Parents and siblings boycott

Are they for real? No. Just no. This is your wedding, they can't dictate who your BP is, or who gets a plus one.

If they aren't paying, they have no say in your wedding. Yes, bridal party gets plus one! Good luck!

Why do you gave to add 2 more girls? My FH has two more guys and I'm not adding anyone because the reality is, is you want the ppl who matter in your wedding party...

Uh. Let them boycott. I'm grown, they want to be jerks? They can be uninvited jerks. Or... If they want to say, they pay. Eff that!

If they aren't paying, they get no say in anything! Even if they are paying, thats beyond wrong to say to their child. Its your wedding, you have who you want in the bridal party, and let them have a plus one

If this is how they treat you then you might be better of letting them "boycott" the wedding.

Wow. They sure have their opinions about your wedding don't they? I would plan the wedding you want, this is your day, not theirs, especially if they aren't contributing. Do what makes YOU happy. I would stop including them on any planning going forward because you will only be met with opposition and pressure to do what they want. They need to grow up and be happy for whatever wedding you want because it's is in fact YOUR wedding.

Tell them it's an adult only wedding, and since they're acting like children, they won't be invited. I agree with everyone who says "no pay, no say."

Do not stress yourself out. If your parents and brothers are willing to miss one of the most important days of your life and look like complete fools to your guests then let them.

It's your wedding, do whatever you'd like! Even if they were helping to pay, they can't dictate who your bridal party should be.

No pay, no say.

I don't know etiquette for if the parents pay if they have a say who is in the wedding party (I thought it was for guest list only), but I really don't feel like he or anyone else has any say who is in your wedding party regardless if they paid or not. What kind of parent puts that kind of stress on their own child?

Also, FYI your wedding party doesn't have to be even so don't fret over that.

Your brothers can be ushers...solves that problem! They are technically in the bridal party.

And they could be bridesmen...that way FH can still have his boys and your brothers are in the bridal party.

And even if your parents contribute they do not get to dictate your guest list.

FYI your parents and siblings are entitled as f***

You are an adult. You are no longer a junior high school student who either obeys their parents or gets grounded. They have absolutely no right to demand that you either bow to them or deal with the humiliation of their absence. Honestly, I think they're bluffing. In the end, they'll look like the idiots, not you.

I'd email, text, or write them a letter saying, "Mom and Dad, It never crossed my mind that you would be anything other than excited and proud to attend my wedding as the VIPs that you are. However, being the parents of the bride doesn't give either of you the power or the right to assign honor attendant roles to anyone. It doesn't matter if those people are my siblings or my cousins; the fact is that the choice is our choice. You had your wedding, and you were free to plan it the way you wanted to plan it. If your parents invaded and forced you to do things you didn't want to do, then you should understand how heartbreaking your ultimatum is. Despite that heartbreak, we will not be forced, and we will not be threatened. You are the two people I always envisioned at my wedding, but part of that vision included you respecting me as an adult embarking on the life you raised me to lead. If you cannot take your honored roles without issuing threats of a boycott, then I'll have to admit that I never saw this coming. Frankly, you've shattered my heart. We hope you reconsider, but if you don't, understand that I won't be covering for you if anyone asks (and they will) where you are on our wedding day. If you feel strongly enough to even suggest such a thing, then you will have to live with the fall-out. Honestly, I'm hoping we can put this ugly episode behind us, chalk it up to wedding stress, and get on with what promises to be an amazing day.

For the sake of our family, you seriously need to rethink this. Our wedding day is the beginning of a new branch of the family. You belong on that branch...with us."

50 bucks that they are bluffing to get their way.

Wut. thats really crap behavior. you definitely should still make your own decisions. sorry you find yourself in this situation.

"I'm glad you all care about my wedding and want to include the family. I want to let you all know that the bridal party has been set. I understand some of you might be hurt by this. My brothers mean the world to me, and I definitely want them to be included in the wedding, but I've decided that I want my bridal party to be only women.

If any of you decide not to come to the wedding because of this, I will be sad and hurt. Obviously it's a special day for me, and it would be really painful for me not to have all of you there. I want you all to understand how upsetting it is to hear that any of you would consider not attending the wedding because I've decided to include my brothers in a different way than you have in mind. I am doing my best to include a lot of people and please everyone, and I hate to think that a decision like this could cause any of my family to turn their backs on me on this important day."

Then refuse to discuss any wedding details with any of them -- sounds like these folks really want to control everything and aren't respecting boundaries. They'll continue to guilt trip you and hurt you as long as you let them.

This seems like emotional blackmail. They're probably bluffing. Don't let them bully you.

Cross-posted with Centerpiece... as usual, her words are much wiser and more eloquent than mine.

I was going to tell you to just let them boycott because anyone who is going to be that much of an asshole doesn't need to be in your life. But Centerpiece gave you much better advice.

Sheesh. And I thought my FMIL demanding us pay for her travel expenses was bad. I'm so sorry, fantastic advice from PPs though.