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Angel
Just Said Yes November 2017

Planning a wedding: Interracial couple looking for ideas and suggestions

Angel, on April 7, 2016 at 1:57 PM Posted in Planning 0 24

Hi, I'm newbie to Weddingwire, planning my wedding and don't know where to start. I'm a South Indian (currently live in San Francisco), my fiancé is American (currently lives in Boston). I've lived in the West for 8 years now and have embraced the Western culture while still retaining my Indian culture. We are confused if we should have the wedding in the American way, South Indian, have two weddings or fusion. Most of my live in India, all his friends live in Pittsburgh (where we want to have the wedding) and his family are in Baltimore (and have never traveled outside their home town or US). I think it will a memorable experience for my fiancé, our friends and his family to experience the South Indian cultural aspects of the wedding and I like the American weddings. My concern is the expenses, we can't afford to spend more than $15000 for our wedding and wondering how other couples planned their wedding? What are your thoughts and suggestion?

24 Comments

Latest activity by Reggie, on April 8, 2016 at 4:53 PM
  • -R-
    Super September 2016
    -R- ·
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    I'm American, my fiance is Asian. A big issue with picking traditions is what religion you both are.

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  • OG Dianna
    Master March 2017
    OG Dianna ·
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    Hi, welcome to WW! I'm Chinese and my fiancé is Italian. We're having one wedding incorporating bits of both cultures. So my vote is for a fusion.

    eta: How large is your guest list? I feel like 15k might not be feasible for two weddings, but possibly doable if you plan on having a very small guest count.

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  • Original VC
    Master July 2015
    Original VC ·
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    Definitely don't plan for something you can't afford. Would you be able to afford a small "western" wedding in Pittsburgh or Baltimore, and a traditional ceremony back in India? I have no idea of how expensive weddings are in India, but if you have a small (50 people or less) you could pull it off with a budget of $7,000 or less in Pittsburgh, according to this website:

    ETA: The website URL is huge, just go to www.costofwedding.com/ and search either Pittsburgh or Baltimore to get an idea of the average budget you'll need.

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  • JessieLensherr
    VIP September 2016
    JessieLensherr ·
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    I'm American and Jew-ish. Was raised Jewish and not extremely practicing but did have a bat mitzvah and want to incorporate some Jewish touches into our wedding. FH is half Japanese and thinking of possibly doing something with that too.

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  • Nonna T
    Master April 2014
    Nonna T ·
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    My dil is Indian. They had a Hindu ceremony and reception at her parents' home a few days before the western ceremony and reception. Could your family travel to the US for the wedding? Could you honeymoon in India and have a reception there?

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  • MrsA
    Master October 2015
    MrsA ·
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    We incorporated traditions from both sides

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  • Kelly King
    Kelly King ·
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    Fusion weddings are fun and creative! Find a way to interject your culture into the American traditions, or vice-versa. A good planner should be able to help you find the best ways to do this, while keeping you in your budget.

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  • Michele
    Expert November 2016
    Michele ·
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    I think we will be incorporating a few things to pay homage to FH's Guatemalan heritage. Neither of us are super religious though, so we just plan on having a more personal non-denominational ceremony.

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  • Celia Milton
    Celia Milton ·
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    We do inter-cultural weddings all the time. Usually we incorporate readings and customs from each side.

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  • MayBride
    VIP May 2016
    MayBride ·
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    My FH is American, but we are doing a South Indian wedding. Most people do some sort of mix (abbreviated Hindu ceremony and a quick American ceremony), so I'm the outlier. FH and his family didn't care, so we're just doing an abbreviated South Indian wedding (keeping it to around an hour). All of our non-Indian friends and family are excited about the wedding, since it's new to most of them. For a mixed wedding, you can probably get a Hindu priest and also a justice of the peace (or minister, or any other officiant).

    A budget of $15,000 for an Indian wedding (or any wedding) will be tight. You will have to limit your guest list and possibly cut out all of the extra pre-wedding stuff.

    ETA: There is a temple in Pittsburgh, I believe, in case you want to ask them about priests.

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  • T
    Devoted May 2016
    Taylor ·
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    Do a fusion!! As a guest, I love seeing traditions that are different from what I'm used to. I love learning about it and there is usually some really beautiful meaning behind it. The easiest place to cut cost is the guest list. So that shouldn't effect the traditions too much. You could also set priority on which traditions you'd definitely like to do and which ones you can live without.

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  • O
    Super April 2016
    Ostrich ·
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    My venue did a fusion Indian and Nigerian wedding. It looks absolutely beautiful and incorporated aspects of both cultures. Judging by the pictures this was quite a bit more than $15,000 but maybe you can draw some ideas from it.

    http://www.linwoodestate.com/blog/2016/01/28/cultural-fusion-indian-nigerian-september-wedding/

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  • O
    Super April 2016
    Ostrich ·
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    As other's mentioned guest list is an easy way to cut costs, I was always under the impression though at Indian weddings are VERY large occasions, so I'm not sure if that works for you and your family. or I could be totally wrong!

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  • LaToya
    Expert June 2016
    LaToya ·
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    Fusion weddings are the best because it shows the combining of 2 cultures and gives each culture exposure to the other.

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  • LDwed
    Super April 2016
    LDwed ·
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    I have friends that have traveled to India for weddings this year and they just loved it! The pictures are amazing, the outfits, the colors, everything! If I were indian I would probably want an Indian wedding. But a fusion might be easier to do for everyone involved. And both families would feel included and represented.

    FH is Mexican-American (mother from Mexico) I'm Swedish-American (born and raised in Sweden) We both happen to be jewish, not a criteria either of us had when choosing our mates. We are incorporating all our cultures in our wedding. Some of the music and food will be Mexican, some decor (and all bridesmaids lol) will be swedish, and our ceremony will be jewish

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  • jewles322
    Master March 2015
    jewles322 ·
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    I've seen some wedding videos of Asian-American couples, do some Asian traditional things before the big wedding (they're families were there), and then the wedding was more on the American side.

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  • annakay511
    Master July 2015
    annakay511 ·
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    Hi, welcome to WW! Please change your avatar to something other than the rings. Thanks!

    I'm from Baltimore and tbh, you will have a hard time planning a wedding for $15,000 unless you have a small guest list. That's probably true for Pittsburgh as well. I suggest doing some venue searches to get an idea of how much it will realistically cost you.

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  • Minerva
    VIP August 2016
    Minerva ·
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    Given your budget, I would do a fusion wedding. Traditional Indian weddings can be incredibly expensive. Perhaps you could incorporate traditions of each into a one day ceremony and reception. You could do a traditional red sari rather than a white bridal gown, etc.

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  • Angel
    Just Said Yes November 2017
    Angel ·
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    Thank you all for sharing your thoughts and ideas. Thanks Ostrich and VC for the link. I'm leaning more towards fusion wedding in Pittsburgh. I'll come up with more questions after discussing with my fiancé :-). Best wishes for everyone getting married soon.

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  • Kelsey
    VIP December 2016
    Kelsey ·
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    I have no personal input on this, but I just want to say that I have seen Indian-American weddings featured in a lot of the bridal magazines and they are some of the most beautiful weddings I have ever seen. so my opinion would definitely be to have the fusion wedding. Especially with your budget, you could have an absolutely gorgeous wedding for 15k in Pittsburgh as opposed to two smaller weddings. will your family in India be able to travel?

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