NWR- Adult letters to Santa

Dear Santa,

What happened to the money I asked you for a year ago? I was supposed to use that for my bills and a new makeover.... oh yeah and to help my family lol. Also what happened to the new car too? Man see that's why I don't believe in you anymore ='(

Lol this was funny. Wait this is sort of related on RHOA Phadera said she knew a man who could give himself head, his thing was as long as a fire hose. LMAO Ummm Santa Baby. lol

Dear Santa.

I have been a SUPER good gal. I haven't divorced or abused my husband! This year I would like a million dollars. Nothing serious, oh yeah, and world peace.

See you liked the Jerky and beer last year!

Love FMS

Dear Santa

Where’s that Mercedes all black with leather interior and a truck full of cash I asked for a couple years ago!! No more chocolate chips cookies for you big guy!

Dear Santa,

It's kinda bullisht that I have to leave you milk and cookies when I'm lactose intolerant and on a diet. Here's some bottled water and baby carrots. I'll reconsider our little munchie arrangement when I get that winning Mega Millions ticket.

Dear Santa,

We were told that great men would be found in all corners of the earth. A few years ago, I complained that the earth was round, so what the heck? You agreed, and gave me the greatest gift ever: my future husband. Fast forward to our little back and forth correspondence. I keep asking to win the lottery, and you keep telling me to buy a ticket. Okay, jeeves, it ain't working. So why don't you deliver the winning ticket to me, and we will just call it a day?

All my love,

-A

P.S. No cookies this year and, no, the alfalfa isn't for you. Mrs. C. sent out a memo that, due to FAA regulations on weight, you have to diet. Enjoy the rice cakes!

P.S.S. The winning ticket=donuts.

LMAO!! That was funny! @Ms. Boop GIIIIIIIIIIIRL!!!! That was too much lol! But hey this is what the elf stripper would look like lol

@STB Mrs.B I LOVE IT!!!

Dear Santa,

Since I managed a 3.7 GPA this fall term, I think I deserve all of my debt to be removed, my ex-husband to disappear, and to live comfy...$300,000 should do it, I'm not greedy.

Lots of love,

Missy

P.S. My house is made out of gingerbread and lollies, no alfalfa sprouts or baby carrots...

*hides net and crate above a plate of sugar babies*

Dear Santa,

Please find a job for all job seekers. Please continue to give my family good health. You gave me everything when you gave me DS.

Dear Santa,

I have everything I need and most of what I want. I'm amazed that FS and I are doing well when so many others are suffering. So here's what I really want for Christmas: a pony. And maybe a skateboard. And a jetpack. And a bottle of Veuve Clicquot. And bourbon. And maybe something cashmere.

What? I didn't say I had EVERYTHING that I want.

Love,

Shan

Dear Santa...

We have been doing the cookies and milk thing now for 24 years, but still you let those damn reindeer shit on my front lawn. Could you kindly stop feeding them before the big ride, or at least leave me a big shovel under the tree. Your pack of horny dudes make one heck of a mess.

Citizens United Against Reindeer Turds!

Carole B.

Dear Santa,

I try my hardest every year to be perfect! But, still you give everyone around me what they want. Jeeze you gave my friend that cheated on her hubby a new car last year!, and a guy my DS fired for stealing became a county commissioner. So all I ask is for our house loan to go through. Not even asking for the house cause we can find that on our own. Just the loan. Oh and give my parents like 100k would be nice they sure do need it!

Your biggest fan!,

arlala555

Dear Santa,

I don't ask for much, just that each time I reach in my pocket I have the amount I need for what I want. ex. the price of a Mercedes, The amount to help a family in need, the amount to give to the people picking up all the reindeer turds off the roof, (not complaining.....just an example).

I will continue to leave the cookies and milk and of course the carrots for the reindeer's. Looking forward to your visit again this year...maybe this will be the year.

Dear Santa,

WTF? I have been an angel the last 3 years and all you jolly a$$ can bring me is a pair of Payless shoes and debt. Since I handled that little present could you please give me a GOOD present this year? I would like a debit card that has an infinite amount of money on it... Chocolate that has no carbs, calories or anything to harm my diet. Kthnx

Sincerely,

Greyash

Dear Santa,

Since I have managed not to slap my boss silly for the past year, please send me a new job. Better yet, please hit me up with the winning lotto numbers so that I can begin the new year by telling him to kiss my a$$.

Love,

Andrene

P.S. If you could include a splash of the secret miracle weight loss drug that would be just fab.

@Carmen - love it!

Dear Santa,

I was good....my neighbor was not. But he wasn't trying to be a bad boy. We (my neighbor and I) forgive out other neighbor for starting the fire. Heck, I helped him select his new carpeting, wall colors, counter tops and other flooring.

What would i like? Enough dough to put my own home back together (insurance doesn't cover all of it.) I would also like future safety, so a Safety Angel would be nice.

I would also like a good paying job for everyone. I am fortunate with my career. I want others to feel the same. Santa, oh Santa, I think that those jobs may be on the Island of Misfit Toys. Could you please stop there this year?

P.S. Santa, if you're not gonna get DS's gift here in time for Christmas, I'm taking away your ranch dressing. Sorry, fatty. That's just how I roll.