Angela Marie
Master May 2014

Married Ladies - Are you still friends with all your BM's?

Angela Marie, on August 24, 2015 at 11:49 PM Posted in Community Conversations 0 46
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I had a massive falling out with my MOH and 1 BM.

Has anyone lost a BM / MOH during the wedding planning or after the wedding was over?

46 Comments

  • Dreamer
    Master May 2013
    Dreamer ·
    • Flag

    1 friend was a "maybe" to ask to be a bridesmaid. We had been drifting apart a bit, but I still asked her and we all had a great time with the wedding events/activities. We did drift apart, but as a married woman, most of our closer friends are married or at least long-term couples. She's happily free and single.

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  • Happy In Hawaii
    Master July 2015
    Happy In Hawaii ·
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    Well there was my whole story with the "Messiah Baby" where my bridesmaid thought her child was practically the next messiah and there were tons of issues (I've posted about them on here before but don't really feel like repeating). In the end things got better but she was no longer a bridesmaid and she didn't come to the wedding. Another one of my bridesmaids was great and all...but she didn't give any kind of gift and I've been taught that the closer you are to someone the bigger the gift you get. She obviously didn't follow the same logic. It was kind of out of character because usually we exchange gifts at Christmas and everything. I am not mad at her or anything...just sort of thought we were closer. But hey, if she gets married and I'm in her wedding at least I don't have to get her anything!

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  • 2d Bride
    Champion October 2009
    2d Bride ·
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    I am. But then again, our two attendants were my son and daughter.

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  • Natalie
    Master May 2015
    Natalie ·
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    I'm still friends with my bridesmaids and my mob was my sister. I didn't really have any drama during planning. But one of my bridesmaids used to work with me and we would hang out everyday, she switched jobs so we aren't as close now because we don't see each other that often.

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  • Nikki
    Master July 2015
    Nikki ·
    • Flag

    I didn't have any drama during wedding planning with my BM/MOH. I still talk to all six girls on a weekly basis.

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  • FuturemrsDickinson
    VIP July 2015
    FuturemrsDickinson ·
    • Flag

    Sorry to hear about that OP. I've been married a month (today! Eeek!) but my BM's are all my best friends, so we are still great.

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  • R
    VIP October 2015
    RhnCasi419 ·
    • Flag

    Was the falling out directly related to wedding stuff? It says you were married a while ago? Did this just happen, or was it a while ago that the falling out occurred?

    I am not married yet, but very close to being married, and have planned a wedding for the past year and a half. I will say that so far my wedding has stirred up just a little drama with the bm's. One girl who I was friends with for about 5 years dropped out early on, she couldn't pay for her attire and was jobless and had other life issues. She got really weird with me (I think she expected me to pay for her dress) and caused drama and trouble and I flat out told her I couldn't be friends with her anymore. We had already had friendship issues though even before I got engaged, so I wouldn't even say it was wedding related, the wedding was just the last straw with us. Then I have this other bridesmaid who still is afraid to tell me (she tells my MOH) that she doesn't want to be in the wedding anymore because she is too self-conscious of her overweight body in front of my 100 guests ... but we are still talking, I love her dearly, she has always had self-esteem issues. My MOH is more envious of my relationship with FH (because, well, he is a darling and treats me like fine china) she got divorced when I got engaged, now she has a new man in her life who is controlling and I think borderline abusive. But we still talk every day. I just ignore her subtle envious comments about me and FH ... I know deep down she is happy for me, she just wishes she could have the same relationship. I will say she isn't as involved as I had hoped she would be. But that doesn't bother me and I never push her or stuff wedding things down her throat when we are talking. I try to tread carefully. Right now, I am a little pissed off though that she hasn't had the common courtesy to reply to a text I sent her yesterday about rehearsal date and time that the venue has contacted me about. Our best man has already said he is available and would clear the date and time. Nothing from her yet. That bothers me a little. But I will never let it get to me. It is my wedding. I am not expecting much out of anybody.

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  • .
    Master October 2013
    .... ·
    • Flag

    Yes. One not as close because she chooses to spend her time a different way than I do, but we're still friends. Just limited as to when/how we spend time together.

