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Beutivant
Master May 2016

Latest (and longest?) intro EVER

Beutivant, on May 26, 2016 at 11:20 AM Posted in Planning 0 80
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This is incredibly long. I am not sure if anyone will take the time to read it, but as I started typing, I realized how therapeutic it is to write out all these thoughts and feelings. I never did an official intro. It took me several weeks to realize that was even a thing and then after that, I felt weird about officially introducing myself on a wedding forum since FH and I hadn't actually decided to go through with our big dream wedding. So I decided way back then that I would wait until we made our decision and then maybe do an official intro.

(Usually) I am an actor and FH is a stage manager. We met in 2009 when I flew from Philly to CO to do the musical RENT for a 12 week gig at a theater I had never worked at before. We started hanging out just in the groups as you do and then started hanging out a bit more and then about two and a half weeks before my contract was over, he kissed me. (Cont'd in comments)

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  • Beutivant
    Master May 2016
    Beutivant ·
    • Flag

    We hung out every hour until I left and decided we should try the long distance thing. I moved back to Philly and we did LD for a few months until I couldn't take it anymore. He got me a job in the box office at the theatre and flew out to meet my parents and then drove us back in my car. Much to my parents and friends' dismay, I was moving across the country for a guy I had been dating for four months, 3 1/2 of which had been long distance. I knew it was insane, but I knew he was the one pretty early and I went with my gut. We lived and worked together at that theatre in CO for the next 3 1/2 years. Then we moved to PA and worked at a theatre there for like 8 months. When this gig unexpectedly ended, we were in so much debt, completely broke and didn't know what to do or where to go. We decided to put our theatrical lives/careers on hold and focus on getting out of debt. We moved to Williamsburg, VA in May 2014 and used Dave Ramsey to turn our lives around. EVERY move we made was about getting out of debt. Between school loans and credit cards, together we were in just over $40K. We got a really cheap place to live and jobs that paid $9 hour and went to work. Over time, we kept looking for better paying jobs and we saved every penny. We allotted ourselves a very tiny amount of personal money every month. In November 2014, FH popped the question. Talk about shocked. We had been 100% sharing finances since the beginning of the year, which meant he had been pocketing that very small amount of personal money so he could surprise me with a proposal. We immediately started imagining the wedding of our dreams, knowing that we couldn't do ANYTHING until after we were out of debt. Realizing how long we would need to get out of debt and then to save for the wedding, we set our date for Memorial Day 2017. We slowly started planning while still working ridiculous hours sometimes going weeks without a day off. Fast forward to December 2015 when we paid off our last student loan and officially became debt free! WHOO-HOO. Yay us!

    Now it was decision time. Do we stay in VA and keep working and saving for the wedding or do we get back to our lives/careers? We missed theatre. We missed our friends. The last two years have been the hardest of my life. Nothing but work and no play and I have been an emotional mess. It was a hard life to commit to for the purpose of the wedding of our dreams. But man, did we want that wedding so badly. We decided to do the wedding and keep planning and saving. We didn't book anything but we had meeting after meeting with potential vendors. The more we planned, the more we knew we wanted to do it. But doing it, meant staying here and not pursuing theatre for even longer which was a huge sacrifice. For the last five months, we have gone back and forth 100 times deciding between the wedding of our dreams and leaving to start auditioning again. We finally decided that once and for all we would make our final decision THIS weekend. We took off work, and got a hotel room in Richmond, VA where one of our hotel blocks would be. We were going to be in the city we were to be married in one year later. It was going to be romantic and just the kick we needed to make the decision we both knew we wanted.

    Fast forward to last week when over half of FH's shift lost their job. It hit home for us. Some of those people had been there for over 15 years. And while we were on track to make enough money for the dream wedding, we realized that if anything happened to either one of our jobs, we would be on the hook for a wedding that we COULD NOT afford. So finally after a lot of tears and talks, we scrapped the whole thing. All the planning, all the meetings (and about $1000). Gone. SOOOO, we didn't know what to do this weekend. We had already taken off work. We should do something or go somewhere (obviously Richmond was no longer an option because that would just be incredibly depressing). We started thinking of where we can go instead. I remembered there is a UFC fight in Vegas on Sunday night that we were planning on watching from a bar anyway. So I suggested we go to Vegas and get tickets. FH eagerly agreed. Then I thought--well, if we are gonna go to Vegas....

    SOOOOOOO--we just decided to get married THIS Sunday in VEGAS. So we are still getting married on 5/29, just one year earlier. It's crazy. And insane. And last minute. But we will save ourselves tens of thousands of dollars, not be miserable for the next year and can start pursuing theatre again a lot sooner. We called our best friends from CO (the coolest couple in the world) and they dropped everything and are going to meet us there. His mom lives in England and it was too much for her to come. So no families are coming. My mom is actually OK with our decision because she knows how hard it's been for us and she wants us to get back into theatre again. The last 24 hours have been a whirlwind, but I swear I am at peace with this. We are so excited. I fucking love Vegas and we are going to have a blast. And in three days I get to marry the man that I have been madly in love with for almost 7 years. AND when we get back, I get to go on his insurance plan! Smiley smile

    Thank you to anyone who is still reading. I really didn't expect it to be this long, but there is obviously some shit I need to get off my chest. OMG. I am freaking out. We haven't told anyone except his Mom, my parents and sister and the people who are meeting us out there. His Dad and sisters and the rest of my family and all our friends will find out when we get back. So it nice to be able to confess it here. I realize eloping isn't for everyone and most of you probably think we are insane, but I gotta say, if you knew us, THIS (eloping in Vegas and then immediately going to a UFC fight) is so much more "us" than the fancy $50K wedding we were planning. SO. MUCH. TO. DO.

