NWR: Toddler ear piercing

So, since then it has been a nightmare. She doesn't touch her ears and they are not infected (doing great actually) but she FREAKS if you even look like you're going to touch them. I have to clean them while she is sleeping and even then, it takes a good 15 minutes because she fights it even in a deep sleep. She gets scared when I pull shirts over her head, and she hasn't taken a bath without a HUGE fight in two weeks and I believe it's because I cleaned her ears after a bath once so she now associates the two.

Then this morning, she wakes up crying and saying "Owie ear" and when I looked, her earring had gotten pulled out! I believe it got caught in her sleep on something and just ripped out. There was a little blood, but it doesn't look like it tore the ear much. But she WILL NOT let me put it back in, even with someone else restraining her she acted like I was trying to murder her so I gave up after a minute. I just can't do it.

Bad thing is, she also fights just as hard to keep me away from her other ear so I can't take that one out!!! I don't know what to do ;( Her babysitter offered to take her back to the mall today and see if they can help or re-pierce it but I'm so scared. I feel like she is already traumatized from the first event and this is going to make it worse, and I'm afraid re-piercing a damaged ear might a) hurt worse and b) get infected easily. I am so upset over this and sick to my stomach.. If she were older, I could just explain it to her that she needs to let me put it in or take the other earring out but she's so young that all she sees is mommy is trying to hurt her. I am hating my sister for this right now.
Has anyone dealt with this and have any advice for me? Should I let them re-pierce it, or take the earrings out and let them heal..??

Wow... That's why its a good idea to do it when they are babies. They get used to it and it heals fast. When they are older. It bothers them so they mess with it and that can cause infection. When they are older then that, they freak out and are scared to death of the thought. So sorry you are going thru that but as it heals it will pass.

I think I would have been pissed. I know I would have been. I would have taken them both out and let them heal and get them pierced when she can ask for them and can take care of them.

I would take her to a doctor to see if it's best for the earrings to be taken out. Frankly, I'm baffled as to why people pierce the ears of babies and toddlers, it's not practical and clearly it's unsafe. Also, to me wearing earrings is a mark of growing up (much like wearing makeup and heels). Let children be children instead of miniature adults.

If she's being that intolerable just take them out. If you cant clean them because she fights you then they may get infected. Better safe than sorry. Infections hurt more.

I would definitely not try to re-pierce it... it seems to me like she can't handle having them pierced right now, especially if she won't let your clean them. I'd suggest taking out the other one (I know, obviously way easier said than done) and then when she's older and wants them pierced, and can handle having them cleaned, she can get them re-done.

It seems to me that your daughter is having a bad reaction to the ear piercing emotionally. Some might say that she'll get over it but the fact that she won't let you touch them makes it even more harder to take care of them. Personally, if this were going on with my daughter(who has her ears pierced btw), I would not take her back for the re-piercing. Sounds like she's been through enough. Hope that helps.

I'm stuck on the fact that your sister pierced your daughter's ears without permission. That boggles my mind.

Getting past that, though - definitely get the other earring out and let her ears heal and the holes close. She can get them pierced again when she's old enough to want that.

That's what I'm thinking.. I just knew from the beginning it was a bad idea, and I avoided getting them pierced before because I just wasn't comfortable about it. I wish I had been firmer with my sister but I guess I just didn't expect her to just decide "She's obviously not comfortable but, she didn't say no so I'm gonna do it!" I mean.. Who does that?! I would never even CONSIDER taking someone elses' kid to get their ears pierced... That's a big decision!! And even though I know they probably don't hurt anymore, she is associating them with pain now and it's just horrible.

I can not believe someone else pierced your daughters ear without out your permission, even if you never said no, you also never said yes. Also how did soemone else pierce her ear doesnt the parent have to be present to give concent i know i had to be present when my 8 year old got her ears pierced

Kimberly- I wondered the same thing actually!! Apparently at the mall they don't worry about that kind of thing? Either that or my sister lied and said it was her daughter. I don't know. :-/

Since she won't let you put the one back in, wait until she's asleep and take the other one out. They'll heal over eventually and you can get them repierced when she's older and she's requested it.

Oh, and my sister's reasoning for getting them done.... Her four year old has her ears pierced, and she said my daughter kept looking at them and said she wanted hers done too. She is not even two!!! She doesn't know what she wants! If I said "Hey Leila, would you like some of mommy's Mike's hard lemonade?" of course she is going to say yes. Doesn't mean it's a good idea! So, she kept looking at my neices ears because it's something different, they said "Do you want yours done too?" and naturally, she said yes. So they just did it. o_O

I'd have to agree with Shannon- take her to the doctor at this point to have them determine whether or not its suitable. They may even be able to take out the other ear piercing without too much fuss since it seems to be a big issue with having them pierced in the first place.

Also I think that you should sit down with your sister and let her know calmly that she should not have done that without your written consent. You obviously stated that you were waiting until she was older so you shouldn't feel like you are at fault because your sister pulled a bonehead move.

Update: My babysitter just called me and told me she took the other earring out while Leila was napping, and we're just going to let them heal up. I kept thinking about the idea of trying to get the other one in (whether by re-piercing or just holding her down and putting it through) and the idea just made me sick to my stomach. It also kind of makes me sad letting them close up because I feel like she just went through all this pain and suffering for no reason, but she clearly just isn't old enough to handle it - as I expected. My sister was like "Well there was a warranty on there and they will re-pierce it for you" and I just said "Um no. She is traumatized enough, I can't put her through that again. She can have it when she is older like I originally planned." and she didn't say anything back.

Definitely makes me think twice about ever asking her to babysit again, that's for sure.

Did you ask your sitter to take the earring out when the child went to sleep?

Wow, i can't believe she did that wthout your permission. I think its best to just let it close up. If she wants to repierce, then she can when she's older.

edit- and the mall? Really? I got my ears pierced at the doctors office.

Even at the mall I had to sign for my daughter to get her ears peirced. I am sure I would have gone to the mall for a discussion if I was you.

MJ - yes, I told her I was going to do it tonight when she went to bed and she offered to try while she was napping if she got a chance. Less "Bad mommy" feelings for me, lol.

Labake- Exactly!!!! I am a firm believer that piercing guns are TERRIBLE and ears should be pierced with a hollow needle to ensure the best healing process and least amount of damage. I was actually in to see my piercer a few months ago and he said he would pierce my daughters ears but NOT when she was at this age because she would fight it too much and it would not be a good time. So I had planned on bringing her to the tattoo shop when she was older and asking for it, and having it done the right way Now I'm worried her poor little ears will be scarred for life.