One of my "best friends" decided to plan her destination wedding on same weekend as my bachelorette party

This would suck...sorry you have to deal with this. If the friend knew your bach date & change her wedding date to be the same...knowing that you wouldn't be able to attend, nor some of your bach guests...I'd be hurt, too. Have you picked up the phone & talked to her about how you are feeling & just to get things out in the open.

Personally, I would be hurt; but more concerned about not being able to attend their wedding. If the schedule for both events remain, maybe your BMs will see what just happened & still decide to attend your bach party as it was in the works first?!?

If she just got engaged over the weekend, chances are she doesn't have a venue. And without a venue, you don't have a date. So this could all just be unnecessary.

Doesn't sound like something a "friend" would do. She showed her true colors.

If she doest have a venue booked, maybe she will end up with a different date. I hope everything works out for you both

You may have said she's hosting but one of your previous comments literally says "this is the trip I planned and the friends that chose to come along..."

That is super shitty. But maybe you can do something local with your girls another weekend and still attend her wedding

Wow my feelings will absolutely be hurt but you know what you don't let anybody steal your joy let her get married you focus on yourself you create your own fun you don't need people around you to dictate that so if your bachelorette party only has three or four girls so what you make the best of It . Sometimes things happen for reason so you can see who truly your friends are

Honestly I would be more upset that I was unable to attend one of my "best friend's" weddings than her not going to my bachelorette party...

It doesn't matter if they had a backyard cookout planned or just a girl's getaway. The reason for the event, or the fact that it's a destination Bach party is irrelevant. One of her "best friends" chose to get married on a day when both of them (and several of their mutual friends) are unavailable. And that's the sticking point.

I agree with the PPs that said she sounds self-centered. And she's pulling puppet strings throughout your circle of friends. This screams "choose me over her, so I can feel good about myself".

My original suggestion still stands. Try talking to her (only because she's a close friends) but don't rearrange yours and your friends' plans for someone who made you all choose between the two of you "just because".

@Swin, you are right about the different personalities. I am usually very go with the flow with most things, but when a "friend" does something that is obviously purposefully hateful or hurtful, or that makes friends feel they have to choose between them, that is where I draw the line and stand up for what is right. End of Story.

This website is all about etiquette, and I am ALL about the etiquette of how you treat your friends. Apparently, OP's "friend" doesn't understand that etiquette, and your posts and you saying “Get over it. It's her wedding. Calm it. If anyone is being kind of a bad friend, I'd say it was the one skipping her best friend's wedding for a destination bach party...”and "it's a wedding versus a party, if you can't make that distinction you're a shitty friend' leads me to believe that you also are confused on the etiquette of how we treat friends.

I wouldn't cancel because your friend knew that your Bach was planned for that weekend. And I don't think it's right that now her wedding should be more important than your Bach. Especially when your MOH took the time off and effort to plan this for you. To me she didn't think about your feelings. Enjoy yourself

I'm with TheeOne2Love. She knew about your baxhelorette party in advance and still stuck her wedding that same weekend. Who does that? I'm planning mine next year because my best friend is getting married in November. It's important to me that we are both there for all of each other's events. I realize you can't do that for just anyone, but someone you classify as "best"? Tacky on her part.

Sorry you are going through this OP. One does have to question however, how close of a friend she is. Knowing that the host of your Bach party had to put in the date almost five months in advance due to work obligations clearly shows that it's not easy to simply change the date. Now not only you but other mutual friends are stuck between choosing the events. It's just inconsiderate especially if the date has no specific significance to them.

1. If you planned a trip, then yes I would be frustrated if someone else involved in that process decided to plan a wedding for that exact weekend. Who knows how much is refundable of the trip. Do you get one day? Yes. It doesn't mean that that's not inconsiderate as fuck of the friend.

2. People hating on destination bachelorette weekends. If the whole group wants to and can afford a trip, then who gives a shit?

3. People saying you should have no say in the planning process of your bachelorette: This is nuts to me. A total surprise with no involvement in deciding what would be fun, does not sound like a fun night (or weekend) to me. Also, who cares if you plan your own bachelorette party? Most of the time there are no gifts involved. If you wanna get together with your friends, how is it different than planning a night out? I would bat not a single eyelash if a friend planned her own party.

Zulander...regarding #2 yes I don't get this issue at all...nobody is being forced lol!