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  • Kimi
    Master August 2016
    Kimi ·
    • Flag

    I am glad it's all working out for you!

    I didn't know you were so close. I'm in Hampton. I'm planning on doing a WW social in July (when I take a break from school). If you are still in the area, would LOVE for you to come.

    • Reply
  • OGMary
    VIP October 2016
    OGMary ·
    • Flag

    Congratulations! How exciting. I'm so glad you are doing things the way you want to, and being smart about everything. It takes a lot to make that decision and it sounds like it is going to be amazing!

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  • Cryst'l
    Super November 2017
    Cryst'l ·
    • Flag

    Heyyyyyy (to both of you) Smiley smile I'm in Newport News! We were in Williamsburg for a year, but moved near Ft. Eustis to be closer to FH'S work.

    I would love to come to a social in July if I'm here (we are going to be OOT for a week in mid-July).

    OP: Eloping is a big decision, but financially it is a sound decision. If the finances, stress and other logistics aren't working out, why go through all of that just for one day? Making decisions like this are never easy, but you have the rest of your lives to think about and is it really necessary to set yourself back for a dream wedding...especially when you guys are also ok with the idea of eloping....

    Keep doing you and what you feel is the best decision for your situation and family and friends are going to support you and love you no matter what. And if they don't, well...fuck 'em Smiley smile

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  • OG Sarah
    Master September 2017
    OG Sarah ·
    • Flag

    Beaut- WOOHOOO! That's so exciting- 3 days away! I loved reading about you and FH and getting to know you better. Please come back and do a BAM!

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  • Beutivant
    Master May 2016
    Beutivant ·
    • Flag

    Thanks, ladies. And I would LOVE to do a social. That is if married ladies are still allowed! I know married types aren't welcome around these parts. :o)

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  • FreshToDeathAng
    Master September 2016
    FreshToDeathAng ·
    • Flag

    OMG I love this story! Congratulations on getting married THIS weekend! Be sure to share some pics if someone can snap some! So happy for you!

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  • Beutivant
    Master May 2016
    Beutivant ·
    • Flag

    Oh, I'll be BAMing it up hard in just a few days. The perks of not having a professional photographer: no waiting! Haha.

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  • OG Dianna
    Master March 2017
    OG Dianna ·
    • Flag

    Ah so exciting that you'll be married this weekend!! I can't wait to see your bam. Happy it's all working out for you :-)

    • Reply
  • Caroline
    VIP September 2016
    Caroline ·
    • Flag

    Wow! That is an awesome story. Congrats to both of you!!!

    • Reply
  • melanie
    Master August 2017
    melanie ·
    • Flag

    Congrats! It sounds like you guys made the right choice and you must be so excited!!! Make sure to post your BAM as soon as you can!! and enjoy every second!!

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  • Beutivant
    Master May 2016
    Beutivant ·
    • Flag

    Thanks for reading guys. Really. Means a lot. My office is supplying lunch today, so I gotta disappear for a bit. But I really do thank you all for your well wishes!

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  • Lindsay Varner
    June 2020
    Lindsay Varner ·
    • Flag

    Props to both of you for realizing the importance of getting out of debt even if it meant not working the kind of job you would have preferred for awhile! Congratulations on your marriage this weekend! Enjoy absolutely every little minute of it!

    • Reply
  • Monica
    Expert September 2018
    Monica ·
    • Flag

    Amazing story. So happy for you both. Congrats! Hope you have an amazing wedding in Vegas!!

    • Reply
  • Lauren73016
    Super July 2016
    Lauren73016 ·
    • Flag

    This is such an amazing story - thanks for taking the time to share! I'm impressed with you both getting out of debt. I may have to look into Dave Ramsey to help us out with FH's student loans.

    Sounds like you will have a blast in Vegas - please post pics!

    • Reply
  • LDwed
    Super April 2016
    LDwed ·
    • Flag

    You made me tear up!! Great story. Congratulations!!

    • Reply
  • BoozyBaker
    Master January 2017
    BoozyBaker ·
    • Flag

    That is, pardon my French, fucking awesome. You and FH are awesome!

    • Reply
  • Kimi
    Master August 2016
    Kimi ·
    • Flag

    Married ladies will ALWAYS be welcome at my events. We almost went the Vegas route, too. But, it's important to FH for his sons to be there. Still spending more than we probably should ($8K), but it will be worth it to us.

    • Reply
  • Mrs. Mac
    Master July 2016
    Mrs. Mac ·
    • Flag

    Aw Beaut I'm so happy for you! It sounds like you guys made the very best decision you could and I can only imagine the weight this must take off of your shoulders. You guys have been working so much and so hard. I hope it's a wonderful wedding! Congrats!

    ... and I would totally be up for a meet-up!!! I'm in Charlottesville! Just don't make it the end of July please! ... for obvious reasons.

    • Reply
  • Britney
    Super June 2017
    Britney ·
    • Flag

    No ones intro has ever had me on the verge of tears until now! I am sooo incredibly happy for you and so moved by your story! I hope you have the time of your lives this weekend, you deserve it!

    • Reply

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