One of my "best friends" decided to plan her destination wedding on same weekend as my bachelorette party

Honestly this might sound harsh but she gets to pick her wedding day. It's not the same day as your wedding day, and you're right. You can't control other people's plans. I would honestly let it go. You each get one day.

You get one day. she gets one day....and if she picked her one day to be the weekend of your bach party....so be it.

Was it sort of inconsiderate on her part? yes. But, not the end of the world....im sorry you wont be having the bach party you had in mind or wont be attending your good friends wedding.

Ugh. I would be hurt also, especially if your trips were already booked. I'm experiencing a lot of inconsiderate things from friends, you're not alone. In the end it's all about you and your spouse getting married. I try to remember that every time I get upset about these types of things.

Can you choose to attend the wedding instead and have a local Bach instead of a destination one?

Like go to the wedding and continue with the rest of the weekend partying with your girls.

The bride obviously won't be attending the festivities, but that's probably the best you can do.

I do agree it's a little inconsiderate of her to set her date on a weekend she has already made plans for, and knows some of her close friends already have plans for, but you're stuck with making it work for you.

I feel ita odd that your friend decided to get married on a day you guys planned a mini vacay. If she was a friend of a friend I would probably be ok but I find it extremely odd that your friend decided to change from a week away to the day of. However can you cancel and do something local that Friday and catch a flight to her wedding the next day....i mean if its that important. Cause ugggh I would think we aren't that close if she made that decision.

Could you end up treating her DW as your DBach Party? Is it a location where, with a few extra days maybe, you could still have the bach party you want with the people you want in attendance?

I would be hurt as well. i know everyone only gets one day, but you are obviously close if she already called and shared her wedding date with you, and it seems inconsiderate to plan it for a date when she knows a number of her close friends have plans to be out of town.

I know you only get one day and all that, but if I'm being honest, this would rub me the wrong way.

I told a friend of mine about a wedding I am attending on her Bach day and I attended a baby shower on her bridal shower day. Some events Trump others. Baby Shower are the event for having a baby. For weddings you get so many extra events you can't be upset if people miss those extras to attend an actual wedding.

I would be upset for a bit, but if she's important to you- I would rearrange (change dates/location-make it local?) my bach and go celebrate her wedding. It can't be only one way...

Ouch, that's harsh. Yes it sucks but PP's are right it is her day was it inconsiderate absolutely- but you know what might shock her is if you show up! It also might say something to her that even though she did something extremely inconsiderate you still showed up to her special day when it was originally supposed to be your bach party. Be the bigger person and just let it be.

I'd be ticked but, you can dictate the day she chooses.

Does she even have a venue yet? I wouldn't worry until that's confirmed.

My first thought was to try and do a local one and/or change the weekend. I offered to try and do that as my first response to her. The problem is that my MOH works weekends and had specifically requested off for that weekend months ago (she has a very niche government job). So since my MOH is planning the bachelorette party we are stuck with that weekend. Yes I agree we each get one day but it still feels horrible to me to have to go to my friends wedding or cancel my bachelorette party completely. For my group of friends everybody has made a big deal out of everybody else bachelorette parties and weddings so it feels weird not to be able to do that for each other. I feel like it's an easy solution to avoid by having a wedding any other time but not my choice so I'm just trying to process it.

UO if my best friend did this i would be PISSED. And i would NOT rearrange anything if she PURPOSELY arranged her wedding on the day of my event that's been planned for months just because she "likes it". #SorryNotSorry. BTW my BEST friend would NEVER do something like this.

Its rude and inconsiderate AF. A random friend ok yes Let it go. But your BEST friend? * side eyes friendship*

I've never had this happen to me. I find it odd though, that your "best friend" would plan her wedding on a day that she knows you're unavailable and knows some of your/her friends are unavailable. Changing a trip isn't always an option, especially if you have paid deposits or if there are cancellation/change restrictions. Since you're close friends, talk to her and ask if she can change it so you can attend. If she won't, continue with your bach party as planned.

It would be her and 2 other friends who would not be able to attend my bachelorette party. I am doing a destination bachelorette so I understood from the start that would make it more difficult for people to attend. I think it makes it a bit awkward when they have already committed to coming to my weekend but so be it. I would change the weekend if I could, but it's not possible with my MOH work schedule (she's an air traffic controller and their work schedules are super funky, to get specific weekends off they bid once a year for the remaining year of leave). The first thing I did was contact my MOH to see if there was any other weekend but there isn't with her work schedule and what she already bid for the year.

I'd be very upset. That is NOT something a "friend" would do.

How is she even planning this wedding .. I mean she got engaged last weekend and yesterday decided to marry on a weekend in Nov? That is 5 months from now. She probably will not find an available venue. Either way not cool from her.

@Shana

I am sorry and this sucks. You said the bride who scheduled her wedding is your best friend, but she is not your MOH. Is there any underlying tension there? If it was due to her families' schedules, I can see it happening solely due to circumstances. Is there any way your MOH can switch weekends with another co-worker?

How big of a bachelorette party were you going to have? I am only having my 6 bridesmaids at mine, so if 3 of them suddenly could not come I would be changing the plans. If you will still have over 5 people attending, you should go ahead and focus on your party.