My friend got engaged after me.

If you're upset that she's expecting you to help and you have too much going on, just tell her you won't be a bridesmaid. "No" is a complete sentence. You need to chill, and being her bridesmaid is not going to help you do that.

@OP, you already know what's going to be going on in your life during December of 2018?

@Brittany - No one is being mean. You asked if you were being Bridezilla and people responded. As far as helping with her wedding, just like everyone else, you aren't expected to do anything other than show up for the day in the dress she asked. If you don't want to/can't do that because of other events, then just say no.

OP I have learned, with so many things during the wedding planning process, to not discuss too many wedding details with a few people, for different reasons. I understand why you feel bummed but focus on yours and yours alone it will be fantastic!

We aren't trying to be mean but you asked if you were wrong and we are answering your question. You can definitely vent and be upset but need to realize that you are being unfair to your friend. Not wanting to be in her wedding because it is so close to yours makes sense but you shouldn't feel that she is being disrespectful by getting married months before you do.

Take it as a compliment if someone wants to do the same theme. If it really gets to you don't be in their wedding

The only thing required of a bridesmaid is to buy the dress and show up on time to the wedding. Obviously you do not consider this friend to be a "close friend" because the way you are acting proves otherwise. I am so jealous of people who know exactly what will be going on in their lives 12 months in advance! My life can change with every PET scan.

Well usually people who are friends share the same interests, so the themes being similar doesnt surprise me. This all seems immature though. You dont need to help anyone plan their wedding.

Remember, the only thing a bridesmaid needs to do is show up wearing the dress and stand with the bridal party. You don't need to "Helo with her wedding". I would communicate my feelings to her, let her know you're disappointed, as you already have, and either politely decline, or accept and let it go.

I have a feeling you'd be just as upset if she didn't ask you to be a bridesmaid.

Put it all aside and declare a moratorium on wedding talk around each other. You may find the closer you get to your dates that it's a relief to have someone you have 100% agreed not to talk about weddings with.

"Am I being a bridezilla?"

"Yes"

"OMG you guys are so mean"

I don't think the date is an issue - to be upset about that would be over the top, in my opinion. It's quite far from yours and many people (my mother, for example) believe engagements should be short unless there are extenuating circumstances preventing the marriage. It wouldn't be fair for you to expect her to wait until after you, and the date aren't even close!

Which reminds me of one of my friends' wedding. Her and her BFF were getting married on the same weekend - my friend split her ceremony and reception, leaving a day (Saturday) between them so they could attend each other's weddings!

As for the theme, I get it. If you're in certain parts of the south, a rustic theme is a given. But there are colors and venues and such that make all the difference so weddings don't come out looking exactly the same. But I feel like roaring 20s is a bit too specific and being copied is the worst, thought there's nothing you can do about it now. Either way, at least now you know to stay tight-lipped about your plans around her.

Fun fact: people get engaged every day! Congratulations to your friend.

However I do understand your frustration, but you can't change anything with her wedding. What you can do is change what's going on with yours if it bothers you that much. Otherwise, you'll need to move on from it.

Yep bridezilla, people pull off the same theme differently. Just don't share any ideas you have for your wedding. It will work out I promise =)

You have a great excuse as to not be in her wedding , your busy planning your own , end of discussion!!

.

Maybe this is just me, but I think I'd be super thrilled if my bestie decided to get married and have the same theme as me. Imitation is the highest form of flattery. Besides, it would give me a chance to see what looked good and what flopped before my own wedding. And I wouldn't hesitate to ask her if I could borrow any stuff she had that I wanted. We could shop for wedding ideas together! But my circle of best friends is incredibly small. You have to work for years to meet my criteria of a "best" friend, and by that point we are practically sistas from anotha mista. We are super tight.

And if she wasn't my bestie and copied my wedding, I wouldn't care. Again, I'd use it as an opportunity to see what works and what doesn't. Then I'd build my wedding bigger, Stronger, FASTER! You get the idea.

So try to see it in a different light. She may be doing this because she loves how fashion forward you are and wants to be that bold. Take it as a compliment. And if all else fails, use it as a "test run" for your wedding to help you plan better.

Yes you are wrong. Period. This sounds very selfish of you.

You get one day. She gets one day. Wedding planning isn't a full time job and neither of you have to help plan each other's weddings. What's with folks thinking wedding planning is a community event?

And don't ask if you're being a bridezilla if you can't handle the truth.

Total Bridezilla

Like others I suggest you don't share your wedding plans with other people if you are worried they might copy them. I understand your frustration but everyone is allowed their own thoughts and theme. If she doesn't know all of your details, hers won't look anything like yours.