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  • Jennifer
    VIP July 2016
    Jennifer ·
    • Flag

    I'm still good friends with both my BMs from my first wedding, back in 1998. My MoH was my sister, and we're still close. Not geographically close, since we were all in the military, but I'm inviting them to my upcoming nuptuals.

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  • DeniseD
    Master May 2015
    DeniseD ·
    • Flag

    My one BM and I had been friends for almost 30 years, but we have slowly been drifting apart (she has a lot of issues, talking to her is like talking to a 14 year old trapped in a 40 year old's body). I have lost all my patience helping her deal with her drama. She is an energy vampire.

    My MOH, on the other hand, probably not. We were college roommates, fraternity sisters and work in the same company. The rest of my bridal party was my SIL and my 4 new nieces.

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  • OG FMP
    Master August 2015
    OG FMP ·
    • Flag

    We didn't have any drama at all. My BMs and I are very close, I love those girls. 2 of them are my best friends for 20yrs, 2 are my sisters and 1 is my niece.

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  • Adoretamm
    Master May 2016
    Adoretamm ·
    • Flag

    I've lost 3 people I wanted in my bridal party. Two were my matron and maid of honor, my matron was my sister; she's still close to me but not coming to the wedding because her husband doesn't like our family. My maid of honor was my best friend from high school. We had a falling out to something non wedding related. Lastly was another friend from high school, I wanted her in my bridal party but she never responds to my messages. We never really fell out, I just think she doesn't wanna be bothered

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  • Lara
    Master July 2015
    Lara ·
    • Flag

    My BMs were my sister and my stepdaughter so all is well. Best of luck to you!

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  • Emmy
    Master January 2015
    Emmy ·
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    My matron of honor and brother got divorced so yep - but from wedding stuff absolutely not. I find it appalling that brides have such issues over wedding planning that they lose friends over it. Because 90% of the time it is the brides fault.

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  • Mrs. Nicole
    Master May 2016
    Mrs. Nicole ·
    • Flag

    I'm not married but my friend had a similar thing with her MOH.

    They were both pretty big party people and my friend kind of grew up. Her MOH was in an abusive relationship and has been doing drugs amongst other things so they just cut ties almost immediately after the wedding.

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  • Sarah195
    Master October 2016
    Sarah195 ·
    • Flag

    I haven't lost any friendships yet but I am a BM in a wedding labor day weekend and honestly after all of the shit she has pulled, her being ungrateful for everything, and her selfish attitude I will no longer go out of my way to speak to her or be friends after her wedding. I really don't care anymore. Some weddings really do ruin friendships and this is a prime example of that.

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  • FormerUser
    Master July 2015
    FormerUser ·
    • Flag

    Yes, because I didn't have any! ;-)

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  • MrsND
    Master November 2016
    MrsND ·
    • Flag

    I was MOH in a wedding and I can say that our friendship isn't the same anymore. IMO weddings can turn you into to a crazy person (sometimes). I thought it would pass but a year after the wedding, married life has put a strain on the relationship. I don't see anything wrong with wanting to care for your husband but I only get a call or she only wants to hang out when he's out of town. When I call her I feel like I'm bothering her. Just recently, we had plans to hang out because he was out of town again and then calls me last minute and says "change of plans he's back in town can I reschedule for another day". That was kind of last "Okay I'm over playing this game your really not that interested in this friendship anymore", so I'm kind of done. It happens a lot so I'll just keep my distance but still remain friendly.

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  • Original VC
    Master July 2015
    Original VC ·
    • Flag

    Kind of... though not because of the wedding. Last year I moved to a city over 1100 miles away from them, so we're kind of drifting apart. We're still friends but I've only heard from two of them after the wedding. I haven't talked to the other two, Facebook-meme-posting aside.

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  • Snarky
    Master September 2014
    Snarky ·
    • Flag

    Our wedding definitely caused tension between my husband and I and his family (his brothers were gm) that still exists today. We also lost 2 friends over how they acted at/leading up to our wedding.

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