No gifts?

I’m with you, I never go empty handed! I know most weddings I’ve attended could cost the bride and groom upwards of $100+ per plate. I wouldn’t dare to show up without a gift after they spent that kind of money to have me there. We have families coming to ours with 5/6 people per family, we will be paying $500+ for just that family to attend. I know gifts are “optional” but I also feel like it’s common sense. I would surely feel offended but, I wouldn’t say anything to them, not worth the awkward conversation.

Give without ever expecting anything in return. I don’t expect any of my guests to come with gifts, if they do I’ll be grateful, if they don’t I’ll still be grateful. Some people just might not have the time, money, or simply choose not to. But they are still showing up and sharing the most important day of your life with you because you matter to them.

I completely get what you are saying it seems strange but I wouldn't have the courage to ask people why they didn't bring a gift especially if I paid for their dinner and what not for the reception, the least they can give me is a small gift or card.

I almost have no words.
Gifts should NEVER be expected.. in life in general. I didnt read what everyone else said but Id probably delete this post out of embarrassment

View Quoted Comment I agree 100%.

View Quoted Comment I partially disagree. One can'thelp their feelings. In some families/cultures it's a HUGE no no to go to such an event without at least a card. However, I do agree that it's tacky to ask for an explanation.

So many guests travelled from out of town with airfare/hotel expenses. It was their presence and effort alone that was enough and more than appreciated especially during these times.

View Quoted Comment I have to agree. I don’t ever ever show up anywhere empty handed. My friends love me, because no matter what we are doing they know I’m bringing something. Even at my fiancé’s house I will show up with something. But to expect something in return is flabbergasting to me. I was raised not to expect others to be like me or do as I do, but you are still grateful for their presence and what they bring to your life in other ways. Tbh I’m not trying to be mean here, but I almost feel like your focus on it is kind of making you look bad. I think the graceful thing would have been to say “that’s too bad, but I’m still thankful for the blessings I did receive” and move on. I get that it sucks, believe me I know. I throw the best parties go all out cuz I loooovee that, and nobody has ever done that for me; but I never expect it and would never even think twice on it. But I’ll keep doing me. Just move on, keep doing you, what you do is what matters most. I wish you nothing but the best, and happily ever after.

A lot of people send gifts after the wedding too... I think technically you have a year to get the couple a gift. I wouldn't jump to even assuming they aren't giving you a gift. But if not, that'd be pretty inappropriate to address with them, especially given that it's a global pandemic and economic crisis and whatnot.

In the same realm, shoe on the other foot, I attended 2 weddings last September and sent the gifts through their registry a few weeks before wedding date. I have yet to receive a thank you from either bride and now that exactly a year has passed (isn't that the time frame for receiving gifts and thank yous???))...do I send an email saying, "Excuse me, did you ever receive the gift we sent you?". I would hate to think they thought we were cheap and didn't give them anything!🤷

View Quoted Comment So this is what my friend did and I thought it was a good Idea. Im also planing my wedding and I went to hers. I forgot to go in her website and get her a gift. So she texted my this ...


Hey Juli sorry to for the inconvenience our registre website was giving problems to some of my guest so just to wanted to check if we got what you guys send us.... in that moment I was omg I completely forgot to send her the present and I didn’t in that moment. If after that poeple don’t give you a gift is becomes they really don’t want too. I don’t think you should feel offended but at the same time don’t feel bad for feeling that way. You invite people and pay a lot of money for them to share the day with you a small gift is always expected.
I hope this help, I’m for sure will text people if they didn’t give us a gift, and you shouldn’t fell bad either if you want to do it. Just do it it a nice way because in my case I forgot and I’m sure some other people too.
I hope this is helpful ❤️

Nowadays, considering all the problems with the Post Office, I would definitely see if I could work my way around to other people that know that person to see if anybody could ask about it because if you don't send a thank you note and they sent something and it got lost or mislaid somewhere they might be upset that they didn't get a thank you and be unwilling to ask you about the thank you or if you like to gift... they might wanna know that you didn't get it especially if they put a check in an envelope and now it's lost and is gonna mess up their check book as it's never going to be cleared. I would definitely try to find out. You can always tell people that you just were worried that something might have gone astray and you wanted to make sure you thank them and if it didn't go astray and they didn't give a gift then you just say you're happy that they were there and that was the best gift of all was that they were at your wedding. Even if you don't mean it.