How long is too long to be engaged?

I got engaged 4/27/18 and our wedding is 6/6/2020 so just over 2 years, we bought our home June 2019 and did a lot of renovating. honestly it was nice to not have to rush. I planned the big things first venue and photographer, by planning these things early we had our choice of vendors and venues but lots of places do book about 2 years ahead. so you may not have a lot of options for July 2020 depending what your looking for. Only you will know what you can make work financially there's no real time frame you have to follow, do what makes sense for you and your fiancé. Congratulations!

I think it really all depends on your preferences - if you're planning a larger wedding, I'd probably opt to find a house first since that's a more long-term investment, but a small/intimate wedding might be more doable if you want to get married first!

My husband proposed on 12/23/18 and we got married on 7/27/19 without it seeming crazy rushed, but I also had a "wedding savings" account I'd been funding little by little, which made a big difference on the financial side. Nothing wrong with enjoying a long engagement if you want, and when we bought our house it seemed like there wasn't really any benefit to being married vs. engaged/dating.. at least in our region.

My fiance and I have been engaged for 2 years and will be getting married in 5 months. It all depends on your timeline! We definitely needed that 2 and a half year engagement because we were moving out of state and wanted to have our careers established before we got married. Also those years helped us save lots of money! You should do whatever feels right.

I got engaged june 2019 and wont be getting married to July 2021. I really wanted to get married July 2020 but we were accepted on a house 2 weeks after our engagement and we were looking for months on a house and said our house was more important so lets deal with wedding planning in 2020. It has gone really fast but its so hard to save when your still dealing with a house. Just have to keep trying and find a budget! Good luck

Congratulations on your engagement!!! It's so exciting and I totally understanding the conflict of wants to get married right now and the desire to wait. I'd like to say - i don't think it's impossible to do it that quickly, but you'd be compromising on some things potentially. I also don't think that waiting until 2022 is too long at all.

Me and my FH were in a very similar situation: We got engaged December 23rd on 2017. Our wedding date is this September 12th (2020) - absolutely NO regrets in choosing to wait. In the time between the proposal and now, I finished graduate school, we bought a house, and have been saving up to have the wedding of our dreams and sweep away on a honeymoon right afterwards! (When we started we NEVER saw this as a possibility, and NOW we're taking a four week long honeymoon in Europe - This is all because we had a longer than usual engagement!!! and save save saved, and went crafty, and waited for deals, etc.)

As exciting as it is to want to just "be married already"! I'd think about what you guys realllllly want. If you really just want to be married then you can forgoe the large reception, etc. By July 2020, I think you could manage a pretty wedding and save lots by going to a courthouse and meeting family for dinner and drinks afterwards, and getting a beautiful dress from the brides catalog at Macy's ($500 and less). Though, you may compromise on things like going dress shopping, picking bridesmaids, having a big shower, doing a bachelorette weekend, etc. Like, how important is going bridal gown shopping with your best friends and sipping champagne to you? lol! Many couples opt for this route and love their day. It's still fun and beautiful, and all about you and love. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that, and it's a lot more popular than the "wedding business" wants people to believe.

On another note, the longer you have the more crafty you can be and more savvy with the $$$. For example, I was able to purchase everything I need to make everyone's bouquets, boutonnieres and corsages for $50. (For 8 maids, 8 groomsmen, and a whole family of ppl for corsages, etc.) I kid you not, I waited on baited breath for Michael's to have their big sale and i swept in like a hawk and bought that stuff on major discount. (Something that could have potentially costed us almost $****, now only costed $50.) You can also book certain venues/vendors and "Lock In" their end of year pricing depending on who you get which can save you some money if you have a 2+ year engagement as pricing tend to go up each year. If you're anything like I was for the last 2 years, you will be appreciative of the time to get things in order instead of forgoing all the things you want. (Me and my FH were friends all throughout Highschool and went to prom together - literrally talked and dreamed about being older and having a wedding and all the things, so as a part of our relationship I really couldn't see myself saying F-it, and just going for the paper. We wanted to celebrate that we made it here together and do the things we wanted.) The long time can be made up for with other fun pre-wedding events too so you don't feel like it's never going to happen!

