Officiant Gift

Is he a pro? If he is, give him what he usually gets, which is probably between 200-500.00.

If he's not? Hire a pro.

A 100.00 tip for an officiant is only appropriate if they are a church/synagogue based clergy person supported by the church, or an indepedent who you are paying a fee.

Is he a minister?

Money! We gave our minister $400 I believe. An internet search said at least $200-400 for a church minister so we went off that as he never told us an amount.

My uncle is officiating ours as well (he's a pastor and done hundreds of weddings). We're still giving him the going rate in our area ($400-500) and he can do with it what he wants, whether it's keeping it or donating it to the church.

He's not a pro. We wanted a family member to do it since we aren't doing a religious ceremony. I felt like paying him would be awkward. He does a lot of public speaking at 9/11 memorial events (he's NYPD) so I'm fully confident in his ability to memorize what will be maybe a 15 minute ceremony. I appreciate the advice to hire a pro and we did consider it, but we have decided not to.

Most of the weddings we've been to recently have been friends/family members officiating and they have all been wonderful. In fact, my FH officiated for my best friends wedding two years ago (though I don't believe they gave him a gift or anything).

Being that he isn't a pro, I still want to get him something as a thank you. What would people recommend for a non-pro? Anyone else have this experience?

I'm also having a friend officiate. She has officiated weddings before, so she has experience, but she is not a pro. We've been friends for 10 years, and are both theatre actresses. I am writing her a nice thank you letter and giving her a generous gift card to her favorite restaurant in San Francisco.

One of my friends (not a pro) was the officiant for another friend recently. They gave him a gift card to a fancy restaurant in town (I think around $125?).

I would get him a really nice personal gift or a gift card to somewhere he would enjoy.

Following! Our dear friend is officiating. We bought his plane ticket to get to the wedding, but I'm not sure how to thank him. He doesn't live here, so local gift cards aren't useful. And he moves a lot, so I don't want to get him some dust collecting item.

As an aside, I've been to weddings with pros and non-pros. Some of the pros were awful and awkward. We are confident our friend can handle this. We put a lot of thought into why we were asking him.

My FH's uncle is officiating our ceremony. He has done quite a few of the FHs family member's weddings and has never accepted money for them. We budgeted $100 for a personalized gift for him that he can't decline.

Just as an aside? I answered four calls between last Friday and today from people whose family members bailed on them.

I know it sounds absurd, but you should get a contract with these people just like you would with the cousin who is going to make your cake (maybe) or the friend who is going to do your makeup (maybe).

And no one memorizes a wedding ceremony....

My mom officiated my cousin's wedding, and my cousin gave her nice earrings and a jewelry box as a thank you gift. I'd say get him something nice he would like for $100-$200 or gift certificate to restaurant or something like that.

It's not what you asked, but since the other comments are mentioning decision to have non-pro:

UO but I think weddings officiated by non-pros are completely fine! I've been to many wonderful weddings officiated by non-pros, and a couple of less-nice weddings officiated by pros. I am having my cousin (a professional public speaker) officiate mine. I don't see it as anything like self-catering, since the absolute worst case scenario-- that they mess up and you are not legally married -- only really affects the bride and groom and does affect guest safety or comfort. As long as you're aware that's a risk, and that there's a possibility your friend/family member could bail, as Celia stated, I think it's fine.

@Celia, sorry memorize was the wrong word and not what I meant; I just meant be comfortable enough with what he was saying that he wasn't just reading off a piece of paper with no emotion and never looking up

Also, every other vendor is a professional. If disaster strikes and my uncle bails, then I guess we're having a pretend ceremony and going to the court house the next Monday! haha

My FH uncle is officiating as well ... not a pro ... we are giving him a special gift though ... not money ... only because of sentiment... FH family is super sentimental people... as our mine ... so super special gifts for him , our mother's and his aunt who is helping do hair ...

Honestly I've been to weddings with both ... pro and non pro ... last pro officiated wedding was so drawn out and boring .... the one with family or friends is very personal

Our officiant will be our youth group leaders and we are having a comic book wedding and we are gifting them a comic book version of the bible. It's normally for children but we thought it was a cute idea

Your timing is wonderful! On May 15th 2017 legislature was put before Albany to allow friends, family members and other ULC and Online officiants to apply for a 1 day permit that would make marriages they perform LEGAL. This means you wouldn't have to get married at Town Hall first to make it legal. I haven't heard if the bill passed and to the best of my knowledge Town Halls are not issuing the permits yet, but they might be by your wedding date!

Here is the legislature you will want to keep an eye on.

http://www.recordonline.com/news/20170515/albany-watch-weddings-farm-workers-police-dogs

I would give him the going rate - $300-500. Whether he's a pro or not, you shouldn't be using him to save money so I'd be getting him a gift in that range

Or let it be known, his officiating is his gift to you and do not accept a gift from him. Then give him $100 on top of that

My uncle is officiating mine too as he is a Pastor and we are very close. Good advice seen on this thread!