How do you handle bridesmaid drama.

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She box dyes her hair lets also be clear on that she doesn't get is done in a salon and pay under 10$ each time she does it. Her normal natural hair color is Brown some times she goes green, red, blue, purple, and rainbow. All of you act like I am giving all of my girls a huge list of must when I am not

I'm having a little bit of trouble following your post. But, I agree with PP - if you require anything re:hair/makeup, you should pay for it. If they said they wanted to do it without you requiring it, then it's on them. Hopefully you can renegotiate something with your HMUA if people have reconsidered since you still have a lot of time.

And, it's totally wrong to ask anyone to change anything about themselves for your photos or whatever. One of my BM asked me if I wanted her to cover her tattoos. I was surprised that she even offered, but I said no way - you do whatever you feel most comfortable with for that day.

Usually if you are requesting use of a MUA then it's you that needs to pay for it. As much as it's your day, you can't ask people to change their personality to fit in with others and asking her to change her hair color is crossing a line.

“I have also asked all the girls to use the makeup and hair people I have chosen”- those are YOUR words.

It honestly seems like you just want us to all agree your BMs are drama, but they aren’t. You don’t want to lose friendships? Don’t tell people to change their hair color and if you want them to have pro hair and makeup, pay for it.

View Quoted Comment Again I am not requiring it, please see all my responses since clearly you all think I am so mean dictator requiring all girls to look the exact same. I am not even making them have the same dress hair shoes or makeup. I only am at a lose because all of the girls previously asked for hair and makeup so I booked which I was actually coving a portion of the cost. Let alone let them pick there own dress as long as it was the same color red and long.

Just going to repeat what everyone else said.

You can't tell a member of the BP how they should look. You decide the outfit and that's it. Period. You can't demand someone lose weight, cut hair, color hair, not get pregnant, or otherwise alter his or her appearance just for your wedding. That's incredibly rude.

If you want them to use the HMUA of your choice, you foot the bill. Yes, they agreed to it early on, but things change and finances can be very different a year later. Either they choose their own HMUA, do their own, or you foot the bill.

There is a big difference between asking someone to wear makeup in pretty natural colors vs. dying/not dying their hair. Makeup is one day and if I was your bridesmaid and you said to me "Look, idc whether or not you have it done professionally but please stick to neutral tones for eyes and lips" I would be totally cool with that. Hair colors and piercings are months-years long commitments and you can't ask someone to disrupt that for one day.

eta: I mentioned piercings bc this has come up in other threads. Add tattoos to the list while we're at it.

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Yes my words and if you read a response I said I clearly worded it incorrectly my bad I didn't think it was going to turn in to me getting attached on wedding wire. Sorry let me correct my wording. If you would like to read my other answered back. I did not make them all where the same dress I let them choose all being under 100.00 only requirement I had was length and color nothing else. As for my friend whether she dyes her hair or not that will not change her being in my wedding or me kicking her out. I was told by most of the girls that wanted there hair and make up done professional and if I could find people that are not expensive which again makeup is under 30$ I am not requiring certain shoes because they will not even be seen. SO I did told the girls they are were still fine so than I put a deposit down for both and for the amount of time needed for so many people plus I was paying for a part of it.

If you requite make up and hair, you pay for it. That's the correct etiquette and the best way to avoid drama.

Regarding the girl with the red hair, you have absolutely no right to dictate what someone does with their body. Wedding or not. She's an adult and can decide what color she wants her hair to be. Even if you think she looks better with natural hair that is not for you to decide.

I am glad you agree this is pity stuff. Let it go. Friendship is way more important than pictures.

If makeup is really $25-$30 pp, can you find a way to cover it, rather than getting stressed out about it? You still have a lot of time to save.

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I have tattoos that I will not be covering or asking anyone to do that same. Again she box dyes her hair for $10 not like she goes and pays hundreds of dollars every few month to maintain it. Also I guess I should mention when I talked to her about it not demanded or yelled or was rude she told me she was fine with it to the point of tell me she already planned to, and if she doesn't oh well I will not like kick her out the day of my wedding. I well clearly watch how I word things in the future or just not write anything on here.

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You should not have asked. That was out of line on your part. But, since you already did, and it seems she agree, how is this drama then?

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OP- you need to slow down and take a deep breath. Type a bit slower. Your posts are full of typos and run-on/incomplete sentences that make it hard to understand exactly what you are trying to say.

No one here is attacking you. It can seem that way when you are overwhelmingly told by the majority that getting upset over hair color is not cool. But trust me, no one here has been hateful or rude. If you read each post as an individual, you will see what I am saying is true.

I understand your frustration. You paid the deposit to book a hair/makeup appointment for your BMs. They agreed to pay the difference, but now they are backing out. Unfortunately, you only have a few options.

1. Offer to pay for everything.

2. Request to cancel those appointments and have the deposit applied to your HMU cost.

Those are really your only choices. Yeah it sucks, but things that may be financially feasible a year ago may not be so much now. I personally have been in situations where $25-30 would literally break me before my next paycheck. Six months before I didn't have that problem.

So you asked for advice and it was given. Don't worry about her hair. You can't change it, so let it go. You are the bride. Trust me- everyone will be looking at you. She won't mess up your pictures. People won't be giving her side-eye. Pay for the HMU or cancel the appointments and hope you can get your deposit back or credited to your own makeup. That's about it.

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My wedding is 400 people the cost is already enough, if I am not requiring shoes, expensive dresses, or even an elaborate bridal shower or bachelorette party I don't see how makeup under 30$ is me being rude or asking so much of anyone. So truthfully I only asked my girls to buy a dress

View Quoted Comment Then I don't understand the problem............

It doesn’t matter how she dyes it. You don’t have a say in her hair color. Also going to brown from bright red takes money and time. If you asked me, I wouldn’t be in the wedding. You even asking put a pressure on her.

Dont play defensive when you don’t get the response you want.

So if there’s no problem, why do you think there’s drama?

Nobody needs to have a 400 person wedding.

If you are paying for 400 guests, makeup for your bridal party should not be a problem.

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The drama was only about the appointments and deposits which from the people who answered without trying attacking me where helpful. Clearly I don't want to make anyone feel forced into anything or into paying anything. Yes maybe I did jump the gun on the appointments but sorry excitement got the best of me at the time, and also the weekend we are getting married a lot of services are already booked I am many email response on here from makeup artist that were pre-booked for that date its labor day weekend and also a balloon fest where I live. So thank you for everyone for the help and I will def try and put the money toward my own stuff if they want to do there own or whatever the case is.

View Quoted Comment I am sorry that we both have super large families and a lot of friends. I am using a family members banquet hall, using a local food service that will be buffet style and so on my total wedding will be under $15,000. So please don't assume that I am rich and paying an extreme amount of money for my wedding am I not. This is a big day for both me and MY FH for reason I do not need to explain to you and has been 7 years in the making. So thank you for tell me what I don't need to have.