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Savvy September 2018

Jack and Jill party!

Vanessa & Eddie, on February 27, 2018 at 6:52 AM

So I am very disappointed in some
threads on here. Jack and Jills are a pretty new concept so I think they are complex to plan but there’s a ton of negativity surrounding them.

My bridal party is throwing us a Jack and Jill because I don’t want a stuffy shower and my
fiance wants nothing to do with a sleazy stag. With that being said does anyone have any POSITIVE input here. Send invites out to guests of the wedding with an online purchase then bridal party can sell tickets also? It will be built entirely like a stag with raffles and games, music, good and drinks but a midday Sunday picnic style. I spend more on a single bridal gift than a couples tickets would be. Probably double so no negative comments please. Thanks ahead of time!

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123 Comments

Super October 2017
Emily · on February 27, 2018 at 9:44 AM
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I would literally never pay admission to go to someone's party. The closest I would come is paying cover during a bachelorette or something. I just cannot wrap my head around this.....
Also, I do not understand some opinions on gifts. I LOVE buying gifts and you do not get to decide whether or not I do so. It is not a hardship for me to have to buy gifts, I actually enjoy doing this. Some people will give you gifts regardless of if you want them or not - if you didn't want a gift and this happens, you graciously accept the gift, write a thank you note and then do whatever you want with said gift.
Savvy September 2018
Vanessa & Eddie · on February 27, 2018 at 9:45 AM
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Exactly like a stag. Lots of PROFESSIONAL food. Alcohol. Music. And there will be games and raffles
Champion August 2017
Mrsbdg · on February 27, 2018 at 9:46 AM
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Sarcasm???
Savvy September 2018
Vanessa & Eddie · on February 27, 2018 at 9:49 AM
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My fiancé owns a restaurant so all food is professionally catered.
Super January 2019
Sunshine · on February 27, 2018 at 9:52 AM
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No, why would it be?
Savvy September 2018
Vanessa & Eddie · on February 27, 2018 at 9:52 AM
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I have actually been told that most men bring bottles of alcohol to stags to raffle off! These are all great ideas thanks so much!!!!
VIP November 2018
Spaghetti · on February 27, 2018 at 9:53 AM
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I've never heard of "stag" or "Jack and Jill" before this post. So you don't want to burden guests or yourself with gifts but you're truly demanding every guest to gift you $25. The $25 is straight profit to YOU.... not the hosts who are spending money on this party, not toward food or drinks or raffles... just a straight up cash gift.
Do you see how this is contradictory?
Savvy September 2018
Vanessa & Eddie · on February 27, 2018 at 9:53 AM
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I seriously can’t thank you enough. You just calmed me entirely. This thread just gave me an all out panic attack because I genuinely don’t know how to do this event and I’m clearly OPEN to advice on every aspect and I’ll I’ve done was defend myself all morning.
Savvy September 2018
Vanessa & Eddie · on February 27, 2018 at 9:58 AM
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So a stag is a party for men who literally just raise money for the groom. Door entry. Raffles. All proceeds go directly to the groom. And literally everyone has one. At least in Connecticut. And with bridal showers either mothers and/or bridesmaids throw these. Normally at restaurants charging a few grand. Average. And no one gets paid back for these events. It’s just the roles of the mom and gals.
Master September 2018
Munchkin9218 · on February 27, 2018 at 10:01 AM
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If your friends are throwing you a party then what gives YOU the right to make straight profit off of them?? My BM's and mom are throwing me a shower but I wouldn't dream of trying to make a profit off the hard work and money they are spending to put it together for me.

Do you charge a cover charge when you have your friends over for dinner parties too??

Also to my knowledge a Stag Party is just the British equivalent of a Bachelor party. Yes the GM throw it and pay the way of the groom but no one looks to make money off of those events. It's similar to going to a bar for your birthday and not having to pay for drinks...
Super October 2018
MaltedMilk · on February 27, 2018 at 10:02 AM
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Vanessa and Eddie - people have given you advice. Most have advised you it is a BAD idea. Not just bad but tacky and rude. You are charging people admission to a party - how does that seem like a good idea?
Savvy September 2018
Vanessa & Eddie · on February 27, 2018 at 10:03 AM
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So you’re paying your mom and BMs back for all the expenses to throw your shower?
Champion August 2017
Mrsbdg · on February 27, 2018 at 10:06 AM
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I'm still curious as to what will happen with this party if all of the guests have the same reaction that all of us have had and just fire the invites in the bin.

Will you just raffle off stuff to the BP who have already paid for the entire event? This is important to think about since your BP will be pouring lots of money into this.
Devoted May 2018
Sarah · on February 27, 2018 at 10:07 AM
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Holy moley.. This is all new to me and I'm just shocked, sitting here reading this. It is such a horrible thing to do.. How could anyone think "Hey, lets have a party to celebrate our marriage..but lets charge admission and also try to make more money off our friends/family by raffling off random crap!"? The greed is overwhelming..wow.
Savvy September 2018
Vanessa & Eddie · on February 27, 2018 at 10:07 AM
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Have you ever heard of a stag???
Champion May 2016
OG Kathryn · on February 27, 2018 at 10:08 AM
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Hi! I am from CT. These are very popular but the one i've been to were a bit different. The funds went to the WP to reimburse for hall, food and open bar. They werent advertised on SM or online. It was word of mouth. These are in replacement of shower and bach parties. I've been to so many and never saw them as offensive until WW. But i get it.
Savvy September 2018
Vanessa & Eddie · on February 27, 2018 at 10:09 AM
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Thank goodness!!!!!!! And the party will be reimbursed for alcohol!!
Master September 2018
Munchkin9218 · on February 27, 2018 at 10:13 AM
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No but neither are you. You're pocketing that money. Bridal showers are optional parties that your BP can choose to throw. I didn't ask for a shower but my mom and girls WANT to throw me one so they are choosing to do so and are doing it within their own expense. Much like a wedding, you throw the type of party you can afford. If any of my girls or mom did not want or couldn't afford to throw me one we simply wouldn't have a shower. End of story. No thrusting expense on guests at all.
Champion May 2016
OG Kathryn · on February 27, 2018 at 10:13 AM
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How will they be reimbursed for alcohol?
They food and bar is 100% free once theyre in the door correct??

Super January 2019
Sunshine · on February 27, 2018 at 10:14 AM
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Sure! I mean, who cares what people on the internet think, right? You need the money for an epic remodel! If your guests in real life don't like it they don't have to give you money or go to the party! You only want the people who fully support you to be there anyway!