Maid of Honor is ex-wife of Best Man..What do we do?

Ouch! That's tough. I would assume they know eachother's role in both you and your FH's lives as best friends. Maybe you should talk to your bf and FH should talk to his bf separately and then u and FH can decide based on the answers you get back. I think that's how I'd do it. I hope this helps. Good luck.

You coulld just not have the girls walk down with the guys. They guys could stand up front and the firls walk down solo. Then at least they won't have to link arms walking down an aisle together. Let them know when you ask them that you are a little concerned and ask them to be honest with you about whether they feel they would be able to do it. Really, besides photos and the walking part, the MOH/BM don't really have to spend any time together at the wedding.

I agree - I think you can be creative about how people walk in and out of the ceremony and reception together. And I would talk to them both and make sure they understand that if there is going to be drama, you are going to have to ask someone else. (like no bringing a date to the wedding). Other than that, like Michelle said they don't really have to do anything together or spend time together. Is it going to be a problem with the rest of the family? Like, if he is taking it hard, is the rest of your FHs family going to resent her?

They don't have to be paired up. I didn't even know that people actually have their BMs walk down together with the GM anymore lol. The solution to that is easy - don't have them walk down together. The GM can walk out first, followed by the BMs and they won't have to say a word to each other if they don't want to. As for changing your MOH because of him, I would not do so just for FH's brother's sake. He will have a year to mentally prepare for your wedding and he can put on his big boy pants and get over it.

And besides, even if you were to change your MOH, unless you plan on not having your best friend at your wedding at all (which I doubt) what difference is it going to make? They will still be in the same room at the same time and again, they won't have to speak to each other unless they choose to do so.

They don't have to be paired up. The wedding I was in last year they were, but the one I was in the other day we weren't.

You could just have one of your gm walk your moh down and than have the bm walk one of the bridesmaids down so that way they dont have to walk together..in my wedding coming up my moh is walking down with one of the gm which is he husband and our best man is walking down one of our bridesmaids and than when they get to the front they will stand where they need to stand...

I agree with the other ladies, don't change your MOH, get creative with how you can have your MOH and FH can have his BM without causing drama.

I think you need to put yourself in their shoes. IMO its a little selfish and I think a little naive to think that it won't be a problem. As a planning bride I would do whatever it takes to not create unwanted drama. The last thing you need is a jerky BIL ruining your special day. Even if he says he is okay with it. I'm sure their are other ways you could "honor" your best friend. Maybe have her read a poem?

I agree with the others, you don't have to pair them up. My bridesmaids are walking down with their corresponding groomsman, but my MOH is walking alone. The best man (FH's brother) will be up there next to him the entire time. I would talk to them about and let them both know about the other person's role and see how they react. However, I disagree with Jamie that it would be selfish to ask her. She's your best friend, being an MOH is not about "honoring" the person - its about wanting the person most important to you up there next to. Lots of people get divorced, you shouldn't have to choose someone else just because of that. Be sensitive about the situation, don't pair them up, but I think you can still ask her if its what you want. If not like they wouldn't both be at the wedding and run into each other anyways.

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Hmm... I would be honest with them both. Just tell her how you feel and she will hopefully be honest if she thinks that it will be an issue.

As someone else mentioned even having her at the wedding is likely to be an issue in itself

Question- does your FH really want his brother to be his BM? I mean you call him a major jerk- does your brother feel the same way? If they aren't close why make him a BM? Maybe then you can have her as your MOH and him just a GM. Otherwise, I would have a very serious discussion with your FH on his thoughts on this. It might offend your FH by even thinking this might work.

This is a very tough situation and I think everyone involved needs to have an honest discussion. Can they handle being in a church together again? Being in pictures together again? Is s/he going to be seething throughout the ceremony? If they can't do it (which I would understand, though I'd be disappointed my choice of MOH didn't work out), then it's up to you and FH to find a solution. Good luck!

I can see it both ways-- that of course it will be uncomfortable for them, but also that they'd be pretty hurt to not be included. So, talk to them. And I feel your pain. We'd already asked some friends to be in our wedding party when they got divorced-- OOPS1 They got through it perfectly amiably (this was mere months after their split) and, as far as I know, much happier to be included than they were uncomfortable to be in the same room again.

I would ask them if it'd be alright first. If they both say that they are uncomfortable with it, then get creative on how people walk down the aisle.