No gifts?

View Quoted Comment I totally get that- I just don’t think it means someone doesn’t have a good character. Especially if these people are friends- they may not have a lot of money for gifts.. especially with this pandemic. They may not understand that gifts are expected. They also may be sending gifts later.

View Quoted Comment Lol my fiance is the same way! If I didn't take the lead when his brother got married he probably wouldn't have gotten a gift from us either.

Yeah I agree, that is tacky. It's an honor to be invited to a wedding and it's not like it's cheap. I agree with everyone else too though - don't say anything. People suck but don't let it get it to you. I'm not having a big wedding and I'm only inviting really close friends/family.

Were you wanting them to even just being a card saying "congrats"?
I mean I can see wanting a congrats, but a gift isn't required. Like the others have said "their presence is the gift".
I personally don't want gifts. I set up a registry because I know people will give gifts regardless. We already own a lot of what we want or need.

I am reading through previous comments.
I've never seen such a disagreement on this site.
Everyone was raised differently. It doesn't mean you were raised right or wrong. I grew up never ever thinking someone owes me anything. In my mind gifts are optional. I don't need anything from anyone but their love. And how I grew up it would be considered rude. But I'm not calling you rude or tacky, because we grew up different. But there is no "right" way to be raised. Everyone has a different upbringing.

We had some guests not give us anything, and some that gave us something way after the fact — couple mailed gifts, couple “I forgot to bring the card!!” gifts (and...oops, I’ve been that person), but also some... just plain no gifts at all. It’s a little disappointing...but I didn’t have a wedding to get presents, I had it to celebrate with loved ones. And though it’s the “right thing to do” especially how I was raised , it’s not a requirement. If I knew half my guestlist wouldn’t give a present , I’d still have invited them all. I’m glad they were there to celebrate with us. I also don’t know anyone’s deep personal financial situations so am in no place to judge— If any of my guests had a hidden financial burden I would hope that they DIDNT gift us anything! And then, the other side is, MANY of our guests traveled for our wedding— so they paid to get there and they paid for a hotel and it’s also important to consider that factor too.


2 years have passed and I know some people didn’t give us anything, but...I couldn’t tell you who. Because ultimately it didn’t matter. I let it go, moved on, and now it’s a non-issue.

I think most people have covered gifts shouldn't be expected and it's not a requirement, but I think gifts are part of etiquette when it comes to attending a wedding. I do know someone that expects about $150 from each person which would essentially cover the cost for their food. I don't believe you are expecting that.


I can also say I've been disappointed in a few of my FH friends when it comes to gifts. Last year he spent about $500 on wedding gifts and tux rental for one friends wedding. The same friend didn't even give us a card at our engagement party. Maybe they will get us something, but doubtful!
Try to stay optimistic 😊

The traditional etiquette is that guests have up to one year after the wedding to send their gift. See Emily Post.

Also- I was the person who forgot to give a gift for one wedding. They sent me a lovely thank you note for my presence at their event and how they were grateful for sharing the experience with me. It was very sweet, made me smile, and made me realize I had never sent the gift I had meant to send. So if you wanted to say something, that’s how I would do it, but give those folks a few months to the traditional year to maybe send a gift on their own.

View Quoted Comment They weren’t really friends to begin with, they’re close with my in laws. I told my MIL they didn’t get us anything, not even a card. Also they were rude to my parents at the wedding so yeah good riddance

I’m curious what someone who didn’t get you a gift is supposed to say in response to your “nice” question of whether the gift was lost? I guess they will say yes and feel compelled to send something? That seems terribly awkward and honestly even more tacky than not giving a gift in the first place.

Aww I'm sorry about that. I was brought up to also have a gift ready for any wedding I attend, so there's a part of me that would be offended. However, I think it would be best to leave it be.

Leave it be , because it was there presents at your union that matters the most not the gifts..
Plus you don’t know the reason behind it maybe they didn’t have it to give...

It’s definitely rude...I mean even if they werent going to give a gift they still couldve gotten you a card and written a note in there. And pretty much everyone can spare a $20 bill lol. But as a PP mentioned though maybe they just hit hard times due to the current state of the world so I’d give them the benefit of the doubt and not say anything

Leave it be because maybe they didn’t have enough money to get you something or a card

Hi Nicole, if it helps, we got married a little over a month ago and gifts are still rolling in! They may be delayed due to out of stock items or mail delays. I’m with you though, I was raised it is polite to provide a card of congratulations to the couple and even in my own financial hardships, I always gave a gift, even if it was very modest because I couldn’t afford much. I also agree it is not about the gift or money at all, just the principle. Even when I couldn’t afford a grand gift (would have loved to give one to the couple I came to support of course), a handmade card, homemade and thoughtful gift basket, or a picture frame are sweet gestures. ❤️ I agree with the other ladies, best not to say anything 🤫

I would be upset because I was taught to bring something weither it was money a card a giftcard or a gift... so I would expect the same but some aren't taught that...

One word; Covid.

I would definitely not say anything. First of all it is offensive and could ruin or damage relationships. Second with people getting laid off or furloughed or getting pay cuts they may not be able to afford a gift. Be grateful that you had a beautiful wedding and that you are now married to the love of your life!! Congratulations on your wedding!

While I too was taught to never go empty handed you have to realize we’re in the middle of a pandemic and some people could have reduced hours or lost their jobs completely. You don’t know how people are dealing with this world we’re living in right now. You should never expect anything.