Need Advice: Honeyfund or no Honeyfund?

Patricia, I've spent more time than I wanted trying to explain why asking for money is rude. You have your mind made up, it seems. You want to be validated that this is a great idea. its not. I'm not stopping you, go for it. I don't care at all what you do.

For others, you might want to search for other threads on this subject. Also take a look at the "are you new here?" threads. Those will help you not make an ass of yourself here. There are a lot of new posters here right now, so the threads were made for just this type of subject.

If a couple actually goes to honeyfund and sets it up themselves, they can choose what the "experiences" are. Yes they have templates already set up, but if a couple really wants to personalize the experience for their guests, they will go in and make the adjustments. You can personalize a honeyfund which is just like setting up a registry. You go in and pick and choose what you want. You set up the amounts that guests can contribute for each "experience" or you can even set up an item that a guest can donate whatever they feel comfortable with.

I am heading to bed soon but I would just like to say that before you try to explain something to someone and tell them how wrong it is, maybe you should actually look into it and understand the concept before you rattle off incorrect information about it.

And honestly I could care less if a couple used a honeyfund or not but what really bothers me is the way people have been attacked on this site for saying they were even thinking about it. This site is supposed to be a forum where you can get helpful advice about planning for your wedding but after reading some of the posts I would NEVER ask for any advice from the mean, rude, condescending comments I have read. For those who are going through wedding planning for the first time they are already nervous and sensitive about it but to come post a question on WW and get called stupid/rude/greedy and a host of other inappropriate things is just horrible! I am sure that some people have thick skin and can take the abuse I have seen on some posts on WW but not everyone does.

So I'm going to let this go but just stop and think for a second the next time you want to call someone dumb for asking a simple question. And remember everybody has the right to an opinion. That doesn't mean its the right or wrong answer. It's just an opinion!

Good night.

@Patricia,

A. Didn't call you dumb.

B. I've seen the Honeyfund website. They don't book the tours, it's just a cheque.

C. People aren't rude/condescending, they're just not agreeing with you.

@Jacks for the win.

I'm not having a registry because our wedding is in Ohio and we are living in Alaska. (so we can't transport stuff easily)

We literally have bare essentials because It's just been FH living up there. We need a lot of things, but I'm not asking for anything and definitely not a honeyfund or gofundme.

People will give if they want to.

Read the new user post...hot topic. I would say no!

The bishes have it covered, I just want to add... If you say you "could care less" that means you have room to care about something!! Get the fucking phrasing correct or else it defeats the purpose of the point you're trying to make. "I COULDN'T care less" is the proper term.

H and I had been living together prior to marriage, and we did/do have an established household.

We still made a registry. Two, in fact (Target and Amazon).

We made a registry of upgrades, fun stuff, and things that we couldn't afford to buy for ourselves/things that we saw as frivolous.

Never did we ask for our loved ones to pay for our vacation.

Guess what? Adults can figure out how to put cash or check in a card and by doing so, you will get 100% of the gift they are giving you! Then you can use the money on your honeymoon, like DH and I did with about half of our monetary gifts. And we did all of this without setting up a honeyfund online. Amazing how that works!

We do people think that couples are registering for 'crap they'll never use'?? That's the only comment I want to touch in this thread

How does this question keep appearing???

Oh Wonder Woman, you have so much to learn still. Stick around, you'll find the insanity of these terrible questions comes to be a comfort after a while lol. Days without them just don't feel right.

I love when people make hypotheticals just to be difficult because they want to twist the situation where they make the other person concede to their viewpoint.

@Autumn- I think tons of people register for crap they'll never use. Ice cream maker? Yeah I'm sorry but majority of people will use it once or twice a year. I have one that we used once. Now it's down in my kitchen gadget cemetery with my food dehydrator and kitchen aid. Lol!

@Patricia, there a quite a few sites similar to honeyfund, such as wishingwell that charges 7.5% fee. So yes, some do go quite high. Also, if you dont need anything for your home just say that. "Thank you for asking, but we haven't set up a registry as there is nothing that we need for our home." What adult would honestly keep pestering you after that. They either wont bring a gift or give you cash. Also, most adults know how to give money without being asked. But if you honestly have *everything* that you need in your home, than shouldnt really need either (gift or cash).

@Patricia: Before you try to school others about what a Honeyfund, I suggest going to their site and learning what it actually is. Just because you can set up your own custom "experiences" (which tells me you probably have one set up, since you're getting so butthurt over this...), at the end of the day you are still lying to your guests, because they still just give you money with a cut taken out of it.

To both you and @Samantha: There is a really cool new way to give people money for a gift. I don't know if you've heard of it: it's called putting cash or check into a card. The recipient gets slammed with zero fees (assuming they have a bank account to cash the check with), and you aren't being misled as to what you're giving them! Win-win!

It amazes me that people think it's not only appropriate, but perfectly okay, to beg for money at an expensive, luxurious, superfluous party they are spending thousands of dollars for. Why not just shake a tin cup in your guests' faces? It's literally the same thing in a different form. You wouldn't do that though, because it would be offensive and gross. The same applies to a Honeyfund. If you don't want physical gifts, don't fucking register. A registry isn't even for the wedding, it's for showers. So really, if you have EVERYTHING and need NOTHING, you shouldn't be having a shower, and thus shouldn't be registered ANYWHERE, period. Not Kohls, not BBB, not Honeyfund. When there's no registry, guests who aren't total morons can figure out that you want cash, and will generally give accordingly. Those who won't, well, they're the ones who think people need the obvious pointed out for them anyway...

No! Its tacky and rude to aks guest to pay for your vacation.

As long as you have an open soda bar, it should be fine!

I say just put a deposit slip in your invites; I mean why be genteel about it?

There is nothing easier than putting some bills in a card. Every adult can do it.

Honeyfunds take a fee. The fact that they have a cute name doesn't make them any better.

They are advertised on the Not and ww is because, SURPRISE, they advertise here.

Make a small registry and be thankful if anyone gives you anything. You realize that's not the point, right?

Oh lawdy!!! Lurk people...please lurk.