Planning My Own Bridal Shower

This is NOT where we wanted it. Especially since it's so inconvenient to everyone. We aren't guaranteed a time to get in the room because she said sometimes the ladies talk a while after church and we can't ask them to leave so we may have to push back the shower time the day of and play it by ear. My older sister and mom were bothering me in early 2014, demanding that I give them exact dates, times, menus, things to do, etc. One of my first posts on here was asking about shower activities and I got failed because everyone said I should NOT be planning my own shower. My MOH told me she would plan my shower. All I needed to do was give her my addresses and that's it. But I had to do what my sister wanted because they get pretty violently angry to the littlest of things. So every step of the way I have been planning this shower and if I don't plan it fast enough, I get yelled at by my sisters and mom.

So... I have no idea what I'm doing. I'm paying for all of it, though. I don't want my bridal party involved because that would be cruel and unusual punishment if I made them have to talk to my family any more than necessary. I've never been involved with planning a shower so I don't know much about what to do but it shouldn't be too hard.

Sorry, this is just a rant. Need to vent so I don't flip out. Please entertain yourself with Exhibit A- the text I just got from my twin (not the one "planning" the shower). I did not text her before this to enrage her. I just got this out of nowhere. I also haven't texted my older sister about the shower since earlier this morning when I first wrote this up on my phone (I wrote this last paragraph now). So this literally is her coming up out of nowhere. This is a typical thing that happens in my life with 2 of my sisters.

Yikes, your family sounds horrid. I would tell them all that the shower is cancelled...you don't want it. Tell them it is inappropriate for you to be planning your own shower and that's exactly what has been happening. I would not put up with this crap.

Has anything been paid for yet? I too would cancel at this point sounds like a nightmare

If this were me, I'd cancel it altogether. Just reading this is giving me a migraine.

Pancakes, i would just cancel it and say you dont want their shower..period. pell the money off the table. I dont understand why you would agree to pay for your own shower? Is it so you get gifts? Because no gifts would be worth what you have dealt with, or would deal with on the date of your potential shower.with regard to your family. You are an adult and you dont HAVE to do anything, especially what your sisters are pushing on you. Just say, thank you for offering to plan a shower for me, but I have decided not to have one. They will undoubtedly try to make you feel guilty about your decision, but dont allow them to make you feel guilty.

They had me buy shower favors. My older sister bought construction paper to hand write invitations on but that's all she bought. She was going to buy invites and asked me which ones and I said whichever is fine. I don't care. She got upset and yelled at me and later texted me her idea for construction paper invites "since I didn't like anything she picked out and I wouldn't give her an answer." The room is going to be free so it's not like a deposit was put down.

I am not having one to be gift grabby. I am having one because I said I wasn't going to and I literally got yelled at for not having one. I get pushed over a lot with my family because I know if I push back they get very violent and my house has been threatened to be burnt down by my twin before because I wouldn't lie to the cops and say I didn't see her assault her friend. But I just texted my older sister asking if we can do it up by me. If you hear a nuclear bomb going off, that is her reacting.

I would 100% cancel the shower, and then I'd proceed to tell Kim that she was a huge bitch. I'm sorry you're dealing with all of this :/

I too would cancel your shower at this point. If it is just making you miserable, it's not even worth it. If you still would like a shower, you could try approaching your other BMs, explain all the crap that's gone down, and let them know that if any of them are interested in planning something they are more than welcome to do so.

O.o -hugs- I'm so sorry Pancakes you have a crazy sister and she shouldn't be being like this to you

That went better than expected. I know later I'm in store for a disaster. She told me to call around places and order the food by this week so she knows it's done.

My MOH is really upset I didn't let her plan one from the beginning like she offered. She doesn't want me to go through this, she said. She said my only responsibility is to give her names and hold my drink the day of. My sisters are not in my bridal party. Kim is also the one that last year told me we were going to get divorced, and when someone asked how my dress shopping was going and I said I am still looking but have an idea, she interrupted and yelled that it's not all about the dress and if I think it is then I'm getting married for the wrong reasons, etc. Half of my moms side was in the room and it was just silence. My brothers girlfriend looked mortified and said "Well there is still time." And everyone went back to normal like it didn't happen.

Well, since she hand wrote construction paper invites that she didn't pay for, she's not really out anything. I would just literally let your MOH plan it, have her give you the details and text it to your family who I'm sorry, sound horrendous. Hugs to you and hope everything works out.

I don't get why you can't just have your MOH plan the shower.

And to all the girls saying having a shower just to get gifts , really ? Is that your reason for having a shower ? Maybe some people just want the whole wedding experience which includes the shower. Stop with the gift graininess lines already. Geesh

Cancel, let MOH do it.

Cancel and we'll just virtually shower you. WW TO THE RESCUE!

Seriously , say it's causing too much drama and you don't want to put the burden on anyone. You're already under a lot of stress, and you're very grateful, but it's not something you can handle. And, if they can't do it without your help and you can't have a shower, you understand.

I'm so sorry you have to deal with this @Pancakes! Would your MOH still be willing to take over planning for you? If she is let her, regardless of who it will hurt or offend. You are already planning a wedding you don't need the added stress. And you can point that out if anybody asks.

Your sister threaten to burn down your house? I have 9 siblings and only 7 are invited to my wedding. It's ok to cut people out your life that treat you like shit, even family members.

Haha. Thanks FutureMrsLav but I already got way too spoiled by the wonderful ladies on here! My MOH is already on the case. I was texting MOH during this today and we already have the place (and back up place) (both 10 minutes from our house and 1/3 of the guests so it's awesome) figured out and some of the stuff She's awesome. She said she doesn't want me to worry about anything or plan a thing. That she will take care of it because I deserve to have a shower and be happy. So I just need to stand up to my sister and say no. Ugh. I also am trying to switch jobs at the moment because the people at mine are making it unbearable. So I have a lot going on. More events at the shelter so I'm helping out there, too. Busy, busy. I hope the cheaper place is available. President Garfield lived in the town we live in now and his house was turned into a historical site. And the back building on the grounds is a place to rent out. So that would be cool to have it there because of the history (which I embarrassingly don't know much about him). I'll keep you guys updated on this ticking time bomb

Double post.