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Alanna
Just Said Yes January 2025

Planning a wedding but already married

Alanna, on March 28, 2024 at 2:51 PM Posted in Planning 1 41

My husband and I are already married but did not have a wedding at the time due to personal problems and COVID. We want to have a wedding now and I am not sure why but I am having some feelings that it may be weird to do this since we are already married. Am I too much in my head?

41 Comments

Latest activity by Alexandra, on April 5, 2024 at 7:38 PM
  • Jacks
    Rockstar November 2054
    Jacks Online ·
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    Well, yeah, you're already married so technically it wouldn't really be a wedding. You could call it a vow renewal party and do your vows and have a reception. That would seem less like you're duplicating things.

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  • Lisa
    Rockstar July 2022
    Lisa ·
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    I would phrase it as a vow renewal instead of a wedding, but you can still include pretty much all the same elements as a wedding! The only things you shouldn't do are the pre-wedding events, such as a bachelorette party or a bridal shower. Otherwise, a vow renewal is not weird! Happy planning!
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  • Andrea
    Rockstar January 2024
    Andrea ·
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    What the others have said. It’s not a wedding because you’re married. But you can have a vow renewal and have all the fun parts.
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  • C
    CM ·
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    A wedding is what took place on the occasion of your marriage. The celebration or wedding reception can take place immediately afterward or it can be delayed.


    There’s nothing weird or wrong with a delayed celebration of marriage, though you might want to call it an anniversary party depending on how long ago you were married. I’m not a big fan of calling it a vow renewal, especially this soon. IMO vows don’t expire.
    It really is just a question of how you feel, finances, and your other goals at this point. Another alternative is to wait for a milestone anniversary and have a big party then.
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  • Jasmine S.
    VIP May 2022
    Jasmine S. ·
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    There's nothing wrong with having a party, but call it a vow renewal or celebration of marriage.
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  • Michelle
    Rockstar December 2022
    Michelle Online ·
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    You can plan a vow renewal with party or call it an anniversary party. The wedding already took place with the legalities even if people choose not to acknowledge it as such.
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  • Cece
    Rockstar October 2023
    Cece ·
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    You’re too much in your head! If you and your spouse, want to have a celebration, then definitely do it! As others have mentioned, it wouldn’t be a “wedding” (since you are already married). But that doesn’t mean you can’t do all the things you do at a wedding! Wear the white dress, redo your vows, have the wedding cake, host a fabulous reception…. Whatever you guys want, you can have. Personally, I don’t like the term “vow renewal” when couples are hosting a big party-like event. I think it sounds too stuffy for something with a party vibe. I prefer the term “celebration of marriage”.
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  • Dania
    Beginner October 2024
    Dania ·
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    Nothing weird about it! I’m married and our wedding isn’t until October! We got married due to me having health issues and needing insurance asap. We did it through the court house which is required here in Nevada and we will have our religious ceremony in October. Also, Our minister requested our marriage certificate in order for us to book him for the day otherwise he wouldn’t be able to do our ceremony. I hope this helps you feel better! We have family coming out of the country and state so we wanted everyone to experience us saying I do in front of god and them. 😊 it’s your life and you only live once so do whatever you want and don’t let anyone’s judgement get in the way!! You’re allowed to call it whatever the hell you want. Wedding, vow renewal etc.
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  • Alanna
    Just Said Yes January 2025
    Alanna ·
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    I like that term better too. Thank you for the input. It’s for myself and my husband and what we didn’t have when we got married, I’m not too worried about what others think. It’s more so for myself. Thank you!
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  • Alanna
    Just Said Yes January 2025
    Alanna ·
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    Thank you for your comment! Makes me feel better knowing there’s people who have done it or are going to do it!
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  • S
    Dedicated June 2023
    SandyZV ·
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    I hope you are telling people you are already married and that it isn't a real wedding.

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  • Alanna
    Just Said Yes January 2025
    Alanna ·
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    Everyone we would invite already knows.
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  • Dania
    Beginner October 2024
    Dania ·
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    Why does it matter? Our minister REQUIRES a wedding certificate to be able to do our religious ceremony meaning we already have to be MARRIED before our wedding day. Different state different laws. Whether we’re married before the date or not it doesn’t change anything. A lot of people I know have been married through the court house and then later on did a whole wedding to have friends and family present. So please don’t shame anyone who decides to do things differently because although you want to view it as “not a real wedding” to others this is a real wedding.
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  • Jacks
    Rockstar November 2054
    Jacks Online ·
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    It's not the "reality" or not of the wedding. There have been many stories on here about people going to a wedding not realizing the couple has already secretly married. Then the guests found out and people were really mad that they felt lied to about why they were there.

    Some of us have seen this over and over. Most of us do encourage couples to be transparent about what the guests are there to see and support.

    To the OP, I like the term "celebration of marriage" too!

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  • Michael
    Rockstar October 2023
    Michael Online ·
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    One way two marriage events can make sense is that the first marriage is before the state. The second marriage is before God. The distinction to some degree is artificial but on another level could be seen as significant.

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  • S
    Dedicated June 2023
    SandyZV ·
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    That is not the law in Nevada. Your minister more than likely requires a marriage license to do your religious ceremony.

    A courthouse wedding is a wedding. Getting legally married at the courthouse means you are married, period. end of story.

    Having a delayed celebration or party down the road is not a wedding.

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  • Dania
    Beginner October 2024
    Dania ·
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    Again, why does it matter. Don't be a negative nancy and rain on peoples parades and happiness. People can call it whatever they want. its like saying people who have kids before they're married is wrong. There are so many untraditional ways to do things. I know what my minister said and he REQUIRED a marriage certificate. Anyways, at the end of the day it is not hard to just be happy for other people especially when you're not the one paying for their wedding ceremony and reception party.

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  • Cece
    Rockstar October 2023
    Cece ·
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    I think the previous posters are just trying to be helpful to the bride asking the question. Since this is an etiquette forum, people respond with answers that follow proper. And proper etiquette does state that you should be honest with your guests about the event they are attending. To put it into perspective: say you were sick on your birthday, or maybe your birthday falls on a Tuesday. So you decide to celebrate it the following weekend. You wouldn’t say “today is my birthday”, because obviously your birthday already happened. Instead, you would say that you are celebrating your birthday that day. Similarly, OP would not be getting married that day; she would be celebrating her marriage that day. Being honest with guests doesn’t make the party any less valid or fun.


    Also, all religious Officiants require a marriage license to perform a marriage ceremony. Couples get their marriage licenses days or weeks before their weddings; they just don’t sign them until after the marriage ceremony is performed. And your case, you obviously don’t need to wait until the ceremony is performed to sign the marriage license, since you are already married.
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  • S
    Dedicated June 2023
    SandyZV ·
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    It matters to people who are invited to the event. In the case of a wedding, I make every effort to attend. That involves costs, vacation time, etc. A party, well it is a party. If I had to choose between attending someone's actual wedding versus a event where the couple has been married for months, potentially years in advance, I would attend the wedding. If I am lied to about what the event is, that is a relationship-ending move.

    Your minister requires a marriage license, I am sure of it.

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  • Alanna
    Just Said Yes January 2025
    Alanna ·
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    Not really sure why you are so stuck on this thought of someone lying about the event. This doesn’t really have anything to do with my question and you’re dragging it out. If you’re going to continue being negative, you can simply stop replying so I don’t have to see this crap as I scroll for actual helpful responses.
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