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nicole
Savvy September 2020

No gifts?

nicole , on September 16, 2020 at 8:53 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 113
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I just got married two weeks ago & we noticed a handful of people didn’t give a card/gift. Should I feel offended? Because I definitely do! I’m not trying to be greedy whatsoever.. but I NEVER go to a wedding empty handed. At this point, it’s not about the gift or money, it’s the principal. Do you say/ask anything to those guests or just leave it be?

113 Comments

Latest activity by Janet, on September 22, 2020 at 4:49 PM
  • Melle
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
    • Flag
    I had people definitely not give me anything. It is what it is aha, their presence there is supposed to be the gift
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  • Kimberly
    Super March 2021
    Kimberly ·
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    You leave it be and never expect a gift from anyone.
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  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
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    Gifts are completely optional and you have no reason to be mad. I’m not sure what you’d say to them “hi I’m mad you didn’t get me a gift.”
    • Reply
  • Shirley
    Expert November 2020
    Shirley ·
    • Flag
    Adding to what others have said, people also have a year to give a gift. Some might be late to the game.
    • Reply
  • Lisa
    Rockstar July 2022
    Lisa ·
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    I wouldn't say anything. Gifts should never be expected. I agree that I personally don't go to weddings empty handed, and giving gifts is definitely a kind thing to do, but I wouldn't expect gifts at my own wedding. The way that I look at it is, I invite my friends/family to be my guests at my wedding and to celebrate with me, they do not owe me a gift or anything in return. Their attendance at my wedding is enough of a gift in my eyes.
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  • Hannah
    Rockstar July 2019
    Hannah ·
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    This 100%. While I would never go to a wedding empty handed, it is not a requirement for attendance. I would just try to let it go and move on. There really isn't a polite way to bring it up to them.
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  • nicole
    Savvy September 2020
    nicole ·
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    Not exactly. In my opinion it’s tacky.
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  • nicole
    Savvy September 2020
    nicole ·
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    Definitely Can understand this! Thank you. I was just always taught to give a gift, & I’m always more than generous. So I guess I was just caught off guard
    • Reply
  • mrswinteriscoming
    Rockstar December 2021
    mrswinteriscoming ·
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    There is no requirement to give a gift BUT I think it is an etiquette faux pas. I do not go to weddings empty handed and I certainly would be offended just the same if someone didn't give a gift. I also don't believe the 'one year to gift' rule - if you attend a wedding, you give the gift at the wedding, or afterwards if you can't make it and choose to give a gift anyway.

    There is no polite way to address it though. Call me petty but I'm the type who if I don't receive a gift, I will not give a gift back. You can't call people out on it but a taste of their own medicine I will do.

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  • nicole
    Savvy September 2020
    nicole ·
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    100% agree with this. Thank you!
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  • K
    Devoted October 2021
    Kristen Online ·
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    Yes, very possible. My FH and I split gift responsibilities based on whose friend is having the wedding - I was appalled when I learned he once sent a gift weeks after we attended! So yeah, some people really believe the “up to a year” tradition...
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  • Jessica
    Rockstar September 2020
    Jessica ·
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    We definitely had several guests who didn’t give us cards either, mainly my family 🤷‍♀️. I feel slightly offended that my grandmother who went above and beyond for my cousins didn’t even give me a card, but it is what it is. I understand how you feel, but I’d just leave it.


    The last wedding we went to I forgot the card at home and I felt terrible! I mailed it to them the next day with an apology, which I’m sure they laughed at.
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  • Kristen
    Rockstar November 2020
    Kristen ·
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    Everyone is different in the gift department but gifts are always optional. I have friends that for celebrations they don't give a gift, some friends just give a card, and some friends do give a gift. For some usually their presence is what they contribute. Trust me not everyone is into giving gifts. As others have said technically your reception is the gift to them. Your allowed to be annoyed but you shouldn't hold it against them and definitely say nothing. I feel they would not take it well. If I didn't give someone a gift (I am like you where I airways do too) and they said something to me I wouldn't think kindly of them. I think just let it go. Not wish being upset over. You get to start your life as someone s wife and that's awesome.
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  • nicole
    Savvy September 2020
    nicole ·
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    Totally understand. I was just never taught that way - I think that’s why I’m offended. It is what it is, but I just don’t agree with it
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  • nicole
    Savvy September 2020
    nicole ·
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    Ugh That’s weird.. I’ve never heard of the one year rule lol
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  • Eyonna
    Devoted May 2021
    Eyonna ·
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    I would feel offended because I don't go to weddings empty handed either but at the same time, a gift isn't expected. Like others have said, there is no easy way to address it, so I would let it go and move on. FH and I had this discussion and have accepted that we will get back whatever God has planned for us to get back. Celebrating with family and friends is gift enough.

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  • nicole
    Savvy September 2020
    nicole ·
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    It’s really not about the money.. it’s just the principal. I’m more offended bc I’ve always been taught that you never go to a wedding empty handed. It’s just not right in my opinion.i don’t care if it’s $25! But yes I do agree with you..
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  • nicole
    Savvy September 2020
    nicole ·
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    Agree. It’s not about the money. It’s just the “right” & “respectful” thing to do.. in my opinion at least..
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  • K
    Expert October 2020
    Katie ·
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    I am one that will always give a gift and I actually have even gifted for a wedding I was not invited to but knew the bride well.


    Please also keep in mind our current economical situation and that they may not have had the money to be able to buy a gift. Also, maybe read some of the cards as they may have went in with other family members. My mom and I do that for weddings and birthdays and it is sometimes over looked even though we put all of our names on the card.
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  • nicole
    Savvy September 2020
    nicole ·
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    Trust me I have! It’s mainly friends, so I guess it’s to be expected. Like I’ve said in other replies, I was always taught to bring something, no matter the cost. It’s just respectful..
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