is any one else having the "hyphen" argument

I'm kinda confused by what your name will be verses what it is now. Do you have 2 middle names?

Regardless though the only people whos opinions really matter in this debate is you and FH.

We havent decided if I will keep my name as well and go with the hyphen. I'd like to keep my last name in the mix for professional reasons though.

I don't have to have the hyphenated name debate with anyone because I'm going to be taking my FH's name, and I will still have my initials because his last name starts with an S, just like mine.

Well personally im not hyphenateing my last name because i would have a seriously long freaking name my name would be Brittany Cherie Fultz-Davidson and i dont want my future children to run out of space on their test to write their name and they would hate me for it i know i dont have to put their last names like mine but i will because that was the whole point of me keeping my maiden name to pass it on to the kids my dad thinks hypenateing the last names are awesome and he wants me to do it but im tired of being picked on by my father in law to be avout my last name b/c miss pronounceing & spelling my last name is a pet peeve. so he cant make fun of me if i have his last name. and plus i hate my maiden name!!!! but as far as you dont listen to others on what they think its all about what you and your FH feel if he's ok with it then do it if hes not just talk to him about it*more* and do what u feel is right! its all about you honey!!!!!

What about changing your middle name to your maiden name and taking his last name?

Ya marcia susanne are my middle names. and my FH went from not really having an opinion until his father said that i felt i was to good for their last name. this isnt the case at all i just dont want to loose my name. ive tried to explain this but no one hears me out. it turns into me smiling and changing the subject, then fighting with kill at home.

In my first Disasterriage I hyphenated my name, but I only used my maiden name for so many reasons. But this time I will hyphenate it again for legal reasons like getting a scholarship for my sons private schooling. However I will totally go by FH last name. Just because its on paper you dont have to use it if you dont want to.

Me dropping the middle names creates issues in my family and im not asking that children have the hyphen just me.

You have EVERY right to hyphenate your name, it sounds to me like they are being childish and its completely none of their business. I, personally, will be taking FH's last name, but that's my choice. I know girls who kept their own name, no hyphen........

I think you should have a serious conversation with your FH about how important it is for you to not drop any of your names. I didn't want to drop any of my names either, so I'm keeping my name exactly as it is, not hyphenating or anything. His family needs to respect your decisions.

"too good" for their last name is a ridiculous argument for them to make, especially since you are taking his, but also keeping yours. Ultimately, this is your decision. FH should support you, and try to talk to his family about it.

I don't mean to take anything away from this thread, but OMG Natalie!! "Disasterriage" is the funniest thing I've read in a long time!! My divorced mom is going to get a KICK out of that when I mention it the next time we talk.

Ok - back to the real subject: I agree with the above-posters. Your hyphenated last name is your choice and the FILs should stay out of it. They are being ridiculous. At least you're taking his name - you could have decided to keep your maiden name. Maybe telling them that will put it all in perspective.

Wow, definately having this fight once a month. I was married before and have a daughter from it; of course she and I share the name. He has a son from a previous relay w/his last name. It is important to me to keep the name for my daughter although I want to hyphenate it. I don't want her to be the only one with her name in the house and feel not apart. It's so sentimental for me with regard to her. He seems to want to make my x-husband apart of the reason for me keeping it. Also, I've had this name my entire adult life. It's still unresolved. grrr.

Not about hyphenation as such. However, in my prior (nearly 20-year) marriage, I had people addressing me by his name, even when they knew I hadn't changed my name. And if it wasn't bad enough when his relatives did that, my own parents were doing the same thing.

This is a total non-issue as far as my opinion. Who cares what your in-laws think or want for your legal name!? Its YOUR name. YOU get to decide. When they bring it up, just change the subject. Tell them you will make the decision and cross that bridge on your own without anyone's help. They have no right to speak about "family pride" and such as your name is not about pride but about who you are as a person. Whatever name you decide upon whether you keep your current name, adopt theirs, or come up with a whole new last name, it will be your identifier and they have no right to disrespect whatever you choose.

Wow...who knew names were such hot topics.

I guess i can understand to a certain degree...but whoa, it seems so stressful.

The thought of hyphenating never crossed my mind. I'm getting married, so I'm taking my husbands name.

I say do what u want and everyone will get over it. Your fiance should be on your side no matter what though...as your future husband you 2 will be each others most important person in life.

I am hyphenating my name, because I want to have the same last name as my son but still take his last name. My DH has no problems with it, he understands that I want to have same last name as my son! I would sit down with him and really explain how you feel and then once he understands (hopefully) then sit down with his fam with him and explain how you feel and if they still don't understands then who cares its your name that you have to live with so it's your choice!! Good luck.

I hyphenate because I have young small children at home with my maiden name for last names. Once the adoption goes through, I'll drop the hyphen.

I personally think it is completely up to YOU. Your FH can give his two cents, but ultimately you are the one who has to live with it. I swore I would either keep my name or hyphenate if I ever got married (for both personal and professional reasons-I have a bachelor's and doctorate degree in my maiden name), until I ended up with my FH. His name is incredibly long and the logistics of hyphenating would be a headache for me. I chose to make my last name a second middle name. I was torn after making the decision to take his name and someone made a very interesting point...either you can take your husband's name, or you can keep your father's name. Either way it belongs to a man. (I'm somewhat of a feminist

Word to the wise: if you do hyphenate, use both names consistently. I'm in the healthcare field and in my line of work we have people using one name or the other or both, and it complicates things. If you use your hyphenated name consistently, you should have no problem.

It is a fight I ultimately never won ... as sad as I am to be dropping my last name ... he was very very upset about me keeping it as well so I just said f it I'll take your stupid last name ...

It isn't an argument in my house. I'm hyphenating my name. I've spent too many years cultivating my maiden name for professional reasons. I can't just completely turn my back on that. However, I will take his name for personal things. At work I'll use my maiden name, in the rest of my life, I'll use his name.

He knows he is marrying a strong, independent woman. Me having a part of his name is important to him- as it can symbolize forming a family. However, he knows my name means to much to me to completely drop it. This is not an argument. As he put it- it's my name, and my choice.