If a cash bar is unacceptable, what do you suggest people do instead?

Save more money, invite fewer guests or cut corners elsewhere.

How is this a hard question?

It's like this. I want a big wedding. Like 300 people. I want a fancy venue. I want an expensive dress. I want a huge 5 day travelling bachelorette party. I can't afford these.

I know. I'll make my guests subsidize my reception by paying for alcohol.... right?

Also, Erin, you can't tell people how to reply.

Invite less people and do beer, wine and sodas. Or consumption.

There is no acceptable reason to have a dry wedding. Sorry.

I wouldn't have a bar. I suggested this numerous times before agreeing to sign the contract with our venue(includes an open bar) I don't really want any kind of bar. But I'd never agree to a cash bar..it's rude to ask guests to pay for any part of their evening.

There are several good options, but having a cash bar because you want 100 plus guests and can't host them with alcohol isn't one of them. It's simply inconsistent with good hosting to put something in the faces of your guests, something YOU knew you wanted because of the party element and staying power it provides, but you won't pay for it. It's really an embarrassment to even consider it -- for any of the faux reasons usually expressed.

1. Cut the guest list. Yes, you can cut it. Cousins? Kids? Co-workers? Neighbors? His mother's co-workers/friends...her mother's coworkers/friends? Ridiculous, unless you can host them correctly. Nobody outside of your immediate family will shed a single tear if they aren't invited to a wedding...especially if it's small. Go that route, and MOB, MOG, FOB, FOG, all siblings and spouses, grandparents and a few VERY close friends will be able to indulge in a few glasses of wine/beer/signature cocktail. Of course, the downside is you aren't going to have that huge blow-out you think you need (but don't -- small weddings are amazing).

2. Check you date. Off season -- January, February, March? The months between New Years Day and Easter are usually the cheapest months of the year (because everyone wants spring, summer, and fall). Then, to get the charges even lower, ask about a Thursday evening wedding. Think of it realistically -- a Saturday evening wedding in June is going to cost a hell of a lot more than a Thursday evening or Sunday afternoon wedding in February. Lower costs mean the dollar goes further, and in this case, it can go to a beer/wine open bar.

3. Have a dry wedding, but OWN it. Unless the guest list is made up of very religious people, it's not going to be something most people are willing to invest four or five into attending (and no -- there's nothing wrong with them that isn't wrong with all of us. We get bored, especially when the four/five hour party drink is coffee). No, people don't really like them (the majority, anyway), but they will attend and hang around for a little while. So do one in the brunch/lunch hour. Accept the fact that you don't have the budget to host 100 plus people at a Saturday evening party, and accept the fact that if you insist of having 100 plus people, you can't expect those people to hang around for more than an hour after the meal is served. No ice cream sundae bars aren't an incentive, and neither are taco trucks. It's kind of like asking people to spend five hours at a dry lunch/dinner. It gets boring, with or without a DJ (and I always feel for DJs who book dry weddings -- they are under such pressure to create a party with the deck stacked against them at the outset).

4. Have a cake/punch, app/dessert reception that last two hours. Yes, people can attend a dry wedding and devote 30 - 40 minutes to a ceremony, then enjoy a soft drink, some apps and some dessert, and if they leave after an hour, thank them for coming. Put an end time of two hours on the reception, or be prepared to be the last ones, along with your family, leaving your reception.

5. Elope. The couple and two witnesses and a fully hosted meal featuring unlimited drinks is a great way to get your budget to absorb alcohol. With that, how many drinks could possibly served over the course of a two hour meal shared by four people? Ten? Twelve? If you can't swing that, you really can't afford to get married.

6. Have a destination wedding. It's a guaranteed "regretfully declines" occasion, but the nearest, the dearest, and the available will be there. Many resorts have wedding packages, and those packages do include upgrades that include champagne/wine/beer and some liquor. If you're going to do this, you HAVE to host alcohol. Your guests spent a lot of money to be there, and they are entitled to expect full hosting.

