Is the idea of eloping negative?

Ummm, I think it depends.... In my religion, weddings are not recognized if not perfomed on holy ground. When brides go to the priest to ask about it he says "Sure, do a destination wedding - let me get you a list of churches in that area."

So, its up to you. I am a firmly believe that weddings should be held in front of family and friends (witnesses) but others prefer to get married without.

Some people (heck half my family included) are "wedding" kind of people. I've had more than one aunt say to me that we should just go to the JP. It offends me a little, but only because it makes it seem like a wedding isn't important. So I can understand you being irked. That said, I see nothing wrong with eloping, as long as it is something both people agree on. In some cases (for instance AussieBride) it is necessary to get married at the JP before a wedding takes place. Some people simply cannot afford a wedding under any circumstances. I don't think my family (except for my parents) would care if we eloped or not, but it isn't something I want to do. My FH wants to just go to the JP but he knows that I want a wedding.

I think eloping is soooo romantic

I always wanted a wedding. But with 10 days to go and the stress of trying to pull it all together looming, I can see the positive side of eloping. LOL!

I think that while for some people, eloping may be exactly the things you said (running away, hiding, making a statement), there are lots of other reasons that people may choose to elope. Like Jlacy said, as long as both people agree, there really is nothing wrong with eloping.

I'd just let the comments roll off your back, they were most probably just joking around and didn't bother to think it might be offensive.

Sometimes people elope just so that they don't have to deal with the drama of having a bridal party or of having so many people and spending all kinds of money on other people to eat haha. Heck I considered it for a minute. As I've seen on here and with people I know, wedding brings out the crazy in people and some couples just don't wanna deal with it.

Weddings can certainly bring out the crazy and they can be so expensive I don't blame anyone who wants to elope! In the end though I do think it was worth it to have a wedding!

It really depends on the situation and couple. Some couples don't have much of a family. Or it's not that important for other people to be there. I think most couples who elope, do so because they just want it to be the two of them. SOme do it because they can't afford the whole big wedding, and I cna imagine that some couples would rather not deal with drama or family issues so they elope. It's a different situation for every couple that choosees to elope.

When I was 15, I had both my brother get married, and my sister a month later, with that experience, I decided I was going to elope, fast forward how ever many years later, I know that if I were to elope, I would regret not having the wedding the way it's planned now. I want my friends and family to be there, and the best way for that to happen was to get married in my parents yard.

I deff don't think eloping is negative in fact I too think its romantic. I think ppl do it for the exact same reasons Mrs. Schmidt listed in her first post!

It depends on the situation. some people elope because theres a baby on the way or to prove something to people or just to piss off their parents. thats negative. but there are also people who just fall madly in love and cant stand not being together so they temporarily run away and get married! i know a few people whod love to do that. my close family and friends believe in all the traditional, religious stuff. no living together, or sex before marriage. well, not that im a virgin, i was young and stupid before (lol) but my fh and i decided about 9 months ago to behave ourselves until our wedding night. and its been torture ever since. so id love to elope and then have a wedding later! lol

I have a friend who eloped with her first husband, the two of them just became so stressed and overwhelmed with wedding plans, arguing family members that wanted to make all the decisions for them, money and other things that they decided to elope and get the whole wedding thing over with. I think it can be romantic or not, depending on how it's done and the reasoning behind it. And at times, who doesn't think of blowing off stressful friends and family members and just having a simple ceremony?

Well, it was so stressful for me that i wish that i had eloped. seriously. i could not believe the crazy that i saw and that i was subjected to. but now i know...and i know who to cherish too....anyway, i think guys have the fantasy of eloping because most guys don't want all the hoopla and hype of the wedding. they just want to have a beer with their guys. it's the women who dream about it their whole lives. oh dear. i think i participated in that fantasy...there were so many little girl toddlers staring at my dress in wonderment on my wedding day. i can only imagine what i have encouraged. lol. *shakes head*

No my mom almost eloped but then my grandma offered to through the wedding at her house. i thought of eloping but my Mom said she thinks i would regret my close family not being there. I like the idea of eloping its simple romantic to me. I know that there is a stigma some people associate to it but i dont find anything wrong with it... i would be much more likely to elope than have a wedding with more than 50 people.

@Sassafras, I have a feeling we will have about 50 out of 150 at ours. My mom's side of the family aren't "wedding" kind of people and my family on my dad's side on all come together on the holidays. I'm seriously the first person in my family that will actually send out invites for their wedding lol. All the others have been word of mouth. My sister didn't and none of my cousins did. But I am more than happy with 50 of 150. Saves me money cause the food will be $11.50 pp not including the tables and chairs and decorations!

I think the MOTIVE sets the tone. i knew a guy who went to the JOP and got married and then called people the next day to tell them. he said he did it that way b/c he knew we'd try to talk him out of it. uhh YEAH lol!

but at the same time, it's something that i considered and actually tried to talk FH into a year or so ago. not that we wouldn't tell anyone beforehand, but just thinking about all the stress that goes into planning and not wanting to have hundreds of people at my wedding (which i knew would happen and it HAS). i just wanted to be able to share the time with each other and not have to worry about being anybody's entertainment. but then i decided i really DID want my family to be there. i want my dad to walk me down the aisle.

@jlacy yeah i dont really know that many people that well. I really just want it to be the people that really care there and i have a smallish family so thats not a ton (his bro is the only one that can come from his family because of distance and health reasons...) i am getting off really cheap though since weddings are typically a diy family thing, my mom is making muschicholli SP? and my grandma sandwich and veggie trays my sister is my only bm, my aunt is doing the flowers and my second cousin is marrying us. its not for everyone but thats just how weddings are back home i guess... i grew up helping with odds and ends in weddings from my aunts to cousins to brother and they all kinda did it like that so its whats natural to me...

I agree with Ladylee - it's the motive that gets me. If you're just trying to keep people from freaking out then obviously something is up. At the beginning of wedding planning I didn't mind when people joked about us eloping, but after a few months when we started pulling together wedding details (signing contracts and putting down money) it really pissed me off when people who were close to us would tell us to just cancel everything and elope. I think a lot of it had to do with the fact that our engagement is a long one and apparently that signals that we don't really want to get married to some people. So needless to say it wasn't helpful when after I said no we aren't eloping they came back with "but what would change if you got married tomorrow?!? You love each other, right? Don't you really want to get married?" Honestly, I'm 20 - FH turned 23 yesterday. This past year of just being engaged has helped our relationship progress SOOOO much and prepare us for marriage. Cont'd

And as young as we are, we can use all the help we can. I've watched too many people get married at our age and just have NO clue what they're looking at because they were so focused on the wedding and how much fun it will be to be married. So yeah, I get offended when people start into the whole "just go elope" thing as well, but that's the reasoning behind it.

My husband I just recently got married in vegas. We had a beautiful wedding but it was just us and 4 other guests. Eloping no longer has the same stigma it once had. For some couples it is about what they want and not what society or family wants.

I think it all depends on the couple and situation. I jokingly said something about having a JP marry us and FH went off. He said we need to be married in the eyes of God and that means in a church or by a minister. So even though I would love to just run off and do it, it isn't an option for us. I think about doing it though every single time I have a decision to make or have everyone giving me their opinion.