Is it ok for my step mom to wear a long Ivory dress too !!

WOW, I would definitely go bridezilla x 100 on her. I hope she changes her mind, thats not cool.

You know what this has really helped me so much. To be honesty it has always been common knowledge that I had a evil stepmother (they have been together for about 16 years) so this will just confirm it. My dad's side of the family totally hates her, and this will just solidify their opinion of her. So i have washed my hands of it, i will look gorgeous even if she was naked for the wedding...LOL thanks guys

Oh wow, that's a huge no! Unless you encouraged her, she should have not picked that color. Anyway like Sharon said, unless she looks like Heidi Klum, she will not look like the bride.

No, that's messed up. You should ask her to take the dress back. It's just... It's just wrong.

Based on your report of the conversation, it sounds like she knows d*mn well that what she's doing is completely off the rails. I would definitely ask your father or someone else in the family to say something to her so that she can't ever claim that she just didn't KNOW it was a problem, but try not to stress over it--if she ignores them and wears it anyway, as other posters have said, everyone at the wedding will think that she's a complete wicked witch... and eventually word will get out that she even ignored a request not to wear it, and then she'll be the wicked witch of the WEST. Cripes.

I got an idea that tick her off I bet. If she's not in the wedding party colors(silver or purplish) exclude her from the "family photos". Not sure if you were including her anyway but thats just mean. A nice smack back without the confrontation unless she has the gall to do it at your wedding.

Nope. That's a negatory. Not okay. Plus..ivory usually photographs as white...NOT COOL.

WTF; seriously this is NOT okay; you need to speak up, if you don't think you could approach her and stay cool than since you have a good realtionship with your dad you should be able to tell him that this is NOT okay and ask him to speak with her; seriously this is NOT okay!!!

O HELL TO the MF NO!!!

I would go Bridezilla

Oh hell nawl!!! I would accidently on purpose trash that dress the day before. And I so serious. Black paint, ink, dye, lipstick. leave it soaking in bleach. Slice the seams with razors (so when she puts it on it falls off)...

NO ONE, no matter what they wear, will outshine you! Everyone will see it for what it is, and you will be the one coming out being, and looking, the best! wash your hands, but use a little extra soap

My MIL asked me in the beginning what our colors were, and i told her black red and white, she asked me what color to wear and i subtly told her that she could get away with either red or black...i think she was leaning toward white! Which is ridiculous! But dont assume that she is doing it intentionally, some people are just really thick and you have to spell things out for them... I would talk to her about it, because you should be the only one in white (or ivory) on your day!

No matter what they wear,no matter what they say.u r the focus.

It's not cool what she did, but I wouldn't let her see you sweat. Your right if she gets a rise out of you she wins. I'd let her wear it. You are the one getting married and everyone knows it. She'll look like the pathetic jealous person who's wishing it was her wedding.

I think it is disrespectful to the bride to wear white in any shade to a wedding, unless the bride asks you to. I think I would have my first bridezilla moment with that.

I agree with everyone else. Thankfully I don't have to worry about this happening to me.

Not. Okay. Not in any way! I would tell her to return the dress and get a silver or purple like you originally requested!

Did she look for a dress in the other colors and couldn't find one?

To be honest ladies, I dont' think she even cared about what my request was to begin with. the other thing i forgot to mention is that she is insanely jealous of my mother ,who by the way does look like Heidi Klum(super tall, thin, and beatiful, but black..LOL)and I think my step mom is really trying to out do my mother. But to me it all comes down to the fact that this isn't about my step mom or her jealousy of my mother, it is about me and my fiance and our day. So although I do want to put black ink on her dress (thanks Mrs. Joseph) I truly believe she will look like the bitch that she is. Also because i'm not actually in the same state as any of my family or the wedding for that matter ( I live in FL, wedding is in St. Louis) I can't actually sit down with her, not that it would matter anyway. I will keep you guys posted.