One of my "best friends" decided to plan her destination wedding on same weekend as my bachelorette party

Still have no idea why destination bachelorette parties became a thing---you do not need to plan a big thing...rearrange your bachelorette to be something fun at home so you can also attend the wedding!

She gets to pick the day of her wedding...sry but wedding trumps bachelorette party in my mind.

UO: Your friend is not your friend and probably won't be for much longer.

She obviously does not care if you attend her wedding (by wanting it during your trip). Are you actually friends? This person is seriously in your bridal party?? None of my BM's would do this, nor would I do it to them. Shit, my venue had two dates available, and I picked the one furthest from my BM's wedding as I felt three weeks was too close to have our weddings.

That said, she's planning a destination wedding in 5 months? Good luck lol. Don't change your plans until she has actually confirmed a venue. If she does, plan your bachelorette party there so you can be petty AF right back at her.

Shame on your friend and shame on the friends backing out. Once I make a commitment to go somewhere I keep it - that sucks!

That being said, I'm opposed to destination bach and im wondering if those friends never wanted to go for financial reasons and now the wedding is giving them an out?

Hell no I would be mad AF. Especially since she knew the date way before. If she was a real friend she would not have done that. Don't cancel anything. Still do your event, seven girls is more than enough for a great bach party.

I mean it sucks but maybe she also put in for that time off at work and it isn't feasible to get anymore time off. Also, can your MOH not even ask if it's possible to switch her vacation, considering it is 5-6 months in advance?

Hey guys seems like a lot of backfire for the whole destination bachelorette thing. Just to clarify, in my group of friends LITERALLY every single one has had a destination wedding and about half a destination bachelorette party. So while I understand it's not some people's preference it's what the norm is with my friends and it's what I chose especially since I am not doing a destination wedding. That being said, when you have a destination bachelorette you fully acknowledge that some people may not be able to attend due to financial reasons or otherwise. I have been totally respectful that half my friends can't come to the weekend and that's fine. But, this is the trip I planned and the friends that chose to come along wanted to come along. If people didn't want to come along they didn't. I would never force anybody to go.

I may be in the minority here. But Na she wrong for this. She knew about your bach party. Why would she set her wedding on the date of your Bach, that is pre-planned and she was supposed to attend (I assume since she is a BM). There are 364 more days on the calendar for her to choose. I think this is sort of petty especially since you have cross guests, namely now you have friends choosing between a preplanned Bach party and a sudden wedding. Girl go on and enjoy your Bach Party, even if it's you and your MOH. Some ppl. have no common sense. She didn't think of you, so you don't need to think of her. Also be prepared if this friendship ends. She may not take it nicely that you are not attending her wedding. Although, then again I don't think she wanted you to go in the 1st place, otherwise she would have planned better. Ppl. Eventually show their true colors, believe them.

How does the fact it is a destination bachelorette matter? if the friend scheduled the wedding the same day as her in town bachelorette, would she have more of a right to be angry?

Agreed @Ella. I don't understand why the fact that its a destination bachelorette matters. It's still shitty. If she was having her bachelorette in her home town it would not make a difference - it is inconsiderate of your friend to plan her wedding on a date when she already knew was your bachelorette. I would be pissed. And do not move your bachelorrette.

Your bachelorette party was already scheduled and planned and your "friend" was well aware. That to me, isn't a good friend and doesn't mean you should change your already planned event to go to her wedding. If you can't make it, then so be it! Enjoy your weekend and she may regret it later on as she could have enjoyed your bachelorette and enjoyed her wedding had she considered it. I looked into other family obligations and friends events when I picked my wedding date to ensure those that I wanted to be there with me could make it and she obviously didn't consider that!

She planned and picked her weekend that fast after getting engaged?

I find it odd that she picked this date knowing your Bach party was already planned and people have committed to it. She's basically forcing your friend group to choose between the two. I would be pissed. When I picked my date I didn't want it to be near any other birthdays/anniversaries etc. because I didn't want my VIPs to have to miss it. I'm selfish as hell and want all my most important friends and family to be there on my day lol

WHAT A BITCH.

A wedding is more important than a Bach party. It sucks, but there's nothing you can do to change her wedding. You can rearrange your Bach or you can proceed as it and get over the fact that it won't be exactly what you wanted. You can still have fun. Not trying to be crass, but she put you in an uncomfortable position. Personally, I'd probably keep the Bach as is because I made a commitment to others and I don't like turning back once I do.

I think the people commenting on "she gets a day, you get a day" are being a little harsh. If they've had this planned for months and she TRULY just moved it to that weekend "just because" without forgetting about OPs bach, then it was an incredibly shitty thing to do.

But OP, at the end of the day, what can you do about it? I'm also a little hurt by people I thought would definitely come to my bach but aren't for not really any reason (that I've been made aware of), but I've been just getting over it. Go with the people who will come and have a great time.

Sorry, she is not being a bitch.

Get over it. It's her wedding. Calm it. If anyone is being kind of a bad friend, I'd say it was the one skipping her best friend's wedding for a destination bach party....

ETA: Leah, bachelorette parties literally mean nothing so I think it's not harsh that a wedding is more important than some boozey weekend.

Regardless of the destination or local bach, i'd be angry and questioning the friendship. sometimes things like this can't be avoided- for instance if she has family obligations. however, if she is your best friend you would know about what's going on in your life and she wouldn't be so casual about this (when you said she chose the date because she liked it)...and there's also the fact that she would be stealing people away from your party... has she been selfish or thoughtless other times? what do your friends think?

Again, if the bachelorette party was in town the OP still would have to cancel it in order to attend the friend's wedding. Why does it being a destination BP matter?

@Swin you sound like a whole lot of fun (sarcasm)

I think I would be super upset at the fact I would be missing my best friends wedding not that she planned it on my bach weekend.

I never said it was as important, it's obviously not. But when you don't really have a reasoning for making it that date (which is why I said truly, meaning giving her the benefit of the doubt that there is a reason), when you are probably well aware that you're likely making mutual friends choose between two events, that's a tad bit of a shitty thing to do. I could've made my wedding the weekend before and all my guests would have been able to come but FH's family would be having to choose between a family reunion and our wedding. Which is more important? I would if course say our wedding as it's not a thing that happens every few years, but it's a plan that's been set in place, so out of respect for others, I didn't.