How to deal with too many people!?

SO, with all of that being the way it is and unbudgable.... This is what I am proposing because that extra 150 people dad wants to invite? Are mostly people I don't even know. I want to know if it is acceptable for me to have the ceremony with My friends and family (130-150 people) and then send out a separate invitation to the remaining 150 people that says something along the lines of:

"Please join the newlywed couple to celebrate their new marriage at 7:00pm for Drinks, Dinner and Fun for all!"

Obviously I would find better wording... but thats just off the top of my head. My dad is on board with this plan and it would satisfy his need to invite political Constituents and it would still allow me the option of getting married in the beautiful chapel we paid for....

Let me know if this is doable? I am a wedding photographer and I have seen it done, but I wanted to know your thoughts...

I like it. It's creative. So right after the ceremony you want to have EVERYONE come and celebrate?

To me it sounds like a tiered wedding which is frowned upon here.

You shouldn't have a tiered wedding, but if your dad is paying and he is the one insisting on this many people, then it is on him to find a proper ceremony venue to hold them all.

ETA- spelling

This is essentially a tiered invite and pretty rude.

If your dad is paying for the wedding, he can invite however many people he wants. If not, no invites for dad.

If you want to simply have a celebration for "everyone else" (the people to please your dad) after the wedding (not the same day) I think that would be more okay, but don't call it a reception or anything. Make it clear there are no gifts, etc, because it's not a wedding reception.

Tiered weddings are rude. So they weren't there for the ceremony. But you want them to come later and still give you gifts/money. I know it's your dad wanting people there. But it's all or nothing because this is really rude.

You need a different back up venue. That's your only option.

Nooooo

Stories like this make my blood boil. So you don't have space for these people but you truly believe your dad would go behind your back and invite them? That sucks. If you aren't going to put your foot down, then I guess it's time to find a new church cause tiered weddings are rude af

Can you put a shock collar on your dad, and whenever he invites someone he gets zapped?

No, seriously, this is a tiered wedding and I realize you can't control him, but maybe you need to have a real chat and say "This is not okay, here are X number of reasons why, let me explain in detail." It's not unbudgeable, you just need to put on your big girl pants and tell your dad to knock it off.

Is dad paying for these extra guests?

For my first marriage my Dad was also the mayor of my small town & would have insisted on having that many people as well so instead I went to Jamaica & got married. I have no advice other than to say I wouldn't do a tiered wedding but I do understand how small town politics would affect your guest list.

Have you tried telling him that a wedding that large with many people you aren't close to is not the experience and feel you want to have on your wedding day? And to please respect your wishes. I agree tiered weddings are best avoided. You really have to explain to him that this is an intimate day for you, not a socialite party. Amanda's idea of eloping in Jamaica is also pretty much on point

No, it's not a good idea. It's rude. The ONLY time this is acceptable is if you have a private ceremony, meaning immediate family only, then a bigger reception. Inviting half the town to the ceremony and all of the town to the reception? Gross. Cut the guest list, or if daddy is paying ( he doesn't get a say if he isn't) then he needs to find another venue that accommodates everyone. Period.

Maybe mayor dad can pull some strings and find you a new back up chapel that will hold all of the people he is planning on inviting?

It sounds like you really don't have much choice in the matter, and I'm so sorry about that because I can't imagine how little time you'll have to enjoy your wedding with a guest list that large. Maybe you can talk to your dad about that and come to some sort of a compromise?

Trust me, I have explained all of this, and since we have already put down $4,000 on the venue, we cannot change this late in the game. He took This long to tell me about all of the guests and yes he is paying so he feels he has the right to invite them all. Ugh, I am SO tired of people telling me, "Why dont you just explain to him this or that". As I tried to make clear in the original post, he Will. Not. Budge. And yes, he would invite 500 people if I tried to bitch slap him into doing what I want... thats how he would see it.

It is too late to find another venue... and dad is already coughing up about 6-12K more to invite these people to the reception. If I were really fishing for gifts I would just invite them to the ceremony and not even Have a recepetion because the damn reception is whats so expensive. The ceremony is 15 minutes and if it lasts any longer, dont lie, you get bored AF...

Im glad to hear all of yalls opinions and I will definitely take it into account that you think its rude. I've put this out on other forums first to see how this idea fared (knowing WW would be the harshest critic haha) and everyone else said it would be fine.

And to be honest... maybe I don't even care if its a tad bit rude. If Dad thinks its okay and the only reason he is inviting them is because he feels obligated as Mayor to invite them (Literally he is inviting people that talk bad about him throughout the town even...) and I have never seen them in my life... then so be it... if its rude to invite them to a party with free food, all you can drink full bar, cake, entertainment etc... then I don't know what I can do right! >.<

Im venting a little so don't hate on me... I am just so tired of this wedding planning I can't even sleep!

I'm curious as to why you decided to ask if you knew what the answers would be and you are just going to ignore the advice given to you.

Hmmm....well ok then! Best of luck with everything!

I like to watch wedding ceremonies, but if you only invite me to only the reception where you feed me well, provide good liquor and let me dance my ass off, I'd be fine with it.

So... you asked our opinions, we told you it's rude, and you don't care?

Then why did you ask?

Dad is paying, it's his say. Just pray for no rain.