Not Engaged Yet?

Well back in April, FS and I decided that we wanted to get married and planned to just get married at courthouse. He is in Navy. His mom was like um stephen didn't propose to you and you guys are planning a wedding, interesting. But a day before he left for 7 months deployment last month, he texted me and asked me,"Will you marry me, Megan Maria Bingham?" Then I changed my mind to have a real wedding since my FS wanted one and I always dreamed to have a real wedding. It just I wanted to avoid it because of my dad unfunished business with my mom and expenses :-(. So just a few weeks I was planning a little bit then after he proposed, I started wanting a wedding lol.

@nancy i agree- no paper, ring or speech will make it any more official to us than it is now but to our families we havent mentioned it since i dont want to have to deal with so many opinions.

i have already been learning a lot from you ww ladies!

i agree with jessica i am hoping i can decide what him and i want before hearing everyone's opinions (since we know they all have one :]) that way when the decisions have to be made, we already have in mind what we truly want!

i like the idea of getting to relax during the planning process- iam trying to avoid the "super stressed- nervous- worried" type of planning if i can at all costs!

9/24/11 - "that's a whole different thread of dks' that we will pretend never happend lol. To each their own"

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Exactly, thank you We're communicating a lot better now and things are MUCH better. Having the thread going was making it harder for me to move on from the past. As for planning, I'm more worried that this will happen: Navy: "After this phase of training, you'll be deployed for a year. That's 4 months from now." That would give us about 3 months to plan a wedding as we want to get married before he gets deployed (if that does happen). He's not done training yet, but he'll have his wings by the end of this phase (4-8 months).

Megan - He proposed in a text message? :p That's a cute story. We were thinking about getting married at the JOP and planning an actual wedding later on, but we haven't decided if that's what we're going to do. One of our friends (in the Navy too) who recently got married told us to do it that way. They said just think of it as "paperwork." They had a HUGE wedding in April, but secretly got married beforehand (JOP) and didn't tell their family :p

We were "unofficially engaged" for about a year (and dated for 5 years before that). He wanted to formally propose. It was important to him. I didn't consider myself engaged until the formal proposal (neither did he).

I was engaged to someone else in my early 20's. He did give me a ring, but it was long after the proposal. Every engagement is different. It depends how the couple defines it.

Not official, but will be when I get home from this long deployment, o so close yet so far, UGH. My FH has nothing to do with the military (other than me) and so he thought I could not wear a ring while overseas (he feels so dumb), so he wanted to put wait for when i get home, but he let the cat out of the bag when he asked why my friend had her ring on. I said babe we can wear our rings, that’s when he let me know what happened and that he feels dumb, lol I love him. So we picked our date and started to plan for it since I will only have a few months to get everything in order and rented. I know he will ask when I get home within a week or so, and I'm pretty sure he will ask on a post Deployment vacation to Chicago when we head up to watch a Sox game, not during the game but sometime during our few days we spend in Chicago, I'm trying to act like I have no idea, hehehe.

I originally joined this site to play with the inspiration boards. Then I found the forums. We're still not engaged, BUT he did just purchase my ring about a week ago!!! I have to wait a while to get it; he wants me to meet the rest of his family up in PA (we're in TX), and apparently there's some other stuff that has to happen too. But we're living together and everything's going well. I'm just gathering ideas at this point in time. He knows that, and is cool with it. I haven't talked to any vendors or anything like that. I don't have a lot of female friends around here (yet), so I use the forums for some social contact as well. Plus I like looking at all the dress & make up / hair pictures!!

Well I cant do JOP because mine is in deployment until Dec and wedding would be 2 months later, ya know? Well he wanted to formally proposed to me but we always had a LDR since we met on eHarmony. He was born and raised by where I live in WA but he was stationed in Norfolk, VA. Beautiful state! We only had total of 2 weeks together in person and people call us crazy :-p

Very true Meridith :-)

Aww Julie, I didn't get my ring until a week after he proposed. and congrats :-)

Oh also DKS I am Deaf so i can't hear on phone or I am sure he would propose on phone :-p

We got engaged last June, but we talked about getting married (this June) since January/February 2009 and we picked the ring out the following March. We just do things our way. We knew wanted to do a DW, but we couldn't book airfare until August 2009 when they released the airfare, so we knew we wanted to have everything figured out and decided by that time. I gave up my career and moved in with him after 5 months of being together, because I know me, and we never would have lasted if I hadn't have moved. (He was previously married and had 2 kids, so there was NO way he was leaving his kids!)

We got engaged the day before Valentine's Day of this year (FH couldn't wait, I guess!!). But we talked about getting married and set a date (kind of) waaaaay back in the beginning of 2009. We knew we'd have a lot on our plate until 2012 at the earliest, so we started talking about dates/locations. I joined WW in the fall of '09, unofficially engaged. For Christmas of that year, FH surprised me with a wedding planning book. I loved it so much, and that's when I truly considered us engaged. But he did make it 'official' by proposing with a ring 2/13/2010.

I think I also found this site via Inspiration Boards. Or maybe it was a thread about cash bars. From there I made a post asking kids at weddings, been hooked ever since. Glad I'm not alone on this one I felt like a loser for a while being here without being officially engaged, especially after a rude comment from one of the girls, but I'm much more comfortable about it now.

Megan - I completely understand. I don't think you're crazy for only being together in person for 2 weeks. When I met my guy, we talked via AIM for hours and hours before meeting in person, I knew him before I met him. We were both honest with each other and pretty open about ourselves, we hit it off immediately. Within weeks of dating, we were talking about marriage. 07/07/07 was a date we considered.

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"Oh also DKS I am Deaf so i can't hear on phone or I am sure he would propose on phone"

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I had forgotten that you two had a LDR (I read that on another thread) and that he must have been away from you during the proposal. Either way, I wasn't judging the proposal at all, I think it makes a great story.

KF - I find what you're doing/going through perfectly normal. My other half unofficially proposed by telling me that he needed my ring size then we started talking dates of our wedding and before we knew it we had settled on a date and country to get married in - as far as I was concerned we were unofficially engaged - he formally proposed about a month after. KF sounds to me like you are engaged sweetie :-) and let me tell you even though you are expecting the actual ring when he does formally propose it will still feel as wonderful and as special - at least that was how it felt for me and I cried like a big baby :-).

Oh and Megan I think your story is so cute.

FH and I are unofficially engaged as well. We had dinner this past New Years Eve and he said that before the year was out we would be officially engaged. That sparked a convo where we decided to get engaged this summer. He told me to start planning so we would be prepared. But he's currently saving for a ring (he say's its coming any day now!) and we have an idea of what we want...just waiting for it to be official before we start putting down deposits and what not. I'm so glad this thread was posted because I've actually been wanting to ask this for awhile now.

Thanks for the support Marsha! He truly is! I was worried people would be judgmental about girls on here that were not having a wedding within a year of being engaged or that were not "officially" engaged.

I am glad this helped you Ava!

Hey all,

Wondering if anyone's reserved an e-mail address for their married name before they're engaged?

I'm so glad there's a thread for this & other people in the same boat. I've been with my man for over 2 years, we've been living together for over a year, and we're getting married in just over 11 months. But we aren't officially engaged. I'm pre-planning, and he is a little bit too (this morning, for instance, he asked how I'd wear my hair when we got married) and he's met my parents...

He wants to do the official asking when he's ready,and that's cool, but we're going to have a really short engagement when it's time, and I can't wait till 6 weeks out to plan.