No kids, casual dress, no heels and cash bar...

@MelissaHH LOL!!!!! that's a great analogy

Hi Kristina - Just host an afternoon cake and punch reception without a bar. That way you will be properly hosting your guests.

Hi Kristina! I know that you said most of your guests aren't tech-savvy, but a wedding website is the perfect place to put all of this information!!

No Kids: Address your wedding invitations to exactly who is invited so there's no room for confusion ("Mr. John and Mrs. Jane Doe", not "The Doe Family"). You can also include a line on your RSVP cards which indicates "we have ___ seats reserved in your honor", and you fill out the number. If anyone RSVPs for additional guests or to bring their children, simply follow up with them directly and say "due to budget and/or venue constraints, we won't be able to accommodate any additional guests"! It also helps to let both families know that the wedding is adults only, so they can help spread the word and field any questions!

Casual Dress - No problem! Your guests should be able to get a feel for the formality level of your wedding through your wedding invitation and by looking up your venue. If you create a wedding website you can also add a note about casual attire on there! I do have to say though, if I saw you were getting married at a country club I'd assume either cocktail or semi-formal attire, and I'd assume guys are required to wear a jacket and tie. If that is more formal than you're thinking then I'd have your family and wedding party help spread the word!

No Heels - Again, a wedding website would be the perfect place to add this information! Is it clear on your wedding invitation that the ceremony is on the green? I'd also have your family and wedding party help spread the word here, and if anyone asks you about attire I'd stress this point!

PPs have the etiquette covered. I just wanted to share my reaction to the OP:

You need a new venue in general. No heels isn't going to work. People are going to wear heels no matter how casual it is and you can't specify or dictate how people dress. If half of your family are truly alcoholics and the other half truly don't drink, you should have a small cake and punch reception. Though I'm pretty sure super conservatives usually drink champagne and wine, but.. rethink your venue and your reception. If people show up in heels are you going to ask them to remove their shoes?

I'm just here for the comments.

I went to a wedding over the summer that was on grass. The bride made sure to put it on the website and it definitely spread word of mouth. Everyone wore flats or a chunkier heel. It was fine.

On your main invitation or details card insert, note the type of dress code. This can also be mentioned on your wedding website. On our website, I created a page for our menu and mentioned the cash bar because it is tacky to mention that on your invites. FH and I wanted an open bar, but his family has not contributed and my family doesn't drink. As for heels on the green, look into Solemates, which are little plastic caps that go over the heel to prevent them from sinking into the green.

@mbean Actually cake and punch receptions don't have to have alcohol at all.. which is why they are usually suggested on here for those who are having church receptions etc and don't want alcohol. Yes you CAN have a bar at a cake and punch reception, but OP isn't having a bar so...

I've been an avid golfer for 20 years and worked in the industry for about 8.

No golf course would EVER hold an event on the green. You must be mistaken, so please re-check with your venue.

There is no tactful way to address a cash bar because it is tacky. Do you charge your guests at the door when they come over for dinner, too?

Address invites only to those invited. Do not mention the people who are not invited.

@Whitney a cash bar is tacky period. No matter where you mention it.

Hi Kristina,

You've already gotten lots of good advice. Hopefully by now you understand that it would be rude to mention that children are not invited on your invitations. It is also rude and unnecessary to state a dress code.

Cash bars are also quite rude and tacky. Perhaps someone else has already used this analogy, but it not, think of it like this: if you invited friends for dinner, would you charge them for their beer consumption? Your wedding is no different. When you invite guests, you're hosting them just as you would in your own home. You need to budget and plan accordingly so that you can fully host them. Some great suggestions to make your wedding more affordable are:

- reduce your guest list

- eliminate unnecessary spending on extras like limo, photo booth, flowers, and centerpieces

-host wine and beer only

-host a consumption bar (like a cash bar, except you pay at the end of the night for everyone).

Hope this helps!!

I was thinking the same, Boudreau.

I've never heard of a wedding on the green. This whole thing is just weird.

*sigh* And I was actually hoping that this was a clickbait post...

My ceremony was going to be on the beach so I had baskets with a sign for guests to put their shoes in.

@Boudreau, ditto! I'm not even 1/4 as experienced as you and my alarm bells were going off about "heels on the green." Anything but golf shoes on the green is a huge no-no.

ETA: Also ditto @Alyssa. To me, golf club wedding screams formal. I would definitely not assume casual dress.

@Whitney C, your advice is really poor. It isn't tacky to "mention" a cash bar on your invites. It's tacky to HAVE a cash bar to begin with. Also, entitlement much? "FH and I wanted an open bar, but his family hasn't contributed". What? It's your wedding. YOU PAY.

Your family "doesn't drink"? Ok....but his does and I'm sure many of your other guests do. Your family's disinterest in alcohol is not an excuse for poor hosting.

Kristina, please don't listen to her.

You can always include a little information card with your invites seeing as you do not have a website.

Nothing tasteful about a cash bar and you cant tell people how to dress. Let adults be adults and provide free alcohol.

Boudreau I viewed a venue where the ceremony was to be held on the green. They also stated no heels if I chose them. I later didn't, but yes I've heard this before.

OP: How about an open bar cocktail hour at the start of the reception? Most venues will offer a discount if the open bar ends after 1-2 hours. Then switch to a consumption bar or just offer wine and champagne to toast for the remainder of the evening.

Actually, he and I both don't really do alcohol. Any barbecues, parties or gathering we have our guests know we don't provide. We would have a completely dry wedding if it wasn't for extended family complaining about it. And I don't think it's being entitled if I have no interest in alcohol, but have to allow other adults access to it because they can't deal with out it for a single night. Also, I have no limo, the dj is a young kid just starting out, the photographer is a friend from high school and I'm doing my own flowers to cut costs... It's everything but the backyard.