all watch these reality TV shows like 4 weddings, My Fair Wedding etc.. and we think that this should be a normal wedding occurence. I'm sorry I don't have an extra $20,000-30,000 laying around to spend on my wedding, those that do more power to you (bit envious as well, because it would be nice to have that available). I refuse to go in debt for years upon years for my wedding either. Money is one the biggerst issues in the demise of a marriage, not going to start mine off in Debt. But because I don't have thousands and thousands of dollars I don't think I should have to wait to get married. And I don't think I shouldn't be able to share the day with my family and friends. Yes, maybe a couple of things could of been done better at this wedding, but I don't think that telling people that if they can't afford to feed you a 5 course meal, drinks and entertainment, etc.. is the answer either.

I felt the same way. I did find out from the grooms parents that the head count was more than what showed. They ran out of food because that was all they could afford. The brides dress was several thousand dollars. I guess she wore the food and drink we were suppose to get. They even asked for the guest to put money in a bucket to help the couple start out, along with auctioning off a bouquet. I am in shock.

Tina-I dont think anyone is suggesting to spend thousands of dollars on a wedding you can't afford. I think the issue is being realistic about what you can afford and then planning accordingly and letting the guests know when necessary.

If all you can afford is light appetizers, then you dont put the wedding over dinnertime and put on the invites "light appetizers" so people know what to expect.

If you dont want to serve alcohol, fine...but you should at least have several options for drinks.

if you want to serve a sit down meal, then either invite the number of people you can actually afford to provide a meal for (and not more) or cut back in some other aspect so you can give a true, good meal. It doesnt have to be 5 course to just be a good solid meal that fills you up.

Tina I think it's more important to budget appropriately. We have a 10k budget. We had to cut the guest list to ensure that everyone had enough to eat and drink. I am diy it up! I would be upset also if an evening wedding served 2 oz of chicken , salad and a water. That's just wrong.

Tina, I agree with you to some extent, and I'm totally of the mind that throwing 20,000 at a wedding isn't a guarantee of a great one (or a great marriage either, which is really the point.....) One of my couples was on the first American season of 4 weddings, and her budget was much less than everyone else's. Her wedding was perfect for her family, everyone had a ball, and it was at a price she could afford.

I do think, however, that when you host a party (any kind of party, not just a wedding) you host a party. You don't have people waiting an hour for something to happen and then not offer them any kind of reasonable refreshments. It's just rude, and a sure way to guarantee that the next time you celebrate something, no one will come. It signals a blatant disregard for the people you say that you care about.

Some of my most favorite weddings have been very small affairs; in many cases, I was the most expensive 'thing' at them. (cont)