Parents and siblings boycott

I agree with all the other posts, they do not get a say in your bridal party. You need to calmly sit down with them and explain the situation they are putting you in. @the centerpiece flowers explained it beautifully. If you behave like an adult, hopefully, they will follow suit.

Can you give your brothers a different role? Like doing a reading or greeting guests and giving out programs and seating people? That way they are involved

1. Your bridal party does not have to be even.

2. Let them fucking boycott.

Honestly, if anyone (including my parents) threatened to boycott my wedding I would respond with: "Great! Now we have room to invite the Lesners down the street!" or in the case of it being someone really close like parents or a BP member I might go with "Great! With the money we'll save on your dress/tux/gift/whatever we can afford to upgrade the liquor package!"

I just feel that anyone who would do that to me I don't need around. Anyone who cares more about their own little petty issues than my happiness on my wedding day can shove it. Who does that to a person?

Haven't read the comments, sonI may be repeating what others have said.

You, and only you, get to choose your BP, esp since no one else is helping with finances. Let them threaten to boycott. I suspect that's all it is is a threat. However, if they want to be that petty, let them. You will still be married and they will have missed an important day in your life.

You do not need even sides. Being married does not eliminate someone from being a BM. Look at it this way - if you are the last one in a group of friends to get married, you are not allowed to have your friends with you for the sole reason of them getting married before you. I suspect that was his way of "making room" in the BP for your brothers. It's absurd - and you can tell him I said that!

BP absolutely get to bring a plus one if they so choose. No discussion, no explanation, that just is.

I swear I don't know why people want to be in BP so much. The last one I was in was so awful I didn't even want to attend another wedding when it was over and done. People need to get a serious grip on themselves.

If they aren't paying they should have no say...

How rude of them!

Fuck 'em. Seriously. Who does that?

Do what you want.

I'm sorry, but your parents are out of their minds to demand things like that and not be paying.

Quite odd. Centerpiece said it all. Yep.

They are being beyond ridiculous, I don't even know where to start.

Do you live with your parents or on your own? Because if I was out of their house, I'd cut off all contact for the time being. They are throwing a tantrum and need to be put in time out.

You tell them this isn't their wedding. End of discussion.

This is your wedding. You get to make the decision. So if your family wants to make really immature threats, it's up to you if you want to let that change the plan you and your FH have. In my opinion your family is being kind of ridiculous and I hope they will see that sooner rather than later. Sorry

If they are not paying then they have no say so. If you want to add your brothers without them being groomsmen, then maybe consider having them be the ushers. And to dictate who in your bridal party can bring is ridiculous! As you said, some are even married, it would be completely inappropriate to not invite their spouses.

Oh, to hell with them. Your wedding, your money, seriously...did you ever stop to think that you're probably better off if this is how they treat you?

Contrary to popular, long-held, beliefs, cutting out family members if they're toxic is okay!

Um we got told by FSIL that she wouldn't attend if she wasn't a bm. My reaction? Oh well. We picked who we wanted to pick. I wasn't a bm in her wedding a couple years ago. So too bad.

It's your wedding. Have who you want in the bridal party

Your parents are control freaks. You do you.

@centerpieces

@sandpiper

You both have a way with words! Thank you <3

@mrsdani313

@lauraD

Ushers are a no go too, that was my original idea for my brothers and my parents shit on that too; said ushers are a bullshit role/afterthought for my brothers and a "slap in the face."

@a bride

I am 28 and haven't lived at home in about 7 or 8 years. My dad is the problem.

If they're not paying for anything, they can't tell you what to do. This is crazy to me! Sorry you have to deal with this. Don't let them boss you around. It's your wedding and you have it however you damn please!