Not Engaged Yet?

I'm recently engaged, but I started a profile before it was official

Hi KF. I'm not engaged yet, but my guy and I have been together for almost 5 1/2 years. We're "unofficially" engaged. I'm getting a leg up on the planning process because he's in the military and we don't know how much time we'll really have to plan. We might only have a few months notice. Since we don't have a date set, we can't book a venue or anything like that, but I'm basically trying to figure out the basics: what kind of dress I want, what my colors will be, meal ideas, cake ideas, decoration ideas, location ideas, stuff like that.

It's ok to look, but you don't want to scare him off! lol

I began to think about my wedding before I was engaged. Then I was told it's bad luck to plan before the engagement. So, I stopped. Really, nothing I had thought about before is included in my post-engagement plans. I'm very wishy-washy I definitely understand why dks is planning ahead though. Miltary makes it diffucult.

Scare him? Yes. Scare him off, no :p There's just so much that goes into planning, it's not a bad idea to get a leg up if you're in a stable relationship where marriage has been discussed seriously. I think meeting a guy on Saturday and signing up here on Sunday is a bit much LOL

I want to get married in San Diego and we're just praying that's where we're sent next. It's a possibility! Fingers crossed.

I wish I would have started planning before hand. I didn't start really planning untill we'd been engaged for about 4 months and everyone started asking me about locations and color schemes...when all I had was a date and nothing else they all called me crazy so I finally started planning. I've been engaged for right around a year but only planning for the past 6 months lol

I understand Military "makes it difficult", but what you don't want to do is add to the stress of military life, by pre-planning.

Some guys don't understand that your searching is just seeing what's out there. It's not a bad thing, it's just that this is one of the many ways we differ from men. My FH thought I was being too anxious about the wedding (and not focused enough on "marriage") when I was simply seeing what options there are. I "fell back", took all my bridal mags to work, DVR'ed the wedding shows to watch while he wasn't home and bookmarked sites like WW to visit on my iphone.

Months later, he proposed.

I'm so glad I chilled from the pre-plaaning. It drove me nuts at one point, looking at everything that's out there, and not having a ring yet. Even today, we are changing the date to I dunno what lol so I'm still not doing much planning.

(Of course... everything I thought about then, like 9-24-11 stated, is being included in our post - engagement plans)

I mean "is NOT being included*

We have discussed marriage and set a date for a few years in the future. He has asked me(to marry him) several times in the 2 years we have been together.. again last night actually! Just no ring yet until we are more financially stable to afford what we want. No discussion with the families yet since he wants to have an official proposal that he has all planned out already. I guess we are big planners! It is a good thing I am not superstitious- or I would be S.O.L!

Just wondering if I was the only one? :]

So DKS...you're moving across the country and not yet engaged? To each her own but I need a proposal to do all of that...sorry I'm just being honest here.

There was a recent post about a young lady who moved to two or three states with her BF, no proposal yet.

@Jess I too get asked about wedding planning (I think it's more about them being jealous and nosy, than concerned though) I simply say we are just enjoying being engaged right now.

For anyone to think being engaged for 4 months w/o a plan is silly, is silly themselves.

Why am I so chatty this morning? lol

@KF...he proposed. If you said yes, then that counts as being engaged!

@Ty I totally agree with you but I will say that I can be a bit of a slacker when it comes to stuff like that. We had set a date of 7/10/2010 and still hadn't done crap for planning by Christmas of 2009.

@ty I would consider it being engaged too! or at least thats what i like to tell myself :] HE also says we basically are but we are a young couple and we decided we will make an official announcement when he makes what he calls his "official" proposal.

*official to our families, that is

Ty - My guy actually WANTS me to pre-plan, to make things easier on both of us Find the best deals because financially, things are tough and I want to save my parents as much money as possible.

"you're moving across the country and not yet engaged? "

Correction: Moved. :p We're originally from Southern California, moved to Texas, now we're in Florida. San Diego is our dream place, I wouldn't be far from family either. Yeah, that was my post. I'm on the DL now though :p

K F - That is pretty much us too. He's asked me and has told me flat out we're going to get married, but it's not "official" with a ring and an announcement.

My grandparents were married 25 years before my g'ma got a diamond ring! Don't need a ring to make it "official."

@Nancy - good point! I'll admit, I was surfing a few wedding websites before we were officially engaged. FS and I were very upfront about marriage, we knew we wanted to be together forever and would get married in late 2010/2011 depending on when he popped the question. But we both wanted the proposal to be a surprise - and it was. My pre-planning was actually quite helpful and appreciated, I had sorted through 80 odd venues online, narrowed it down to three, FS and I looked at one and that was it! Now that the biggest things were out of the way, we've had a few months to sit back and relax before beginning the next planning phase.

@Ty- that's a whole different thread of dks' that we will pretend never happend lol. To each their own She never knows when he will or will not be leaving, so it's best for her to do some planning when he IS available, and she can talk to him every day and get his opinions on things. After so long, I don't he would be scared away.