Is the bridal shower supposed to be a surprise for the bride?

@Jaclyn, i sent out a fb to everyone who was invited and i told them the date bc some need to ask for the day off/travel and i said if they have ANY questions to ask the MOH (a lot of them are friends with her too so it wasnt a big deal). even though mine is kind of aways away i havent gotten any questions about it and i hope i dont! it would just make me want it to be now lol im so impatient.

Ooh I hope it's a suprise so there can be a chance that I might have one since I am currently unaware of any kind of showers.. haha..

My MOH is throwing my bridal shower, at her house. My mom, her mom (my 2nd mama), & my bridesmaids are all involved in the planning. I know the location, date, & time. That is it! I am not even allowed to see the invitations until after the shower. I have 100% confidence in my MOH & everyone else to throw a shower that I will love & enjoy! I cannot wait

I am normally dressed in sweat pants or ripped jeans and a tshirt - most have inappropriate sayings on them - just my twisted personality & sense of humor. i asked that my shower not be a surprise simply due to the fact that i dress like a slob all the time when i am not at work. well, my shower is a surprise. i think i figured out when it is, and i am so twisted that no one respected my wish to have it not be a surprise, i am more than half tempted to show up dressed in jeans and a tshirt.

I must preface this with saying, I feel bad having these feelings given that I believe I should be glad that the bridesmaids are starting to make some effort in the way of throwing me a shower. For that I am appreciative.

BUT...

I am getting married in October and I had no idea that showers are ever thrown as a surprise. I have thrown a shower for my sister in the past and also participated in others' showers - none of which were ever a surprise for the bride. My bridesmaids have mentioned nothing to me about throwing me a shower. I have had multiple friends and family members ask me when/who/where is the shower and I don't know what to tell them. I just tell them no one has said anything to me about throwing me one. My fiance shared with me (after I shared with him that I felt a little disappointed that no one was throwing me a shower) that one bridesmaid (his sister) has been in contact with him about my schedule and such. Unfortunately, my fiancé knows absolutely NOTHING about showers and he has twice given them dates that did not work for me. Furthermore, he told them I didn't really have anybody other than the bridesmaids that I would want invited (which is absolutely not true!). While I could be angry with him for giving them such stupid information, it's not his fault because he didn't know what to tell them and did the best he could given their inquiries to him (instead of me?). I am really hurt and feel disrespected by this process. I do NOT understand how you can have a surprise shower for a bride, when a bride's schedule gets so hectic and crazy the closer it gets to the wedding. I also don't understand who will be there, and feel that certainly important people to me will be left out since the bridesmaids don't have any of my friend's/family member's contact information. In addition, I live in NYC, and most of my family live in Texas - many of whom would need to make travel arrangements if they wish to be at the shower, but given the lack of notice I am doubtful that many of them would be able to make it, even if I gave them notice now. I asked my fiancé to tell them to call me next time they have a question about scheduling (especially given it is no longer a surprise since he had to tell me that they contacted him). I feel the LEAST they can do is prioritize MY schedule if it is the case that the shower is meant to honor me. I do not expect to make the decisions about where it is or what the décor looks like, but I was hoping they would at least ask me when I am available so I could plan for it and offer them a list of people that are important to me who I'd like to be there.

This is by far one of the strangest experiences I've had in the wedding planning process as of yet...

If I were a MOH (which I have been in the past) or a bridesmaid throwing a shower for the bride, I would seek input from the bride on her schedule and ask her if she has anyone she'd like to be there. Other than that, don't burden the bride with more than that, but at least seek her input on those two huge details.

My MOH and mom refuse to tell me the date of the bridal shower. I have an idea of the location, but no other details. I just want to know the date because I am excited about picking out an outfit and getting my hair done, but also because I have intense anxiety and need to know a head of time. But they won't tell me the date because it's "supposed to be a surprise" and I'm really upset about it. All my friends at least knew their dates.

I was offered a bridal shower by my sister, godmother and my mom. We all met and sat together to plan it out. I am actually taking charge of making the centerpieces and prizes for the games we will have.

I'm a nurse and no one (not even me hehehehe) can predict my schedule so I will give the date, some hints ("Heyyy I'm getting married in the roaring 20's), a list of ppl to invite & the rest is up to my MOH/mom/bridesmaids....

I personally like a little surprise but that's my preference