How long is too long to be engaged?

One of my bridesmaids got engaged in late December and married in mid-July. My response was "I hope you already went dress shopping."

July 2020 sounds uhhh ambitious. If your funds are already low, speeding this thing up isn't going to help you. I'd urge you to give yourself at least 9 months to plan a wedding.
If I were you, I'd spend the next few months saving and then evaluate.
We got engaged, bought a house 2 months later, and we are getting married 10 months after home buying.
It's still tight and nerve wracking even though we were in a fairly decent spot financially. If I had to do it over again, I'd opt for an 18-24 month engagement versus the 12 we took.

Hi McKenna, I think you are very clear thinking, 2022 isn't that far off, putting yourselves in good shape financially would be very responsible for your future! It will also give you more time to look at all options for what you really want your wedding day to look like, plenty of time to try on dresses and find that DREAM DRESS, I shopped for over a year before I found my perfect dress, I tried on more than 30, so don't rush, you love each other, plan for your future together!!

It’s really up to you and your priorities. We were engaged for 21 months and have absolutely zero regrets. We had tons of time to plan and it was virtually stress free. There’s no such thing as being engaged for “too long.” Getting married also doesn’t have to be expensive. You can get married at the courthouse for <$50 (depending on where you live.)

We got engaged 11/19/19 and quickly set a date of 9/12/20.


I think 9 months is the minimum you should plan for. I sometimes wish we would have set our date in 2021. Just because we are buying a house this year and our honeymoon is a bulk of our expenses. It’s doable! But just little stressful

We got engaged in May 2019 and our wedding is set for June 2021. 2 years seems like a long time, but it’s worth it for the peace of mind that we’ll be more financially capable of paying for our big day. If you’re already living together, the marriage part is an added bonus, but remember you’re already living like you’re married and the actual wedding will just make it official. You shouldn’t rush forever if it’s going to add extra stress to your lives. Financial problems are one of the leading causes of divorce (next to infidelity), so you don’t want to start your marriage off with even more stress.

It comes down to what you want for your big day. Are you dreaming of something specific? We are in the same boat, but we saved for 1 full year before we got engaged and are set to get married in a year. I don't think any time constraint is undo-able if you're willing to compromise on some area. However, have you considered getting married in 2021 instead? That would allow you to purchase a home this year and maybe set a venue and photographer now and then save for the wedding at the end of this year to early 2021? Every bride is unique and every journey is unique.

I have a long engagement (11/18/18) and we aren't getting married until 8/21/21. Pros: saving for what we want. Cons: rethinking everything and just wanting it to be here.
We have been together 7 years now so it's just a kick ass party to us. Sometimes I feel like divorcing him now lol jk.

We became engaged 12/31/17 and will be getting married 10/9/20. We're paying for everything ourselves and wanted to have time to budget while not having to sacrifice or take away from raising our last 2 children from previous relationships.

I got engaged 12/24/19 and we're getting married 8/21/21. It feels like a lifetime away lol, but at least I have time to plan it perfectly. We're buying a house this year so maybe that will keep my mind occupied. My parents are paying for the bulk of the wedding and we'll pitch in.

I would talk to a realtor in your area and see how the housing market is. Where I am it’s high right now so we are waiting on the house. Another consideration is that house shopping can take a while especially if you are a first time buyer. So your timeframe for home buying and wedding might get skewed. Another thing to consider (again depending on where you are) some places have special tax breaks for first time home buyers and other financial incentives which could help with things. Also if you and/or your partner have bad credit or one of you has spotty employment it might be easier for one of you to buy the house before you get hitched so I’d also look into the financial aspects of your timing. Ultimately investing in property is probably a better use of the money practically speaking but I understand the urge to get married sooner. You can always get hitched at the courthouse and buy your house and then save for the big party. But whatever you two choose will be right for you.

Hello and congrats on you engagement! I just got engaged this past Christmas Eve as well (twins) I don’t think there is anything wrong with a longer engagement. It is actually becoming more common these days as more couples are paying for their own weddings and to do so we have to give our selves enough time to save for the big day. Set a budget a number you need fiancé don’t want to exceed for the wedding (outs is 10,000 with everything last thing included) then set a budget per vendor that equates to that budget number you set for the entire wedding. Don’t forget to include things like your dress his suit, hair makeup, alterations etc. figure out when in 2022 you’d like to get married then set a number you and fiancé can comfortably save per paycheck till two weeks prior to your wedding date (that is when most vendors require final payment.) while you’re saving for the wedding also tuck money aside towards buying your house. This is the tactic my fiancé and I are using. We are planning for a 17 month engagement but we’ve begun saving the first paycheck of last December and still have money to put towards our other savings not wedding related. I suggest making a spread sheet of all your cost and expenses and seeing how much you both spend per month and how much you can comfortably save for wedding and for the house and still have some pocket money left over. Good luck!

We got engaged in July 2019 and are planning our wedding for January of 2022. This allows us to save more money, spread out payments, and we had our choice of vendors. Not one vendor I reached out to was already booked for our date. I of course wish it was sooner, but this is what works for us. We are also trying to buy a starter house or condo this year.

We got engaged in July 2018 and won’t be married until October 2020. I love the long engagement because it gave us time to enjoy being engaged and really decide what we want our wedding to be and have. That being said, I would definitely go back and do a long engagement again! I wouldn’t want to stress about an already tight budget and trying to find “last minute” vendors on top of that!

Honestly, it comes down to what you guys want. A long engagement is not weird in the slightest, and sometimes with finances that's the only option. My FH and I got engaged in August and will be married in April, mostly because neither of us wanted to wait much longer than that. But that's us, and we were willing to have a quieter affair without things like bridal showers and a day wedding with a smaller budget. It's up to you guys what feels right!!

Take your time. Moat people are engaged at least 1 year and with everything you have going, I would give it time. You could also go to the courthouse and have a reception later. I know a few people who did it that way. But if the big luxurious wedding is what you long for then save up and do it. Good luck and congratulations!

It depends on you honestly. Some people are engaged 3 years before planning a wedding and other get married just a few months after. Everyone is different. It only depends on what you and your fiance would like to do. Either way you go, I'm happy for the both of you. Congratulations on the engagement.

Def up to you and your preference. We got engaged July 2019 n our date is may 9 2020. We wanted a short engagement period since we are having a low budget simple wedding. If you want it sooner rather than wait you may have to budget and do a lot of DIY or even consider different ways to cut costs. In the end it is up to you and your FH!

What if you do 2021? Seems like a good middle ground!

Nothing is weird or wrong, it's your day, its your life, you do what makes the most sense to you both!

We got engaged in June 2018 and we are marrying April 2020 so 2 years.