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Just Said Yes September 2025

Last Name Dilemma

Mad, on September 5, 2024 at 11:58 PM Posted in Community Conversations 0 2

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Are you changing, hyphenating, or keeping your last name?

I’m in a bit of a dilemma and would love some perspective. I am very set on keeping my last name and my finance wants to keep his. The disagreement we are having is when it comes to kids in the future - he will not budge on his kids having any other last name except his, which I find unfair and do not want. I have brought up hyphenating our names for the kids and he says he doesn’t mind if I do so but wants the kids to only have his name.
Is anyone else having similar issues and any ideas on compromise or finding a solution?

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Latest activity by Andrea, on September 6, 2024 at 7:12 PM

Rockstar July 2022
Lisa · on September 6, 2024 at 3:27 PM
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Hyphenating the kids' last names is a fair compromise if you've both decided to each keep your own last names. I think this topic is something that couples counseling could help both of you navigate and come to an agreement on when the time comes.
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Super January 2024
Andrea · on September 6, 2024 at 7:12 PM
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I agree, this is a prime subject for premarital counseling. You need to come to an agreement you’re both okay with.

I got married in my 40s, so I’d built up a reputation at work, published, etc, I didn’t want to lose that, so I kept my name. I use his name socially sometimes. If we’d planned on kids, I would’ve gone the route several colleagues have and kept my maiden name at work, changed it otherwise. But I’ve never been super attached to my last name.
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Last Name Dilemma

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