Is it wrong to pay for a wedding when you have debt?

I assume you're referring to Dave Ramsey or YNAB. I believe in both those methods, but there is a balance between paying off debt and living life to the fullest that each person/couple must determine for themselves. I wouldn't go further into debt for a wedding, but the decision to budget and save for it while also paying down existing debt isn't the worst thing IMO.

That's ridiculous... Honestly, I am all for no debt, I was lucky to have parents who let me live at home until I paid mine off, FH wasn't as money smart. No one gets to tell you how and where/when to spend your money. I get that obviously it's smarter to have no debt, but it's not always possible. It sounds like you and your FS have a handle on where your money is going and you're not using a massive 30K or anything budget for the wedding, so forget the "money masters" and enjoy your wedding planning.

I understand the importance of being debt free but I say have your wedding!!!! If you wait until you're debt free something always comes along (new car, house repairs, etc.) Now I think if you were drowning in debt and not able to make monthly payments because of the wedding that could be different, but it doesn't sound like that's the case here.

I have a home that we still owe a goooooood chunk of money on. According to them does that mean I shouldn't get married until the house is paid off? I'm just curious what they say.

WED18, actually, I'm in a few Dave Ramsey groups and the people in those have been nothing but nice! This was just a general personal finance group. We'be been engaged a year and we started with some credit card debt which we've paid off while putting money towards the wedding, which is this summer. We haven't gone into any debt for our wedding, which I'm pretty proud of.

I think it’s up to you and your FH what you feel you can afford. Can you continue to pay down your debt as you pay for your wedding? If so, then I’m sure you’re fine. My FH and I were very adamant about paying off all credit card debt so that we could buy a home and pay off the wedding responsibly. Our current debt comes from our car payments and my school payments. Other than that, we are closing on our home next week and will have a mortgage, taxes, and utilities to pay on top of the wedding. We sat down and figured out how much we can afford and know we will be okay.

While I applaud you for even thinking about this, I think it's a much more complex question than it seems. The answer will be different for everyone. What sticks out to me first though is a mortgage. It's more common than not for couples starting out together to have a pretty hefty mortgage. If we waited until that was paid off, we would we waiting another 28 years. As for debt relating to school (student loans, etc.), it's depends on so many other factors. Some people are in a field where those loans will easily be worth it, others are not.

For us, we have a mortgage, two car loans, and I currently have larger-than-I'd-like-but-manageable credit card bill. We don't have much left in savings, but FH does have a decent retirement plan. Taking our plans for our future into account, we feel we can afford a wedding. Even with the same assets and debts, if we sought a different lifestyle or had other circumstances, we might feel differently.

I guess my point is, it's not such a straight-forward formula.

I think it's fine to have a wedding while you are in debt provided two things:

1.) You continue to make progress on your student loans/car payments. Don't just stop paying them off while you are paying for your wedding.

2.) You do not go further into debt (i.e. take out a loan to help pay for your wedding/ put the wedding costs on your credit card and then don't pay them off).

If everybody followed the advice that you have been given, I don't think anyone would be getting married-- there's a lot of newly graduated couples out there and I guarantee you almost everyone getting married has some sort of car or house payment.

View Quoted Comment Oh good, I really like Dave Ramsey but I'm not as "gazelle" as some. Sounds to me like you two have a great handle on things. Enjoy your planning and your big day!!

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I agree with this. If you can still pay your mortgage/student loans/car payments and you're not going further into debt, I think that's still responsible spending.

Student loans and car loans I personally don't think should be considered "debt". I hate that. I feel like student loans and car payments are across the board normal in the US. A good portion of us have this "debt". It's what pays our way to our livelihood. Student loans to have a degree in maybe the current job, and a car to get there! There's hardly ANY way around that, and weddings now are wayyyyy different than 20 generations ago. 4,000 for a wedding this day and age on your part is a VERY good number. I know people who spent that just on their dress. Don't listen to people who want to critique your every move. In the end the only person who pays the consequences is you and husband.. but you will be just fine. People who don't have anything nice to say aren't worth you fretting over. Unless they offer to pay one of your bills, their advice should be irrelevant. Have your wedding lady!

