If a cash bar is unacceptable, what do you suggest people do instead?

This conversation always ends up along the lines of poor people just shouldn't have weddings or just have teeny tiny weddings. I wouldn't have a cash bar because I can afford to pay for my guests. But i don't look down on people who can't afford it and genuinely want to have their friends and family celebrate the most important day of their lives. What do you do in situations where you can only afford to have 20 people with drinks but you have 80 other family members pissed off at you that they didn't get to come? I wouldn't give a shit about having to shell out cash for a few drinks for a friend's wedding if I knew their money was tight.

@MrsCoakley We invited about the same as you, so maybe we will pay less! We have many big drinkers coming, so who knows? I'd rather be pleasantly surprised at how low the bar tab is than shocked at how high it is!

@Eileen Yes, thank you!

"Our venue has unlimited drinks on us for the first hour. Anything after that is not covered. We are announcing this to our guests so they can get their drinks for the night then. I'm having a small 3-4 hour wedding so it should work out"

@Kayla this makes no sense. So basically get shit faced for the first hour because for the last 3 hours you're on you're own?

Do just beer and wine. If you still cant afford it then have a smaller guest list. If you still cant afford it then maybe elope or have a courthouse wedding and take your immediate family out for dinner instead. If you still cant afford it then just elope and that's it. Or wait until you have saved up the money for a proper reception.

@Eileen if "poor people" can't afford to properly host a wedding, then they absolutely should have a teeny wedding. There's nothing wrong with being broke and having a small event but there is something wrong with trying to keep up with the Jones's and live beyond your means. A wedding doesn't *need* to be an all-out, 6 figure lavish affair to be nice. I went to a small wedding (maybe 40 guests) a couple of months ago. The venue was gorgeous, the food was delicious, and beer/wine was hosted. You could tell that they cut back on unnecessary things like favors and ornate centerpieces to be able to host their wedding well. There are things in between a black-tie event and a potluck wedding that's held in meemaw's living room.

@LaGrosera "meemaw's living room" has me DYING LMAO

@La Grosera, I'm talking about couples who are already cutting back on the unnecessary decor/flowers, etc. My point is that if they are already doing all that, and they have saved enough to provide a proper meal to their guests, they should be able to have a nice evening with friends and family without being looked down on for not providing an open bar. You're right, a wedding doesn't need to be a 6 figure lavish affair to be nice but to a lot of people in this country, having that open bar does fall into the "lavish" category.

I honestly don't get why people are so offended by cash bars. Personally, I'd rather pay for my own booze than not celebrate someone's special day with them. Its about people pledging their lives to one another and making a huge commitment, not drinking for free. If you have a huge family, you should invite them. Some people can't cut their guest lists....personally I'm more offended if we are related or close friends than I am if you have a cash bar.

If you can't afford it don't have it period. No need to go into debt just so your friends can get wasted. Enjoy your time with as many ppl you want don't cut the list because ppl will be more mad they couldn't come just because you wanted to serve alcohol. Think about it

Cash bars are fine am hosting only 1 hour of open bar who cares what others think it's what you can afford screw it

I went to a wedding recently with cash bar and fake flower as centerpieces. Both bride and groom have good jobs and make good income. I can't help but think they're trying to save money and want to make sure that they will break even with their wedding. It's my pet peeve to go to weddings where the bride and groom plan their wedding based on how much they think the guests will gift them.

See if the venue is BYOB or have a partial open bar (which is also a No no on wedding wire)

Bottom line, from what I gather from this thread....... don't mess with people's alcohol......my goodness I've never seen such passion!! Seriously, as future brides and what not, we are allll supportive of each other.......until you mess with the topic of alcohol......

Do beer and wine that's usually cheaper.... then if ppl want liquor they can pay for that themselves. Or do signature drinks so you only use well liquor (again cheaper) or give tickets to each guest with something cute on it like "share a drink with us" or something cute Pinterest will have ideas. It's not easy to plan a wedding and until I read how crazy ppl get when you even say cash bar I didn't know it was tacky! Good luck hope this helps

Be in the UK - genuinely normal here!

@imogen same here in Ireland, maybe they could just move the wedding across the altanic and then wouldn't have to worry about cash bars lol...

@Maria....it might be cheaper!

We're having beer and wine only (venue is a brewery with limited liquor license) and we're going to pay for the first two drinks per guest with cute little wedding-themed drink tickets. The reception will be a few hours long and then we're going to hit the bars as a big fun group.

I have a tight budget and a small guest list, and I don't give a hoot if you think it's "tacky." I think reaching under the bride's dress and removing her garter in front of all your guests is as tacky as it gets, but if that's what you want at your wedding, then have fun! 

@ambork yep!! Move to Ireland lol...We'd have been bankrupt if we had to buy drinks for everyone all night. well here we still provide wine with the meal! But then most venues either include it in thier packages or corkage is reasonable enough. Some people provide something like prosecco or punch or whiskey or beer at the drinks reception (cocktail hour). Couldn't imagine a drinks bill off 4000!! We had racked up a €500 bar tab from drinks we bought for people and thought that was bad! Mind you neither of us figured out where the 20 baby Guinnesses that were on the tab came from! Lol.. ( a shot with tia Maria with a bailys head).