Jack and Jill party!

WW does not look kindly on Jack and Jills. But in my area they are not only normal, but people love them. People get really excited about Jack and Jills and supporting their friends and having a good time. FH and I are not having one and people have been really confused and disappointed that we aren't. So if in your area this is something that is starting to pick up and your family and friends are on board then I say go for it.

View Quoted Comment Yes everyone included is very on board. We are very unconventional people and we would feel more comfortable having a giant party with everyone we love versus them furnishing our home! Just confused on how exactly to have tickets available online to purchase. Thanks!

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I'm not sure about purchasing tickets online. Where I'm from someone designs a ticket and prints out a bunch. The bride and groom, their parents, and bridal party all get tickets to sell. I've never seen tickets sold online.

Don know...what is a Jack and Jill party??

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It is like a couples shower but it is used to raise money for the wedding. Tickets are sold to the party, there are raffles, and usually drink purchases are split with the venue and the bride and groom. WW does not support Jack and Jills.

I’m confused by the thought of requiring your guests to pay for tickets for a party you’re hosting. I’ve seen jack and Jill showers before but it just meant the groom and maybe a couple of his buddies were there. Do guests bring gifts like a normal shower?

View Quoted Comment A jack and Jill is a large party that’s is built like a stag. Door entry fee. Lots of food. Alcohol. Games. Music. Raffles prizes. Basically to just raise money for whatever in place of
gifts. We are paying for our wedding ourselves so this will basically be a honeymoon fund of sorts. I was very uncomfortable with the idea of a shower and gifts. This will be more fun and social!

View Quoted Comment Nope! No gifts at all! I hate gifts. It’s basically combining all men and women and building it like a stag! And we aren’t hosting it ourselves. That would make it very tacky. It’s our bridal party throwing it all together. We didn’t want two separate events we wanted it to be together

View Quoted Comment Ok omg I thought maybe it was a Rated party 😂😂😂

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What's a Rated party?

In my day, a Jack and Jill shower only meant that both the bride AND groom attended, and both guys and girls as guests.

I've never heard of it as a fundraiser, and definitely not a fan of that concept.

View Quoted Comment I feel similarly to this. We’ve actually gotten a lot of negative feedback for not having one as well.
Mad a wedding guest, I wouldn’t mind buying the ticket and I think you’re right that it actually becomes less expensive than a shower. I do start to have a problem when people sell tickets to anybody and everybody. Most recently, FH we’re out at one of our favorite local restaurants and our bartender was trying to get us to buy tickets to hers. She’s a nice girl who we know a little better than just being a random server, but we aren’t friends and we weren’t invited to the wedding. It was very off-putting and uncomfortable to say no.
My point is, please don’t harass random people not invited to the wedding to give you money.
That being said, I still like the idea of printed tickets on nice paper. Unless it’s for someone I’m super close with and definitely wouldn’t miss it, I like to have a physical reminder that I paid for it and plan to go. I’ve also seen Facebook groups explaining the party, and if any OOT guests want tickets they can set up something convenient with the bridal party on Facebook. I think it’s super convenient and flexible that way.

View Quoted Comment I’m just panicking a little because here I am thinking I’m creating this amazing thing here for everyone to celebrate together and I’m reading so much negativity! I don’t view this as tacky at all! I always viewed traditional bridal showers as so tacky! Thousands of dollars on restaurants and overpriced gifts. It’s just too much

View Quoted Comment God this is refreshing! Thanks you so much!!! I actually don’t want a ton of people there we don’t know because we could have hundreds. And it needs to be controlled. We have a wedding website that I was going to post it all on! I hope you guys have so much fun at yours!!!!

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I take it with a grain of salt. These are strangers on the internet. If the people closest to you are ok with it and are looking forward to it don't worry about it. Like I said some people are really disappointed that FH and I aren't having one. It's just like dollar dances, in some cultures and regions they are a totally normal and accepted thing.

Heather if you are asking for cash only I highly suggest looking into this. Anything new and unconventional you’re going to get crap on. I am a eco friendly vegan so I am MORE than use to people fighting me on most things. I say do whatever makes you and your hubby to be happy.

Jack and Jill’s aren’t a new concept. My aunt and uncle had one in 1988. You’re essentially asking people to fund your wedding. In my area, people who aren’t invited to the wedding are still invited to the Jack and Jill so basically I’m good enough to help you pay for your wedding, but not to attend it. They’re awful, IMO.

I wouldn't recommend having a Jack and Jill if its not a common thing where you are from or if your guests are not familiar with them. Since OP's bridal party and guests are familiar and on board I think she's ok. I know a lot of people think they are tacky, and I can see that, so I only support doing it if the people that would be attending are also ok with it.

I’m assuming you’re from CT or MA. Jack and Jill’s are not a new thing, and stags are not sleazy. I actually don’t have a problem with stags - I’m not one to justify things by saying “guys will be guys” but it is typically a low-key event with booze and food. The whole raffle thing is weird but guys are weird so whatever. It’s not bothering anyone.

I don’t like Jack and Jill’s because if you’re inviting everyone, it feels like a mini-wedding with an entry fee. Stags are more like reunions of old friends.

View Quoted Comment I'm not looking for cash though or anything really. My parents are funding our wedding they say that is tradition and they paid for my sister's wedding
One thing people on here don' like is that we are not catering our wedding my TH and his dad cook chicken on racks for ppl and that is what they are doing for the wedding then my mom is making the sides
People on here seem to find that appalling but we did sandwiches and guests brought sides to my sister' wedding
I don' know where many of the anti self catering people live but since I've been with my FH we go to little parties where the hosts have made the food we eat and guests bring sides...i see nothing wrong with it