Maid of Honor Nightmare!! Help! Bridal Shower planning gone so wrong!

Heeeere we go.

You're not owed a shower. You shouldn't have planned it yourself, and you definitely shouldn't have confronted her about it. Sorry, but you are in the wrong here.

You should not plan your own shower.

If your MOH or MOB/MOG throw you one, well, great.

You aren't entitled to a shower. And kicking your own sister out of your wedding is pretty disgraceful on your part. The only thing she is required to do, is show up on your wedding day in the dress

You must be a peach.

You don't plan your own shower and your not actually entitled to one. IF someone offers to host it for you it's up to them to plan.

You should never plan your own shower or Bach. parties. What do you mean when you say she signed up for it? Your bridal parties only responsibility is to show up at the wedding in a dress or suit depending. It is extremely ride to kick someone out of your bridal party and I wouldn't suggest it.

I just cannot get over people being so quick to "fire" not only their friends from being BM/MOH but their siblings!! Goodness. People need perspective.

I agree with Taylor (as will a bunch of other people on this forum). Also, if someone is not only your MOH, but your SISTER... call them! Why a "long text conversation"? So many things can be misunderstood via text – especially tone. It's not far fetched to assume your sister feels like you've been demanding. At this point, I'd call the shower a loss and just focus on the wedding day. And no, you should not remove her as MOH.

Ok.

1. Your shower is planned. Shouldn't have been done by you but, too late for that lecture.

2. You need to talk to your sister and figure out what is going on. After the wedding, the hurt will still be there. Relationships are more important than wedding aesthetics.

3. If your sister is "done" sounds like she removed herself from the role of MOH. Try focusing on repairing the relationship then you can figure out where to go from there.

Yep, you should not have made this an issue. IF someone graciously offers to throw you a shower, it is a nice gesture on their part, not an obligation. It would be like someone saying they were going to buy you a certain gift and never did and then you confronted them about it and got mad. You should apologize to her and rethink your expectations of your bridal party.

I think what she's saying is that her sister volunteered to throw the shower and then did nothing to throw her the shower. If this is the case I am sorry it's happening. You cannot however throw someone out of your BP, it's rude and she's your sister. You have to suck it up at this point and deal with it. As for the shower, I have no advice and am reminded as to why I refused having one.

ETA spelling

I think there may be a difference between her being entitled and rightfully frustrated...

OP, did you ask your MOH to throw your shower? Or did she volunteer and tell everyone, including your other family members, that she wanted to do it all and not to worry about it?

Because I agree a bride has no right to demand a shower or treat her MOH as free labor for planning and doing everything, but it seems like a different story if the MOH volunteered to plan and take on something like the shower and is now dropping the ball on something the whole family wanted to happen.

It sounds as if you told her to throw you a shower since you said she "signed up for it" and not offered. You are NOT entitled to a bridal shower and when she didn't plan one, you should have took that as her no longer offering to throw you one. You absolutely do not plan your own shower and it sounds like you need to focus less on your wedding more on your relationship with your sister.

@Abbey and Elizabeth but if that's the case then someone else could have stepped in and helped if they wanted to. It shouldn't have been the bride, and it definitely shouldn't have taken such an ugly turn.

I am still wondering about the signed up? I am picturing something like a potluck where you sign up to bring a dish, except its bridal shower, bachelorette Party, Glitter Slave.

Get over yourself.

@Taylor, I agree. I just said I would understand being frustrated and disappointed about it. I don't think you can kick someone out or make a bunch of demands. I think other family or the bridal party should get clear on if she's doing it (not just not answering the Bride's every request) and if not the family or BMs could step in.

Having the right to be disappointed and frustrated still doesn't entitle you to free labor and a shower.

You are wrong here. Sorry. You are not entitled to a shower and you should def not be planning your own shower. Showers are given to you by someone else they are not demanded to throw you one. I would back off- you owe your sister an apology...

I don't feel like I have enough information to make a judgement on this one.

Did she volunteer and book everything then stop doing anything? If people are invited, there needs to be something for them to eat, etc. so I can see stepping in if she's being terrible.

Those things can be expensive, and stressful to throw. I just threw a baby shower for a friend and it can be hundreds of dollars hosting people you don't even know. I'm sure it's the same for a bridal shower. I didn't even want a bridal shower. My sister is my MOH also, and I wouldn't expect her to throw me one. Some of my friends are doing a Bachelorette party. But that's more just hanging out with friends rather than hosting a lot of people and entertaining them. If you really want one, then hosting one yourself isn't terrible. It'll make it so you have it exactly how you want. Just remember, she's your sister. Siblings fight, no matter how old they are lol. Keep her as your MOH and just don't give her responsibilities or have expectations :-)

Super UO here, but I kind of disagree when people say that you can't be involved in planning your own shower. My mom would absolutely be upset if I didn't have a shower--I mean, it' s a commons social expectation that you'll be having one and all the aunts I have are looking forward to it--but no way would she handle planning it solo if it weren't for my MOH who is handling pretty much everything.

If my MOH had decided not to plan anything, I would absolutely get stuck with at least parts of planning the shower on my mom's behalf (she doesn't plan/do things). At least in my experience, it would be considered really bizarre to get married without having a bridal shower. I can't fault OP for wanting to have a bridal shower since it's such a common part of being a bride. I consider myself lucky I have a MOH who wants to do so much for me, it must be tough for someone whose MOH is less involved and doesn't do what she says she will.