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Savvy September 2018

Jack and Jill party!

Vanessa & Eddie, on February 27, 2018 at 6:52 AM

So I am very disappointed in some
threads on here. Jack and Jills are a pretty new concept so I think they are complex to plan but there’s a ton of negativity surrounding them.

My bridal party is throwing us a Jack and Jill because I don’t want a stuffy shower and my
fiance wants nothing to do with a sleazy stag. With that being said does anyone have any POSITIVE input here. Send invites out to guests of the wedding with an online purchase then bridal party can sell tickets also? It will be built entirely like a stag with raffles and games, music, good and drinks but a midday Sunday picnic style. I spend more on a single bridal gift than a couples tickets would be. Probably double so no negative comments please. Thanks ahead of time!

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123 Comments

Champion November 2016
LB · on February 27, 2018 at 9:16 AM
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What would you call it then? The "Give me your money for me to spend how I wish" Party?
Expert October 2018
AllieB25 · on February 27, 2018 at 9:17 AM
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You don't want gifts, but you want to charge your guests money for this completely optional party? I'm so confused...
Champion August 2017
Mrsbdg · on February 27, 2018 at 9:25 AM
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Yup, Same!
Savvy September 2018
Vanessa & Eddie · on February 27, 2018 at 9:28 AM
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You all are hilarious. You can welcome people to showers with open arms for everything you want for a wedding. And even worse showers find everything for a baby which should be the parents responsibilities. But how dare you switch it to cash? That is called hypocrisy. But to each their own.
Champion August 2017
Mrsbdg · on February 27, 2018 at 9:28 AM
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You're making your bridal party pay?! What even?

What's the plan if you don't make enough to pay them back? What happens if everyone throws the invites in the garbage and choose not to attend your event? Will you still have a party where your bridal party paid for everything and no funds were earned?
Expert July 2017
SaraBear · on February 27, 2018 at 9:28 AM
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All of this - I can’t imagine having the gall to ask my friends and family to purchase door tickets and then raffle tickets to fund MY wedding (or my honeymoon whatever). I would be so embarrassed. Because it would look like either A) I can’t afford my wedding/honeymoon and I need help; or B) my family and friends would know I can afford my wedding/honeymoon but I’d like more money thanks. Either way, no thanks. My husband and I paid for our wedding and our honeymoon ourselves.

Both a honeymoon and a wedding are luxuries. If you can’t afford them, don’t have them.
Champion August 2017
Mrsbdg · on February 27, 2018 at 9:30 AM
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People aren't required to bring gifts to showers. I had easily 10 guests show up without gifts.

Theres a difference between charging them for the honor of walking in the front door and welcoming them with open arms regardless of ability to give.
Expert July 2017
SaraBear · on February 27, 2018 at 9:30 AM
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Quickest way to lose a friendship lolllll. Your bridal party is not responsible for ANY of your wedding costs.
VIP September 2018
BB-H · on February 27, 2018 at 9:30 AM
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You don't want a shower, that's fine.
Your wedding is paid for.
Your BP wants to throw this party. Why charge people for it then? Let them celebrate with you (even though it seems a bit redundant to me) without them opening their wallets, which they're probably going to do when they see you haven't registered, and they go to give you a wedding present. Then use that money for you honeymoon.
Champion August 2017
Mrsbdg · on February 27, 2018 at 9:31 AM
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Some people don't seem to be ashamed of living beyond their means. To each their own?
VIP November 2018
Spaghetti · on February 27, 2018 at 9:33 AM
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YES. Do this ^
Champion November 2016
LB · on February 27, 2018 at 9:34 AM
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You don't have to bring a gift to be admitted to a bridal or baby shower. You do have to give cash to be admitted to a Jack and Jill. See the difference?
Savvy September 2018
Vanessa & Eddie · on February 27, 2018 at 9:37 AM
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That’s a good idea! I’m just concerned if it’s not clear we don’t want gifts people will still bring gifts?
Savvy September 2018
Vanessa & Eddie · on February 27, 2018 at 9:39 AM
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Right but I don’t want gifts whatsoever. And I 100% won’t be spending hours opening them in front of everyone wasting paper that’s used for wrapping. I’m SUPER eco friendly so wrapped gifts is a no no for any event for us.
VIP September 2018
Happy Hedgie · on February 27, 2018 at 9:39 AM
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A giant party with everyone you love is wonderful, it is called a wedding.
If someone offers to throw you a party, like a shower/bachelor(ette, you could mention you'd prefer a couples shower instead. Do not sell tickets or charge admission, this is extremely tacky! Guests should not be funding your wedding.
Stag and Does (which I assume are similar to Jack n Jills) are extremely popular in our area. We are not having one because we do not think it is appropriate.
Champion November 2016
LB · on February 27, 2018 at 9:40 AM
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Why are you so concerned with people bringing unsolicited gifts? Isn't that better than straight up asking them for money? You aren't asking for anything if you do what PP suggested. If someone brings you a gift, accept it graciously.
VIP November 2018
Spaghetti · on February 27, 2018 at 9:40 AM
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Money = gift
It's pretty clear if you don't have a registry or you could make a small registry. I'm sure you could come up with a few things to upgrade your home.

I'm curious what the entry fee includes. Are you planning on guests paying to be admitted plus buying drinks and raffle tickets? What about food?
Super January 2019
Sunshine · on February 27, 2018 at 9:42 AM
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This is such a fantastic idea!!! You could probably just include your bank account info on your wedding website and people can transfer you the money before the event! Or use paypal! Put a note encouraging guests to bring a bottle of liquor, case of beer, or bottle(s) of wine so your bridal party doesn't have to worry about alcohol! You could also request the money as a "donation" so people can get over that "asking for money is rude" thing. If you request a donation of $25 or more you might get people who will give you more!!!
You should totally make one of your BMs make a spreadsheet of everyone that donates online so you don't have to worry about physical tickets. You can make one of the GM act as security the day of the event so no one tries to sneak in without donating. If they're not on the list already your required donation should be more.
Savvy September 2018
Vanessa & Eddie · on February 27, 2018 at 9:44 AM
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Stag and doe is the same as jack and Jill

Champion August 2017
Mrsbdg · on February 27, 2018 at 9:44 AM
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You know engagement parties are a thing. It's just celebrating the couple and no gifts are expected. No cash at the front door. Just loved ones and celebration.