How to deal with too many people!?

Well, you can take offense to me not planning my wedding the way you advise... but I merely wanted your opinion to see how it sized up against Others opinions I have been gathering (as I said previously). A lot more people have said they would be fine with it... but I just wanted to see if you guys would be okay with it or want to light it on fire.

Just because someone asks for your advice, doesn't mean they are obligated to follow it. Again, that would be impossible as I have gotten differing advice from different forums. It will weigh in my final decision, don't worry.... your internet words are not completely wasted and I will let my mom know that some might find it rude. But don't get your panties in a bundle if I don't follow the advice to a T

I said I knew you guys would judge more harshly on the Traditional Etiquette side of things here, I didn't say "I Knew you'd all hate the idea!!" haha I was genuinely curious what the outcome would be....

Cringing from the situation and the fact you used "gotten". Dad is paying so I guess

You have to do that...

But.... "have gotten" is proper American English... I don't understand.... unless you're from Britain... lol

And yeah... I'm am just not so worried about it since most of these "Tiered" guests would be ones that neither me nor mom think should be invited anyways... but dad will say "But they supported me when I was running for mayor!" Among other excuses that could lead to literally the whole town coming since... After all... the whole town voted for him just about! >.<

Hate to say it but I would be glad Daddio is paying for it. A lot of us have to find the money ourselves and cut our guests lists to bare minimums, leaving people off we really want to invite.

Is the $4k, 150-person venue fully paid for or just a deposit? Barring a new church, you do what you have to do at this point. I personally feel the "tiered" where you invite people to dinner but not the ceremony is less bad than a ceremony and dancing but not the dinner part in the middle to cheap out. It's not like a lot of strangers are going to be all dewy eyed at your vows. Is it the best choice, no, but if Dad the mayor is willing to run the risk that the political thing could backfire by being seen as rude, then go for it.

Ummm no

Absolutely not

So rude

You either invite everyone to the entire celebration or you don't

Invite that many people

Ughhh

"have gotten" really isn't proper English. It's pretty archaic and I feel it should be avoided! Just my advice from an English/ anthropology major. Saying "I've received " is far better. Have a fun day!

I wasn't sure if this post warranted this but I have decided that the answer is yes.

Too be honest a tiered wedding the OTHER way - invite to ceremony only and not reception - is FAR more rude than this option. The reception is the good part and most people would rather go to that than the ceremony. Also, these "reception only" people are people you don't even know. Would you really want them at the ceremony anyway? Are you even going to see them again after the wedding? Personally, I wouldn't care about the tiered wedding aspect. You are inviting them to a party and if they don't want to attend, they can decline. It seems like you have no other option since your dad won't give in. I would just go ahead with your idea.

Gag me.

So you came on to ask for advice you had ZERO intention of taking? Then bitch because you were told to lay it out for your dad, and/or fix the problem appropriately so YOU don't end up looking like the rude, clueless, classless bride when shit falls apart. Ooookay.

If he's paying, guess what, princess? He DOES get to dictate how it goes. Even if that means making you look bad, which is exactly what's going to happen. Have fun with that, because your daddy is going to drag you through the mud so he can play politician.

Guest #1 to guest #2: "wasn't that a lovely ceremony?"

Guest #2: "what ceremony?"

Guest #1: "oh, you weren't invited to the ceremony, I guess. Too bad, it was lovely"

Guest #2: "guess I didn't make the cut"

Nice.

As far as your capacity issues go, I guess hope it doesn't rain. That's a solid plan.

Your wedding isn't a political stunt. I'm fucking angry for you that he's using you.

Absolutely nope nope nope on this.

With all your foruming, did you ask on The Knot?

Lol at MNA. I asked a forum for advice. That means I am getting multiple answers. Sorry I didn't follow the specific advice you were hoping for.

I have already outlined why I can't "lay it out" for my dad. He wont listen to reason and if I force the issue it will just cause the opposite to happen.

And yes, I know he has a right to invite who he wants... which is again, why he IS getting to invite who he wants... geez. Who's the princess? someone who gets pissy about someone elses wedding?

I have already said I appreciate the feedback and I will take it all into consideration. We are brainstorming for other options, I dont know why half the people on this forum talk wedding etiquette as though it were life or death...

"OMG I can't believe you just killed Aunt Mildred! I think I might vomit!" Get over it. Its one day. Its an important day in my life and in my family's life. Everyone else can really get over it if they are getting invited to a huge party for free. Sorry if my opinion on the matter offends you. Again, since I've gotten a bit of negative feedback... Im brainstorming for other options so its not like I am completely disregarding the advice I have been given here... but I am in multiple facebook groups that are wedding related and almost no one has had any issues with it in those groups. People have different opinions. It's okay. Life goes on.

So I am having a small ceremony and larger reception and i still think what you are doing is rude.

A ceremony for some should be 10-15, not half the invite list.

No one is TELLING you to follow our advice.

But you came on here after asking how many opinions on how many forums? So you wanted to gather more opinions FOR WHAT?

You're like the chick who asks all her friends if she should leave her FH, 40 people say yes except for the one person who says stick it out. So guess whose advice she takes. That ONE person who says to stick it out.

Then on top of that, you come on here with a fucking attitude???

Girl, goodBYE!

I am not the one with the bad attitude! People are saying "Gag me!" and being extremely rude to me... while telling me I am rude.. what? And yes, people Are telling me I need to follow their advice or why else did I even ask? So... I guess you didn't read the comments... which is fine, I wouldn't expect everyone to read all of the comments...

Just FYI though, I have been on two other forums and on both of those forums only One person has yet to say that it might be seen as rude. So to be honest the opinions have been about 50/50. Wedding Wire forums are known for their Etiquette Nazis... which is why I came here... just to see since only one person from the other forums said it might be seen as rude I thought... hmm... wonder what the Queen of Traditional Etiquette would think of this idea? Well... I found out. And now I am expected to bow to the Queen or leave.... Not super surprised there, but yeah, I am going to have a little bit of an attitude after everyone has been giving me theirs....

I'm still confused as to why him being mayor means the whole town has to go to his daughter's wedding. I grew up in a small town and I've never heard of this being a thing. If he wants to have party to invite people to suck up for donations and good will why doesn't he just have a party instead of taking over your wedding?

Saw this post on the rising tide. Still tacky.