Planning a wedding but already married

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It's a side debate, but this is a good cross section of some of the responses you'll experience. You can't really tell other posters to stop replying on your thread though.

View Quoted Comment Not really, she sounds more like a hater. I never said anything about lying regarding what the event is. You’re saying this would be some responses I get but… no it wouldn’t because I’m not gonna lie about what the event is for. So again, her replies are unnecessary and irrelevant. And I CAN tell others not to reply, I CAN’T make them stop replying. There’s a difference

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It's good that you're not trying to misrepresent the nature of the event. I don't think anyone said you were. It was a valid point, though, because if you've been here long enough you'd know that a lot of people intentionally try to hide the fact that they are married, usually when they are afraid people may not otherwise attend or send gifts.

Again, strictly speaking a "wedding" is the occasion on which someone is married. Colloquially it can also refer to an a wedding ceremony and celebration at the same time. Reception cards do not refer to a "wedding" but a "reception" to follow. A separate or delayed reception is properly known as a celebration of marriage, not a wedding. If the language on the invitation is misleading then lying or not there is the potential to cause confusion, which is exactly what etiquette tries to avoid. Invitation language was traditionally standardized so that there would be no such issue. I just think you open the door to misunderstandings anytime you use language that is inaccurate or open to interpretation.

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I meant the responses in general, not about lying. I don't think anyone has accused you of lying. Again, it was a side debate about the general ethics of not telling your guests when you're already married, not specific at all to you. You seem to be determined to read into it though, so I think the point is moot.

It's totally not weird to want a wedding even if you're already married! COVID threw a wrench into everyone's plans, so it makes sense you couldn't do it earlier. Your feelings are valid, but don't let them stop you from celebrating your love in a big way now.

OMG, people can be so harsh. I can totally understand you wanting to have an official ceremony since you missed out due to the circumstances. I believe that it’s all just in your head and you still deserve your dream ceremony. When all is said and done your union is the only thing that will truly matter anyway. Best wishes

My brother got legally married in Dec 2014 and did the reception with a symbolic ceremony, June 2016. It’s all up to you ..maybe make it into a joke on the invitations. “I know we’ve been officially hitched for a bit, but a party is a party let’s celebrate!” .. or maybe something more clever. Also don’t let people get into your head… do what makes you feel happy. People will always have their opinion on the matter, please don’t let that affect you. I hope this helps!

View Quoted Comment Thank you. I think what’s being defined by everyone is a Marriage not so much a wedding. It could even be the difference in background or culture because to me, a wedding is a celebratory event of the marriage whether it was in a courthouse, church, etc. To say someone is married so you wouldn’t be having a “real” wedding can be taken harshly. I appreciate the input!

View Quoted Comment Thank you for the personal experience. I appreciate the advice!

View Quoted Comment Lmao, that’s hilarious! Lied to?! That’s super funny and weird to think that, but I guess to each their own.

View Quoted Comment Exactly! Agreed 👏!

View Quoted Comment Also for some people the court proceedings isn’t considered truly binding until you get married in church under God the “true” authority. The paper/document being meaningless until the wedding ceremony is done in church.

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If that is your take, then that is your own. Many people believe their city hall legal proceedings are very much real weddings. There are many groups who fought hard for their right to legal marriage in many countries, and saying court weddings are not legitimate is a slap in the face for many couples.

View Quoted Comment Lmao.. right, what does that have to do with anything? I’m just saying anything can be flipped and you just proved my point.
Symbolic ceremony in church with family and God
Vs.The government giving you a documentBOTH valid. Which one is considered the “real one” is based on your culture and beliefs.

View Quoted Comment What? A church ceremony isn't symbolic. The priest /pastor/ officiant signs the marriage license making it legally valid. I didn't follow your whole tirade, but I wanted to address that last part because it sounded bigoted. If you had other sarcastic intentions, it didn't read well.

View Quoted Comment I agree with you, it can come off harsh. The background of this sensitivity your experiencing is that are WW posts from brides who put down their court wedding and whine about their loss of a "real" wedding. This harms real married couples who love their court wedding just the same.

View Quoted Comment That's not Nevada law. Could your officiant mean they require a marriage license for them to sign at your ceremony, thus making it legal? There are many religious officials who refuse to perform a symbolic wedding. I hope it works out

View Quoted Comment Totally agree with you! I’m Hispanic and I cannot tell you how many weddings I’ve been to where they’ve been married for years or months and yet still have a religious ceremony and reception as if it was their very first time! People are just annoying. At the end of the day love is being celebrated no matter what the heck it’s being called. Like BFFR? U gonna tell me bc I got married this month my wedding won’t be a “real” wedding?? 🤣😂 like if I wanna call it an apocalypse then it’ll be the apocalypse lol

View Quoted Comment No, like I stated…my minister asked for our marriage CERTIFICATE in order for him to perform our religious ceremony. Not the license…the certificate. Regardless it didn’t really matter that he required it because I was able to provide him with the certificate since I needed to get married through the court due to needing insurance to treat my health issues since I could no longer wait until October from how bad it’s been. Good news is that everything has been booked and paid off for months so we just have to wait until October to be “married” in front of our family members and god meanwhile I continue my treatments etc.

View Quoted Comment Yes, it can be symbolic because they don’t always sign it !!! My priest asks for the court part to be done prior to the wedding ceremony, thus symbolic. Soooo you’re wrong, but thank you for participating. You can exit left.. ✌️ 😘 haha