Please DO NOT HAVE A WEDDiNG Reception and invite more than you can afford...

Each couple decided what they could afford and how many people they could comfortably invite. Hiring a big fancy venue and then grossly miscalculating the rest of the arrangements is unforgivable, really. And I still can't believe the venue would let them do that.

I guess maybe I am just defensive because the dinner at my reception will be salad, chicken or steak, 2 sides and a piece of cake or dessert or whatever. Tea, water and coffee comes with the dinner. There will be a bar, going to try to have it open the entire reception but that might not fit in my budget. I don't want to have to limit the number of guests at my wedding so I can afford an open bar, I want to be able to share my day with those that are important to me. So to me it would be better to make some cuts in the event than to cut people.

Tina we are having an open bar but just for beer, wine and champagne. Soda , water, ice tea and coffee come with the dinner. We also are having a chicken , steak or pasta choice for dinner. We are also having some appetizers and of course wedding cake. You have to decide what is important to you but know that your guests should be taken care of as best as possible.

Tina, I do not have a huge budget. FH and I decided we wanted to have a great party to celebrate with our friends and family. That meant we needed to cut our guest list. I would rather tell people I am sorry for not inviting you, instead of I am sorry I spent $5000 on my dress and another $1000 on my accessories, and what was left I spent on food.

It is wrong. There are things we learn along the way in life. I am from a huge Italian Family, I have been to over 100 weddings in my life. Some were extravagant and some were small and sweet, but I never have gone to one that looked like they fed the guest with yesterdays left overs. Being over an hour late is wrong. Expecting your guests to stand for another hour in a hot stuffy place , while the Bride and Groom go and take pictures and have nothing to give your guests but water with NO ice. Sorry it doesn't calculate on any scale. Invite people who understand your budget is your budget.

Oh I get that there were things not done right at the wedding. I would never make guests wait an hour, but saying that, maybe there were a lot of behind the scene things that happened that the guests weren't aware of. Maybe the venue screwed up the dinner..etc. But then again like you said you could tell she spent a lot of money on her dress, you would think the rest would equal up to that expectation. I am making all kinds of cuts so that I can have the people I want at my wedding. My dress is under $600.00, not using fresh flowers in centerpieces, DIY invitations, decorations, etc. I understand I am "throwing" this party for our guests, but part of me hopes that the reason why they are there is because they want to share in our love and happiness, not a free meal ticket.

They are there because they are happy and want to share in your moment. Tina I would read posts like this all the time on here and get upset because the OP sounded so bishhhhy. Now I am that OP. I guess you have no Idea until you experience it. Alcohol is not important it is a luxury in today's weddings. We can only afford Beer and wine for our wedding. I understand where you are coming from. We are paying for our wedding no one is helping at all. I want guests to have fun and enjoy themselves on the happiest day of my life.

As for the food We are having a protein, two veggies, a salad, and a mix of appetizers passed and platters. The difference is our guest can go up as many times as wanted. The wedding last night the servers we telling people how much they could put on their plates so the food would get to everyone.

I wish you nothing but the best.

I don't think anyone has a right to judge, and I think you should all remember that a wedding is about the couple getting married. Not the guests. I of course want my guests to have a good time, but this is Me and FH's day. My true friends would not care at all what happened at the wedding, just that we chose to share this incredibly important day with them. If someone was such a "friend" as you I would gladly have you not come to my wedding. I can't believe you would talk down to a friend like that just because she doesn't have the money or organizational skills you happen to have. God forbid we aren't all perfect.

I think if you are a guest at a wedding and it was bad, you have a right to say something, especially here. She is just trying to warn brides with the this day is all about me attitude that you are going to have some upset friends.

While your guests are celebrating your marriage, it is still a party. Would you invite a 100 people to your house and just except them to sit around and bask in the awesomeness that is you?

Phyllisann M, I feel your pain ... I attended a wedding this year and was mortified.

For starters the ceromony was an hour & 45 mins late, then we had to wait for a bridal party of 30 consisting of (bridesmaids, groomsmen, junior bride and groom, princesses & princes, 4 flower girls & 2 ring bearers) to slowly creep down the isles. The exchange of vows lasted 10 mins and that was like a blinkof the eye and done. Didn't think it could get any worse than that, but it did. When we arrived at the reception hall, we knew such a large party would take the full hour if not more for their pics so thank God for a cocktail hour were we can munch & sip while we wait, right? WRONG!!! Til this day, I still don't understand why I even stayed and put myself thru the pain ... There was no coctail hour, no music no food & no drinks. The ppl at our table was calling others that were on their way to stop and bring Micky D's to eat?!?! Once the reception actually started, we had to wait for our

I see both sides of the coin. I know many other ladies have mixed emotions on it, but the reception is a thank you for my guests for coming. I had the ceremony I wanted to have and now let's all go eat on me to celebrate! That being said, it'd be a poor host of me to just kind of wing it and go with the bare minimum. I don't think it's MY day, it's a day for me, my FH, my family, and my friends. I hate when brides (and yes I've been to their weddings) act as though I'm doing them a favor by being there. Like Phyllisann said, she spent a significant amount of money on a gift, attire, and time off to be there! If you can't provide a 3 course meal, that's fine, but at least let guests know ahead of time what to expect.

