How do you handle bridesmaid drama.

It sucks when they change their mind last minute. Yea situations change but they already agreed. You cannot really tell them how to do their hair color. The style is one thing but not the color. The makeup style, I would be strong about. I told my girls nude lips and nude shoes.

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Thanks! Done

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Its does, I have now have a few options how do deal with it that I didn't really think through fully til this post, more than like the girls who dont want to will just put that deposit toward my self or there tip and have less to pay in the end. Most of all I just need to not get worked up over it, its all pretty petty things. I know that all of my girls will look amazing not matter what

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I grew up in the same area and have family out there. Which place is doing your catering?

Some of these responses I just don’t understand. I’ve simply been brought up a different way. I’ve been raised that if you said yes to standing up in a wedding and the bride said hair is $70 and makeup is $70 then you just say okay. If you didn’t allocate enough money for these costs then you found a way because at the end of the day if you are the brides friend and you love her then you do what you’re told. It’s not your day. I think if you’re friends don’t want to pay for costs they already agreed to pay then they’re shitty friends. It’s not a situation anyone wants to be in. You have a vision and I think bridesmaid should have some idea of how much they’re spending when they say yes. If they didn’t save like they should have then they probably should not have agreed to be in the wedding. As for the hair - it’s a little rude to tell someone to dye their hair for the day. However, if she said she would as long as you let her be a bridesmaid then it’s on her. Don’t make commitments you can’t keep.

I would have to agree with almost everyone in this discussion. You're in the wrong here. I get that it's your wedding and you want everything to be picture perfect but unless you're paying for everything to be done for them then you can't demand this. You're kinda being a brat and if you lose friends over this minuscule crap, then y'all can't be good enough friends.

View Quoted Comment I agree with you. My sister has the same color red... she too also asked me to be a bridesmaid she had agreed yo dye get hair natural brown as well.. My wedding is also on sept 1st lol however my problem got worse when I chose the bridesmaid dresses... I had a rose gold picked and she didn't like it. No matter what dress I picked she managed to dislike... I ended up changing the color just for her to royal blue... once we decided on the dress and everyone was on-board she changed her mind last minute and said she didn't like it either and would only wear it if I paid for it... mind u I was choosing dresses in the $100 range... I told her no and she pretty much told me to f off and find someone else... So I did. What I learned was. Never give them options. Just tell them what you want and either they are on board or not... I don't care if they have their make up or hair done as long as it's not a crazy color and look all nappy.

( which my sister did) and just choose a dress for them. So i understand exactly where you are coming from.

I don't agree most of these comments. It's YOUR wedding and you told them upfront what you expected; whether people think it's a lot or not, you told them. If she isn't following along then she shouldn't participate

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I agree! My goodness you're so correct

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I'm making my bridesmaids cover their tattoos; I told them upfront. I don't think that's correct if people have things they want and they're upfront; the BM is in the wrong for agreeing to something they dind't wanna do

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You don't get to tell anyone what to do with their own body. Do you make her cover up your tattoo when you go out together or hang out? Your wedding is not an excuse to tell someone what they can or can't do with their own body.

View Quoted Comment I guess we can agree to disagree! That’s the beauty of different weddings

View Quoted Comment Or maybe don’t dictate what people can or can’t do with their bodies....




This whole thread is ridiculous.

You avoid the drama by not creating it. You messed up by saying yes when she forced herself upon you as a bridesmaid and now you need to accept that she is one and that you do not control her body.

Yikes.

Let her have whatever hair color she wants. If she clashes with her dress, that's on her, and won't make you look any less beautiful.

Even though hair and makeup might not be expensive and you told them a year ago, expenses pop up. I've told friends I want to do something and then backed out when it got closer because of money issues. If you're that worried about it, pay for it yourself.

I asked my girls if they wanted their hair and makeup professionally done. ALL of them said no. Am I super worried about what they'll wear? Nope. I'm concerned with what I will wear so I am paying for my own hair and makeup since I cannot afford to pay for theirs.

Let it go. It'll be fine.

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The only "duty" bridesmaids have is to support you on your big day.

If you try and change who they are even though you KNEW about hair colors, weight, tattoos, etc. why in the hell would you try and change that??????

It's rude. It's ridiculous. You love your friends for who THEY are- screw your vision, one tattoo or a different hair color won't ruin your entire wedding.

Thanks for the continued response. All is good in my bridesmaid world. I have let the girls have free reign basically I gave them a dress color and asked that I have finally say before they buy because I want to make sure they are kid and church friendly. Hair and makeup is fully also up to them I am not gonna stress over something so pity I love my friends and picked them for a reason. At this point I could careless if they have rainbow hair at the time I wrote the OG post I was super stressed and frustrated.

View Quoted Comment Amen!!!!!!!!!

View Quoted Comment What??? Read the whole original post. She said she didn’t ask her to be a bridesmaid and the girl begged. So she finally told her that if she wanted be a bridesmaid she doesn’t want her hair red. It’s pretty simple. The girl can tell her “nope, this is me and being a bridesmaid isn’t worth not dying my hair red” or she can say “yes I really want to be a bridesmaid and I’m willing to not dye my hair”. She didn’t ask her to be a bridesmaid and force her to change her look. This bride is not in the wrong.

View Quoted Comment Everyone just needs to be more supportive instead of diggining in on people. You should totally be able to post a discussion topic and not get your head ripped off. I’m sorry there were so many negative comments. There needs to be more support and positivity, or at the very least more helpful comments. Screw everyone in here that didn’t even read your whole post and understand the actual situation before posting a terribly negative comment. We are all brides and should all be allowed to have one day where our vision comes to life. AND all of our friends that we want to participate in this ONE day should love you enough to understand and go along with it because when it’s their turn you want to be able to return the favor.