Is the bridal shower supposed to be a surprise for the bride?

I had two showers. They weren't surprises that I was having them. I knew when they were and where they were. I didn't know who was coming or what the games were or anything like that.

It can be a surprise but it doesn't have to be. It probably depends on the family but for mine we don't typically do surprise showers.

Far as input into what happens / theme unless that host asks I would stay out of it.

I dont want mine to be a surprise either. I want to make sure I am dressed appropriately...and no games are allowed, I have already informed my sister. lol

I don't know if it is usually a surprise, but mine will be, although less and less is becoming an actual surprise lol. My FSIL (brother's fiance) and my Mom are the main ones planning it. I know they contacted my MOH in the beginning and I hope that they are including her if she wants to be included in the planning.

Honestly I didn't even want a shower so I don't really care about any of the specifics. I'll show up and be super grateful to anyone who came and try to enjoy myself. Showers just aren't my thing.

I had to know about mine so I could buy a plane ticket to be there. It would have been "Surprise, Kris isn't.....here." lol.

If you have someone who wants to throw you a party, let them do it however they want, for sure! I gave input on the date and I provided the guest list. Aside from that I offered to help several times which they ignored so I figure it's none of my business.

I received an invitation for the shower, but I know they also planned a b-party for that night and they refuse to send me the evite.......so they must be up to some mischief.

@FutureMrs.Ohler - i never thought i would be a shower person either until i went to my first bridal shower last May and had a great time! i loved the games and i love to eat so any excuse to eat is good with me. im not really big on getting gifts and HATE opening gifts in front of anyone who isnt my mom or FH, and iv asked MOH if i could open gifts later by myself but she said no

@Kris, i told her what i wanted, chose the date and guestlist and left it at that. if she doesnt throw the party i asked for i wont be any less greatful. luckily she is good at throwing parties since her and her mom have done so many so im not worried lol.

and that is so funny about the bach party! hope you have fun with that, id be scared lol

In the good old days, it was a surprise.

Cate has to buy a plane ticket. She also wants to look good. So, she knows the date, the restaurant but I dont think she knows the theme. Unless of course, the day I posted it because I thought she was out for the night, she came on WW and saw it.

Do they still use the bows/ribbon from the gifts to make the "practice bouquet" for the rehearsal, or is that on old fart thing too?

Heather, I am sure your shower will be awesome!

@Mrs. Carole, the one bridal shower iv been to they did that with the ribbon, and it was said that every time you have to cut a ribbon that represents one baby. her twin sister wrapped her gift in a TON of ribbons so she would have to cut each one i almost peed my pants i was laughing so hard! I dont know is MOH will do that for mine but i hope so bc i will look silly at my rehearsal not carrying anything lol

My mom is insisting on throwing me one. I didn't register, though, so we're having a lingerie party. No kids allowed! haha

I won't be unwrapping anything, I think we'll just hang out, look at some lingerie, have a few drinks. You know, fun stuff.

I don't think they're going to tell me when/where, though. So I know it's not in March, so in April and May, whenever someone invites me someplace, I'll be sure to dress nicely. lol

Carole I feel like I've seen that a few times but not all the time. Is it the mom who does that? The BMs/MOH? Does the bride collect them herself and lovingly DIY her own ribbon bouquet?

@Rachel one of my friends had a lingerie shower and it was done really, really nicely. It was basically like a very girly tea party where everyone brought a very classy lingerie gift. No whips, chains, or lube.

The surprise would drive me crazy! I wear my hair in a sloppy ponytail 75% of the time and I know I should have more pride but it just takes so long to blow it out every single time. I would be feeling the pressure for sure!

Wait - you have to bring lingerie? Or you buy lingerie? I thought you had someone come with different kinds and you bought it. Maybe I have the wrong idea....DO I???

@Kris, her sister made her ribbon bouquet.

and a lingerie party sounds AMAZING i should have suggested that since its all i really want shower-wise.

Is there still time? Can you still suggest it or did invites go out already and plans made?

Um well i think my MOH already ordered the invites (she did one of those digital things she is going to print, so its not something she can change) and im kind of worried about FH's family and how they would feel about a lingerie party (they are on the conservative side, especially his mom), but if people got me stuff as gifts i think they would be a little less akward about it bc that way i didnt really know what i was getting. i was thinking about telling everyone BUT his family that thats what i wanted lol

Oh no Rachel - it was a theme shower, so everyone brought a gift of lingerie for the bride to open instead of buying something off the registry.

Are you thinking of a toy/romance party?

@Kris, no i wasn't thinking of that, i just dont want his family to get me anything like that (especially his sister lol) it would just freak me out and they would probably get me birkas.

Not being aware of the theme is quite common. They aren't neccesarily supposed to be a suprise, but it's a party thrown FOR you, not by you. It's common for the bride to know nothing more than the date and time.

Yea i dont know a lot. i do know its going to be tea-ish themed and they gave me a menu from a caterer to pick what i liked (bc im a picky eater and wont eat something that i dont like lol) but other than that, thats all i know (well and the date)

Mine was not a surprise but it sort of seemed like it. I was more or less supposed to keep my mouth shut and be greatful someone was throwing one for me.

I knew the date. I kinda picked the date or more less suggested it and I knew what time it would be. I didn't know all the details though. I had no idea what was gonna happen or if there would be food. It was annoying cause when people asked me questions about it, I was like, "Honestly, I don't even know".