Woops - didn't see this second page.

Tina, I think the salad, meat and 2 sides is a REALLY good meal if that's in your budget. Cheeze-its and water don't cut it IMO, especially for a 6 hour event. Our wedding is on the smaller scale and will probably have the same meal you do. We cut our guest list basically in half to make sure we treated the guests we do have, right. Our personal choice was to sacrifice quantity - how many people can come - instead of sacrificing the quality that we give to those who make the trip to see us.

And I'm of the opinion that if the wedding truly is about just me and FH, then we should just go on an expensive vacation and elope. If we were doing what we wanted and not thinking of our families - that is what we would do. If the wedding is about the bride and groom, why have guests come and expect them to "ooh" and "ahh" at you.

Table to be called so that we can line up to eat ... only to be disappointed in the spread that was also cold!

That was the worst to date I have ever been to and now I know, get out early when you can and when you start to see it go downhill!

Okay, first all you make the wedding about your guest when you invite them. If it's just about the couple you would go to the court house and get married. In today's world for some the wedding ceremony and reception are all about showing off. A wedding reception is a celebration/party of the marriage. You invited guests and should feed them. Especially if you are asking for all sorts of gifts and doing things like passing around buckets (pretty much begging for money) to start the couple of. Just like doing the dollar dance and others things of that nature. I understand in some cultures and parts of the world that is the norm and that is cool. But to invite tons of guests and give them such a crappy meal would really tick me off.

I am on a tight budget and FH and I are paying for EVERY last thing ourselves. I am DIY a lot of things that I can handle doing myself. I am also cutting out a bunch of things that aren't important to me and are plainly just a waste of money. (continued)

Yes, Cecilia, I've learned that if you get the smallest hint that the day may be a little haphazard, it will. Not "probably" will or, "oh it was just a little snafu," it will.

Maci: Agree 100%.

Jennifer yes I hope all my guests come to celebrate our wedding with us. Realistically you have to accomodate your guests as best you can. We aren't able to afford a full bar but are compromising with wine, beer and champagne. My dress was under 650 and I am doing a majority of decor myself. My point is that I want them to come and enjoy themselves. Period

I am planning a small wedding. I would LOVE if I could invite everyone I want to but to me it's more important to make sure the guest I do invite are well fed and have a good time. PLEASE PLEASE plan a wedding in your budget. Don't blow $$$$$ of money on a dress or other items if you can't even afford to feed your guests.

My oldest sister had a wedding with a budget of $3000. She held it in her back yard, made her two kids attire, her reception dress, and her own cake. Her and her husband also bought all the food and drinks to fed the guest. She rented the tables and chairs and had an officiant. She also made her center pieces and invitations. It was very nice for the budget she had.

If you have to get crafty get crafty. Call in the help of your friends and family if need be. But don't skimp on food just b/c you'd rather have a beautiful dress.

That wedding sounds like a fiasco planning wise. I honestly think some people go into planning with unrealistic expectations on price and then compromise in the wrong places. You can look gorgeous on your wedding day and that's great, but none of your guests will care or notice if they are miserable. They may be happy you're getting married, but people get married everyday. They don't need to starve for 4 hours to be happy for you. lol

However, I agree that if people are coming to my wedding more for the entertainment and food and not because they care about me, that I'd rather them stay home.

I would have loved every minute of the wedding, if I knew in advance that there was no alcohol, food and refreshments on a "first come, first served" basis. Its all in communication. The venue was a very upscale place and has won many awards for venue of the year. In my wildest dreams I would have never thought an event would be like this there.

Its advice, take it or leave it. To me, I am thanking God for the experience and have made sure that my guests will be fed and entertained to the fullest. That is whats important to me and FH.

Maci G-- agreed. That's how I'm keeping my budget small. Inexpensive venue. Family made food. A buddy (who does desserts as a side business) is making my cupcakes for the cost of materials. Friend in photography is doing pictures and my FH's employer is covering videography. I'm doing the decor DIY. The only thing not being done myself is flowers. Our STDs came from vistaprint and the invitations from 123print. Renting dj equipment from a shop in town for $60 and having my brother man the mic My budget is small but I found things to cut corners that don't effect my guests.

Just ask for help!

I doubt when someone spends a great deal of money (gifts, clothes, transportation, flight, etc.) to attend your wedding they are just attending for the food & entertainment. There should be some consideration when it comes to your guest, making them feel welcomed and appriciated while taking part and time out to be at your event to celebrate with you... But in no way should it be considered exceptable for people to wait hours without while you round up your party to walk ... or starve while you take pic and think they would still what to stick around for the night and not talk about it the next day. Obviously your attending the event because you are close in some sort of way ... thus you will feel used as Phyllisann said ... a seat holder/gift giver.How would you feel if all your guest showed up late to your ceromony not considering that fact that you pay for the time slot?

Budget or not, a great reception consist of concideration of your guest! Without them there would no party!