No gifts?

We had people show up empty handed as well... $250/plate, ughhh! We were kind of hoping to receive at least half from each person lol but nowhere near that. We also had a couple people show up to my bridal shower empty handed...
I would never... I read somewhere you are supposed to give as much as your plate cost minimum...but not everyone is able to give I guess. I would never bring it up to them though.

View Quoted Comment Wow!! Yes I just don’t understand how you can do that & not feel bad or “wrong”..?? That’s just me I guess

View Quoted Comment I feel you!
Every bridal / baby shower I attend is a minimum $75 gift / money... so when it came down to my bridal shower in March, I was shocked people showed up empty handed! 😆 I won’t change my character though just because they didn’t get me anything. I was salty at first.

You have every right to be mad I would be upset too but I wouldn’t address the issue. I was taught to never come empty handed anywhere even if it’s a small bbq party always bring something let alone a wedding or a birthday party

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Completely get you. I was taught the same values. Maybe others don't know or understand. We will never know the reason and we shouldn't ask them.

Congratulations! I hope that you had a beautiful wedding.

If my mom found out that I didn't bring a gift/card to a wedding she would lecture me about etiquette (never had that etiquette lecture but, have had some about how important thank you notes are ). However, my FH has learned a lot about etiquette through our wedding process (he's family doesn't really care).

I'm sorry that you were left disappointed. I wish I had a good answer but sadly I think the only thing you can do is drop it.

Wedding presents are not now, and never have been, a requirement. So you say nothing. But they are customary, and you are allowed to think evil thoughts. Which you will have to take back if a gift is delivered in the next 4-6 weeks. Since the custom is to send them before the wedding or immediately after the return from the honeymoon, not bring them to the wedding.

View Quoted Comment That is bogus. You are not covering the cost of your plate. Hosts may spent a lot or a little for " the cost of the plate" and it has nothing to do with the gift. But the gift should be of a value that the giver would expect , according to how close they are to the couple, and their own budget. This means that dates of your friends and relatives bring nothing, or a token hostess type gift. While your nearest and dearest send a substantial gift.

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Funny enough I've never heard of that custom? Maybe it's different where I am from but here it is particularly odd to not bring a gift to the reception.

The only exception I've ever seen is if the gift is physically quite large in which instance arrangements are made to drop the gift off in advance (or sometimes just after the wedding).

View Quoted Comment Exactly! It’s not the money, it’s the principal. I just don’t get it

View Quoted Comment Yes! People commenting that I shouldn’t expect a gift just seems odd & not “right”.. I was never raised that way, it just shocks me

I agree. In my culture (Russian-Australian) it is very, very frowned upon not to give a gift, whether it be a birthday, baby shower, wedding etc, and delivered at the event itself. I personally love gift giving and take pride in it.

I never used to be as petty as I was about reciprocal gifts until I met a (now former) friend of mine. She was notorious for either not giving a gift, or giving terrible (birthday) gifts. She would come empty handed and then once or twice would give a used item of hers (her own socks - no joke) and then would get quite upset when people didn't give her birthday gifts... I wonder why lol.

View Quoted Comment Never knew that! We give a lot no matter who it is! Maybe I can save some money now 😂 Thank you!!

Leave it be. Send a thank you for attending. Gifts are always optional.

Leave it be girl! If you ask invite people over to a gathering at your house do you tell them they have to bring a gift?

It’s completely tacky for them to come and not even give you a written card or anything, let alone no gift. That’s disappointing and uncomfortable! It says more about them than you though, so I would just let it be.

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A bit of a difference though between a low-key gathering and a wedding?!

We would never consider not sending/bringing a gift for a wedding. If I buy something from the registry I always have it delivered before the wedding, and if we're giving a check I usually send it in a card ahead of time, too (one less thing for the B&G/their family need to worry about the day of). On rare occasions, we bring a card/check to the wedding. So, daughter was surprised that a few of her and SIL's wedding guests did not bring a card and/or gift. A gift is not required, but is certainly conventional US wedding etiquette. However, I'm nearly sure those who didn't bring a gift or card were SIL and daughter's 20-something friends. I'm not sure if it was a lack of awareness of gift-giving conventions, financial, or something else. Daughter wasn't shocked by the friends who didn't give them a gift, but they were lucky in that their guests who gave them gifts were incredibly thoughtful and generous.

Leave it be but you’re right it’s very odd. Not that we expected gifts for our local reception but we did provide open bar, plated dinner, dessert, live band and received very few gifts. But I’ve read that has happened to several couples here. I couldn’t imagine even when money has been tight going to a wedding or reception (or any party celebrating a birthday or anniversary or other occasion) without at least bringing a card or small gift.

View Quoted Comment This! We were just glad people still showed up to our wedding. There were a few who it doesn't seem like did a gift or card, but I personally know this year a lot of people have lost jobs or income or had unexpected expenses pop up.


One of our close friends thought she would be able to come and RSVP'd yes, but her bar has been closed for about 6 months at this point and it just ended up even being out of the budget to drive up. We ended up sending *her* $200.
OP - You invited people you love to your wedding, right? Then love them.