If a cash bar is unacceptable, what do you suggest people do instead?

The lengths humans stretch themselves for alcohol. Interesting.

@Kelsey I totally agree - and this is coming from someone with an open bar, if I could not afford it, it would not be happening.

A family member who disowns you because you can't afford to invite everyone to a party?

Seriously?

I had never heard of a cash bar wedding until WW. I've also never been to an open bar wedding. I've been to dry weddings, church weddings with cake and punch and weddings with only champagne toast. I can honestly say that the cash bar thing is the one thing I've been shocked by the most. I will never understand setting up a car and asking your guest to buy drinks at your party. That just does not make sense to me. I also don't see anything wrong with a dry wedding cause that is the norm where I'm from. At my wedding we are having beer, wine and a signature drink. The majority of our guests are not big drinkers or they are drink on special occasion drinkers. And my wedding is a special occasion and we plan on a party atmosphere for the reception. Now don't get me wrong, I can dance the night away sober as can be and so can most of my friends and family. But this is just one of those special events where we are all letting lose so to speak.

@Celia - I mean, is that much from different from everyone here who claims they would side-eye and "bash the bride and groom behind their backs" for having a cash bar?

Both are petty, but I would have absolutely pushed my wedding back to avoid hurting family members who only want to be a part of my wedding day, not cut them from the guest list.

Wine and beer only.

Anyone who would literally disown you for not being able to afford to invite them to a party does not deserve a place in your life. That is beyond petty and awful.

Yes. It's different.

UO - we're having a dry wedding for religious reasons, 90% of our guests believe the way we do, and the other 10% are my mothers family and will be taking advantage of the open bar at the after party on her dime.

Now - here's my take on the entitlement on this post. YES - everyone has the right to get married, but NO - not everyone is entitled to have a big party.

If you're going to have alcohol as an option - you pay for it. You don't invite someone over for dinner and ask them to pay for their meal or drink - why should it be any different for a party?

Others have said it but guest list is key! I'm providing alcohol but I'm also only having 25 guests. I invited how many I could afford.

If you can't afford it then don't do it. If it's outside of your budget you cut down on guest list, don't have expensive liquor and, or cut back on other expenses but then again have at least beer and wine. It's tacky to ask for money especially with cash bars.

Downsize the bar choices. Cut the list. Stay away from premium liquor. My family and I were at odds about this because I refuse to have a cash bar

Our wedding is dry as it is at 11am with a luncheon reception. I don't drink, don't keep alcohol in the house but FH is a social drinker. If I were invited to a wedding and it was a cash bar I would not be offended - too many people are sue-happy and afraid of liability. I do agree that if it is not a religious issue, and you want to serve drinks, serve wine and beer and a signature drink. It is a pickle and there is usually someone who is going to drink and drink.....and drink. We had open bar at my first wedding but luckily people were mellow.

Thanks for bringing this back up Mrs. Hanson. You da real MVP.

/s

We chose to have a 2 year long engagement, so that we had enough time to save up and afford all the things we wanted. No need to rush walking down the aisle. Of course, we already live together, though. If your religion prevents you from moving in together before marriage, then I can understand the desire to rush and tie the knot asap. Otherwise, no need to rush. Take your time. Save as much as you can. Throw the wedding of your dreams. Good things take time!

Wow Mrs. Hanson I bet your husband who is a social drinker is absolutely thrilled that he can't have a drink at his own wedding. Poor guy.

We started buying gift cards to Walmart about a year out. I priced everywhere and that was the best price and they price match!

So I purchased about $50 a pay and we just budgeted for it. So when it was time to buy the alcohol we had enough money to get everything.

Also make sure to read your venues contract... mine was specific that we are NOT allowed to sell alcohol. So we have to have an open bar. But we can do all the alcohol ourselves which saves a ton of money! We have a family friend who is a bartender and she offered to do it for free as our wedding gift.

But we did 4 beers (Budlight, Corona, Great Lakes & Angry Orchard)

4 wines (Riesling, chardonnay, merlot, cabernet)

2 liquors- Jack, Vodka. With Mixers, Cups, Ice and limes for under $2000

We Have about 140 adults over 21 at our wedding.

And anything unopened can be returned.

1) Do a consumption tab.

2) Pare back the guest list.

3) Host the wedding during the brunch hour, so it would be appropriate to limit the booze options to mimosas and Bloody Marys.

4) Elope (effectively the most extreme take on 2).

We are getting married on a Thursday, my dad didn't want to do an open bar because he felt like a lot of people wouldn't drink. And being I have never been to a dry wedding or cash bar wedding, I refused to be the first. We talked to our venue and asked what other options they could offer. The venue agreed to running a bar tab, so I guess a consumption bar, up to the cost of the open bar. So our open bar would have cost us 4500 dollars with tax and service. If the bar tab reaches that, it will switch to open bar. If not, we will just pay whatever the bar tab is at the end of the night. So we have budgeted for the open bar, but could be surprised and pay less. This could be a good option if you "don't have a lot of people who drink" since that seems to always be everyone's excuse for cash bar or dry wedding. Or it's a random Thursday night and everyone, including your bridal party, is going back to work the next day, which happens to be our situation. Lol

We are simply offering a choice of beer and margaritas. My venue allows us to do as we choose so we did think of letting our close friends who will stay and celebrate with us for the long haul bring in anything else they would like for themselves but haven't decided for sure on that part yet