If a cash bar is unacceptable, what do you suggest people do instead?

You've opened the worm can!

I'm the UO opinion as well, I'm having a cocktail hour that is open bar then cash bar for the remainder. I'm also from MA and only one of the weddings I've ever attended was cash bar (I've gone to at least 8 as an adult). That being said, the cash bar did not alter my fun in anyway. The open bar wedding had half empty cocktails throughout the venue along with VERY intoxicated guests.

ETA: Clarification

We had a tight budget. We cut down our guest list and are not having flowers. Fortunately, arch and centerpieces came complementary with the venue. We had to do stations instead of plated, and are skipping favors. There were other small areas where we managed to cut costs. But we have open bar with premium liquor. I think at the very least there should be wine and beer for the guests. There really is no acceptable alternative to an open bar.

Would you invite someone over for dinner and charge them $12 for that glass of wine you poured?

Side note: I am totally with you on destination weddings. I think they are gross and selfish. I used to sell them for a while as part of a larger scope job, and any illusions I might have had went down the drain when I saw how the metaphorical sausage was made. People who have DWs at resorts are straight up using their guests to get a free vacation. Their room is free, the wedding itself is free, and the guests are paying thousands of dollars to indirectly subsidize that for the couple.

I grew up in Mesa, AZ, we have a very large LDS population. With that being said I have been to many dry weddings, most were more like backyard, stop by things after their Temple ceremony that everyone can't attended anyway. The other more formal LDS weddings I attended were always dry and everyone was dancing, as this is what they were used too. But you wouldn't find me o n the dance floor until I have about three trips to my car for my own refreshments. I was however in these circumstance the minority as in there were only 4 or 5 of us who drank alcohol.

To those saying you'd be more offended if you weren't invited to a close friend/family's wedding because they cut the list to afford open bar instead.

if they are that close to you, you probably wouldn't be the person cut. The great aunt or distant cousin they see once a year or less would/should probably be the ones being cut instead.

@StPaulGal - honestly I don't keep alcohol in the house, so I just would not offer it. - I offer what I have. But I guess if I knew someone was a wine drinker I would probably make sure I had some, so I guess you are correct there.

@Richard - I offer what I have, FH and I rarely drink so the stuff is just not in the house.

Also @StPaulGal - So true and I also feel like you are indirectly making your guests open their wallets for your wedding... like it's not really a vacation for your guests... and I realize your guests can always RSVP no, but if they are close family, its going to feel like an obligation to attend.

FH's cousin just announced she was engaged last week on FB, didn't even send out formal invitations, just made a FB post saying for family and friends to message her if they are coming and that the wedding is going to be 11/11/17 - how rude.

I honestly thought that if you had a destination wedding, you literally paid for everything. I can't imagine creating a scenario like that for my guests. The couple is basically choosing a vacation for their guests while their guests pay for theirs.

@Celia--I wish! Now that would be a destination wedding I could get on board with!

It's not true 100% of the time, but basically any time a couple is having a DW at an all-inclusive resort, they are getting everything for free and their guests are each paying hundreds of dollars per night to be there. The basic wedding package at those place is comped, or possibly comes with a very small fee (one I dealt with was $15 per person, total.) The hotel will offer every X room free; for example, book 5 rooms and the 6th is free. The free rooms are really just a monetary credit, and if you convince a bunch of people to come, you get a *massive* credit. Of course they could spread the free stays out over their nearest and dearest, but that never seemed to happen.

Some couples my company booked were able to get a huge luxury suite for a week or more, plus first class airfare for absolutely free. And on top of that, people give them gifts. So really, each and every guest is handing over wads of cash (not to mention burning through their vacation time) to earn a free luxury vacation for the bride and groom.

You can do a cash tab where you put so much on the bar and then after that's been met they pay in cash. that way they can at least get 2- 3 drinks free

Its not that big of a deal to me. Its my unpopular opinion but I'm there for the couple and the food. it just seems rude to throw a fit if its a cash bar. Like obviously they're doing the best they can with what they have. but different strokes for different folks

I'm sure plenty of people won't like this, but we did two drink tickets per guest as well as champagne on the tables.

Oh god, drink tickets seem even worse somehow.

It just seems so weird to me to have a cash bar at a wedding. It’s like you’re saying that you want the fun party atmosphere, but you’re too cheap to pay for it.

If someone can’t afford a full open bar, then I would advise them to stick to beer and wine and find a venue that lets you bring in your own alcohol. My beer, wine, and mimosa bar came out to around $14/person, and I was able to return unopened bottles to Total Wine, so it really cost even less than that. It can be affordable if you plan for it and have your priorities straight.

My friend just had a wedding that had a limited open bar. They paid the venue a certain amount, like up to $2,000 for example, and once that limit was hit it turned into a cash bar. It seemed to work out well.

Beer and wine only is a possible solution. Some places will let you put bottles of wine on the table, have a signature drink, or cover only well drinks.

Offer just beer/wine and/or signature drink. I attended a dry Thursday night wedding where I didn't mind because I had to work the next day anyway.

"Work out well" for whom, @Lindsay? The people who chugged half a dozen drinks quickly before the money ran out? Or the person in line behind them, who watched them drink for free and then got a $10 charge when they asked for their second drink of the night?

@StPaulGal, judgey much? Not all DWs are like this. We are having a DW and the guests will NOT be subsidizing anything!! They get the room for $50 less than normal, and I am paying the same rate as they are.

Every single person coming is excited to be taking a long weekend and getting a mini-vacation at the beach.

@cantwaitforthedate - she said not ALL are like that.

@StPaulGal - I mean, I could cut my guest list, you're right, but I would be disowned from any of the 68 people in my family I decide to cut in order to properly host. The only thing my family would remember about my wedding is how I didn't invite Auntie ___ or whoever I decided to cut.

So no, it's not always the best option for some people. This is why, in these threads, I always suggest pushing your wedding back so you have longer to save up to have an open bar. Cutting the guest list is a terrible non-solution for people with families like mine.

Also, just to make it clear, I am having an open bar at my wedding.