Any option is better than the cash bar option. If people just want to get drunk, there are far cheaper ways to do it than at a wedding.

@allisonJ- exactly. Preach.

ETA: Pay. For. Your. Guests. Drinks. DONE.

You can have a beer or wine open bar instead, I think that would be sufficient.

Ashley, OP SAID you weren't allowed to suggest that! (sarcasm)

I'm providing my own alcohol and hiring a bartender at less than half the cost of what it would be to have it provided by the caterer.

Otherwise, I would look at the budget and cut something else, like unnecessary flowers or decor.

I personally don't think a cash bar is the end of the world, but I would rather make my own bouquets (which I am also doing) than have one at my wedding reception.

There's absolutely no good reason. Either treat your guests properly, or don't have the wedding. It's that simple.

Champagne only

Maybe they can do those little tiny champagne bottles with the vintage straws as a favor so they can at least share a champagne toast with the people that they love. Oh if it's a backyard wedding instead of a bouquet toss they can do a pinata filled with miniatures.

What about only shots? Just a bunch of hard alcohol and shot glasses. No mixers, nothing non alcoholic. No water. Just shots.

Signature drinks are always a nice option to keep the cost down or just doing beer/wine (as already suggested) versus doing a cash bar. I think if someone is coming to your wedding and they won't come unless you have more than 2 or 3 drink options then they are going for the wrong reason. A wedding is a reason to celebrate two people coming together and shouldn't be based off of the bride and groom having an extensive alcohol selection.

Our venue has unlimited drinks on us for the first hour. Anything after that is not covered. We are announcing this to our guests so they can get their drinks for the night then. I'm having a small 3-4 hour wedding so it should work out

Miniatures as favors? And are the vintage straws supposed to make it pinteresty?

For whoever asked, you advise your guests of a dry wedding the same way a couple who are hosting alcohol advise their guests:

Alcohol hosted:

"Cocktails, Dinner, and Dancing to Follow"

No alcohol hosted:

"Soft Drinks, Dinner, and Dancing to Follow"

The truth is that most dry wedding couples will not add that to their formal invitations (opting for the more ambiguous "Dinner and Dancing to Follow"), and they do that for a very specific reason --unless they are devout and inviting those of the same mindset -- namely, attendance.

'Soft Drinks, Dinner, and Dancing to Follow"'

Pfft. May as well just say soft drinks and dinner cause ain't no one gonna be dancing.

^^^Yep^^^...but there are always two or three brides who swear that they attended a kick ass dance party at a dry reception (always those who plan on hosting one). I always figured, based on experience, that those sweating on the dance floor had a little something stored away in the car or in the pocketbook, but, hey...I'm just someone who works weddings every month of every year. I've seen it all...and I've heard it all (but what do I know? LOL).

Wow.

@Jacks ok, I edited the post so that I'm not telling people how to respond.

@Beachy and Future Mrs G the "asking for a friend" comment was a joke. Apparently it didn't land. The info about my actual wedding in a week is included in my post. No, it's not for me or a specific friend. I have seen many posts on this site about cash bars and people have been so harsh towards posters about it, basically telling them they shouldn't be having a wedding at all. I got to thinking there must be some helpful advice for them. Also, I would venture to say there are A LOT more "lurkers" that don't post who end up feeling sad about their weddings after reading comments like those.

As I said in my original post, I think cash bars are tacky, but I don't think that people who can't afford fancy weddings don't deserve to have them at all. In MA there are very few ways around paying for alcohol (i.e. can't bring your own unless it's a private residence, have to pay TIPS certified bartenders belonging to the venue, etc) I think there are probably a lot of people who feel that they are cutting down the guest list, keeping other costs reasonable and still cannot pay for people to drink at their wedding.

Also, some of you are rockstars (@Rachel D.!!!) Thanks for keeping the community positive and offering really helpful advice!