I have a little debt myself - about 4,000 in credit cards .. and my car lease ( which I guess is considered debt ).. I feel like I’m okay with having and helping pay for a wedding since I know I pay all of my bills on time and never struggle with them.. maybe I’m a bit different since I don’t consid r myself to be in debt with the credit cards seeing as how I have the money to pay all of them off in full I just can’t swallow dishing out that much cash At one time.

I think there’s a different between having debt and a wedding and getting into (worse) debt FOR a wedding.
There’s good debt and bad debt. I don’t have bad/credit card/every day debt at all. But..,we owe A LOT on our mortgage. But that’s how we’re keeping it. It’s not like if we weren’t having a wedding we’d be putting that money into our mortgage, we wouldn’t be. We’d be saving it or spending it otherwise. It’s jist a totally different ballgame.

I agree with mcskipper. It’s not like you’re gojbg to have a 25k wedding. Your price range is very very reasonable, and you aren’t burying yourself. It’s normal to have debt with student loans, I feel like almost everyone I know has it. Do not worry

We have debt and are contributing towards our wedding so no I don’t think it’s ridiculous. What I Do think is ridiculous and silly is actually PUTTING yourself into debt to have your wedding.

I think it's fine to have debt and plan for a wedding at the same time, as long as you are responsible. We have a mortgage, I have a car loan and student loan debt and we both have a little credit card debt as well. We created a budget that allowed us to still continue to pay down our debt, while saving for the wedding. We did decide to have a longer engagement in order to have more time to save though.

I think in your situation it isn't bad debt. Now if you are running up credit card bills or taking loans out of your 401k to pay for it, those would be bad choices. Just make sure you're still contributing to your 401k to get the employer match (if your company has one) and making your minimum loan payments and you're good. We're paying 20k for the wedding and we paid 7k to go to Japan last year as a couple and 5k for Italy the year before for me with one of my best friends. We could probably have put a down payment on a house and skipped the vacations and gone to the courthouse but I know when I'm 70 I'm not going to say I wish I bought a house a couple of years faster, I'm going to cherish those memories! Some of those people are too hardcore, it's important to plan for retirement, but not at expense of sacrificing things you really want and that do still fit into your budget.

You only get married once if you do it right so you deserve a wedding. Your budget isn't elborate and the debt you have is normal, responsible adult debt not credit card debit. These things show that you are mature people who realize you will have to pay it back. I think you should go for it.

View Quoted Comment Im a little confused... if you have the money why wouldn't you pay it off in full so you're not paying any interest?????

Thank you guys! I was starting to feel a little guilty but also I think those people must just be miserable... they also couldn't understand why I financed my car. I paid $2000 down and financed the rest. At the time all I had was $2000 to put down, yeah I could have just bought a $2000 car but it would probably be in and out of the shop. I didn't buy an expensive car anyway..sorry I didn't have $7000 cash at the time 🤷🏻‍♀️ Ugh.

Absolutely not! I tick a lot more Americans are in debt then you may think. As long as your debt is not CRAZY where you cannot handle that and a wedding expenses then I think your fine. I have 15k in car debt and FH is debt free- we are planning a wedding. We are paying the wedding in cash BUT I think that as lost as you can pay some/most of the wedding cash and may need to use credit or a small personal loan to pay the rest then you are fine. The main thing is that you can reasonable handle your previous debt while paying/saving for the wedding and taking not hat debt as well.

My Fh has zero debt. He bought both of his vehicles in cash. He HATES debt and it really frightens him because he has never had any. I would say that this is they way that group may be. My FH got his first credit card when buying my ring (for the airline points lol) he HATES it now. It causes him such anxiety and even my debt he wants to pay off. Its crazy to me that he worries so much about it because ehe has zero- especially compared to the rest of the country. So I think you just need to ignore them and take it with a grain of salt.