What about late 2021? We got engaged September of 2019 and our wedding is October 2021. We're waiting a bit because, to be honest, all of the venues were already booked up for 2020! But it's also really nice to know that we don't have to pay for all of our wedding this year and gives us more time to save and plan. So while, yes, it's a long wait -- I personally feel like it's worth it. Besides, you guys have been together for a while, same with my FH and I -- what's one more year, when you're spending the rest of your lives together?

That sounds very brave but that is completely up to you. If you can handle planning it that fast, go for it.

I got engaged in November of 2018, our wedding is November 2020. We planned our budget with the scenario "if no one gives us money" and how much of our monthly income - expenses + emergency fund can, = what the monthly "bill" would be for our wedding. It resulted in having a bit of a longer engagement but also not being financially put out. We also bought a home in March of 2019, etc. If you're worried about finances, I would suggest a longer engagement. IMO going into debt over a wedding is starting your new marriage at a strain and that is fun for no one. OR low cost- option it... I remind myself on a weekly basis that it is ONE day vs the marriage for a LIFETIME.... what is the best decision for your future?

We got engaged in December 2018 and our wedding is set for March 2021. I think a 2022 wedding makes perfect sense, especially if you know you want to be able to budget for the wedding you really want. We got engaged right after college so much like you, we were both just starting our careers and also knew we really wanted to buy a house (which we were able to do this year!). At this point it would be pretty difficult to plan a summer 2020 wedding as most places will be booked by now.

I think it would help you to talk about what type of wedding you envision. If you are thinking of planning a small, casual ceremony with just close family and friends, or doing a backyard or courthouse wedding in a simple chic dress, you could definitely pull it off in just 6-7 months. But if you want an elaborate ceremony with a fancy dress, lots of guests, a gorgeous venue, full wedding parties, and pre-wedding showers and such, I think that is just not enough time to plan or save.

If you are young, haven't been dating that long, are just starting your careers, don't have a lot of money set aside, and have other big things to plan for (buying a home), I'd definitely have a longer engagement. I think 1-2 year engagements are pretty typical, so getting engaged in Christmas of 2019 and married in 2022 sounds super reasonable to me. You'll have so much more time to plan and save for the wedding you really want, and those extra couple years together will help you make sure your future plans are aligned and you have established your careers and home prior to undertaking a wedding.

I think 8 to 18 months would be ideal. That gives you enough time to plan, but doesn't drag on to long. Mine was 12 month and honestly I am so tired of waiting. That being said it would have been much more stressful to plan a wedding in less than 8 months.

That being said, if you want to focus on getting a house and have a long engagement there is nothing wrong with that. I have 2 friends who had a 2 and a 2.5 years engagement.

If I were you, I would have a small wedding within a year or two. If you keep the guest list under 50 people, that will help keep the budget down. Then that would allow you to also save for a house!

Agree with others that you and fiance need to first make sure you are very clear on your priorities regarding your living situation, finances, and what you want for your wedding (it could be as cheap as the cost of the license at your local courthouse or tens of thousands of dollars). Has anyone (like parents) offered to contribute to the cost of the wedding? If so, have they proposed a specific dollar amount and timetable for their contribution? If NOT, you need to assume you and fiance will be covering the total cost of the wedding and make all your decisions with that in mind. Once you've talked all that through, lay out your budget considerations: housing, bills, savings, wedding, etc., and figure out how much you will have to/want to allot to each category. As far as the wedding goes, once you know what you can save monthly toward the wedding, you can calculate how many months you'll need to save up the total you are comfortable spending. When daughter first started planning, we looked online at the "average cost of a wedding in ___ city" calculators. We were shocked and didn't believe it when the calculator predicted $30,000, and were sure we could do it for $20,000 or less (100 guests). Yeah, 18 months later, when everything was said and done, not including their rings, honeymoon, attendant gifts, etc., their really lovely, but not extravagant, wedding came in right around $30,000.... Once you have real numbers to work with, you'll be in a better situation to figure out the timing of everything. Good luck and congratulations on your engagement!