How do you handle bridesmaid drama.

You avoid the drama by not requiring so much of your friends.

It crossed a line to ask your friend not to have a crazy hair color at your wedding. You get to select your BMs' attire, not change their bodies. Her hair color is up to her and is part of her personality.

If you require pro hair or makeup, you should be covering the cost. If using the MUA were optional, it would be fine to have those choosing to use the MUA pay for their own makeup. But, you are requiring them all to use your MUA and it seems that you want to select the look. You need to either pay for the makeup to ensure everyone does it, or you need to accept that your BMs have the option to do their own makeup if you aren't paying for it.

Unless you are paying for hair and makeup, you cannot require your bridal party to use these services. Also, you cannot dictate the color of one of your BM's hair. The only control you have is over attire. Please consider focusing on what truly matters. It isn't your bridal parties makeup, it isn't the color or style of their hair - it's that you are getting married.

View Quoted Comment

Although I agree with most of what you are saying. I think its kind of rude on their end for knowing of the Make up costs and agreeing then changing their minds down the line. At OP If you knew you would feel uncomfortable with your friends hair colors you probably shouldnt have agreed to have her in your bridal party in the first place.

You cant tell her how to wear HER hair. You also cant require them to do hair and makeup unless you're footing the bill.

You need to pay for their makeup if you want them all to have it done... I paid for hair and makeup for all of my bridesmaids because I wanted them all to have professionals do it. It also isn't appropriate for you to ask her to change her hair color. That's her decision, and her's alone. She is not a prop, she is your friend.

You are 100% in the wrong here. You don't tell people what color to have their hair, and if you want them to have makeup/hair done, you pay for it.

Since you are requiring them to have professional hair and makeup, you should pay for it. Otherwise, if you don't want to pay for it, you should give them the option to do it themselves. That's how it works.

I think it's okay that you told her about her hair color. I've already told one of my really good childhood friends don't do anything crazy with your hair. Her mom even told me to tell her as well. I think its based off you guys relationship and how you express it to her. Makeup wise I think if you want them to have the same face you should pay for it that way everyone will look the same.

I don’t understand how this comes up so frequently. Presumably, your wedding party should be made up of the people you’re closest to. If one of my closest friends told me they didn’t like something about my body and I needed to change it to be in their wedding, I wouldn’t be in their wedding and I wouldn’t be friends with them anymore.


You don’t get to dictate her hair color, and if you want all their makeup to match, you pay for it.

Her hair color is, frankly, not your business. If you didn't want her to be in your wedding you should've politely declined the offer. If you require hair and make up, you should pay for it. These are your friends, not Barbie dolls to dress up for pictures.

I think a lot of people agree to things that are far off in the future, but then as reality comes closer, they realize the actual cost of things. I think the OP bride needs to pay for all the girls' makeup, or let them all do what they wish.

I think a lot of brides choose too many bridesmaids that they are really not as close to as they might be.

It seems like this is a current theme for postings? I am not going to reiterate what PP's have said, but you are in the wrong here.

I am assuming that this person is someone that you are close to and not just interested in them being a filler in your photos. You have made your request regarding her hair, the rest is up to her. As she is a beloved friend that you do not own nor control, you don't determine what she does with her body.

Regarding the MUA and concerns about red glitter, give them a couple of ideas for looks that they can use as inspiration. If you are deadset against allowing them to do their own hair or makeup, then pay for it.

View Quoted Comment Which this is kind of a shock I have been in 3 wedding which the brides had required we uses there services or that we try to look with hair and makeup as close to everyone else a possible. So no crazy makeup and hair to not out show the bride since it was her day. So we were told natural looking make up and so on. As for the cost of Hair and makeup originally when I talked to everyone, EVERYONE agreed and wanted it done as long as I didn't have it super expensive(Which its not makeup is $25, and all but one asked me to have my hair dresser do there hair so I did book ahead which is why I said required to use) other wise I wouldn't have gotten makeup and hair people for anyone other than myself, so I may have word this horribly( My bad I didn't think everyone on here was going to attack me) to make myself look like a BRIDEZILLA which I am far from. Most of them requested it from the beginning I am not asking them to buy fancy shoes or anything really besides there dresses which again I made sure as not over $100 as asked by some of the party. The point of asking for help is what to do since I did already schedule and put down money for these service that were asked for by most of my party.

Also as for not being close with my wedding party

1 maid of honor- my best friend known for 23 years

Bridesmaid 1- My cousin who I help raised since she was 5

Bridesmaid 2&3- FH sisters who I am close with and have been for 10plus years

Bridesmaid 4&5- also close friends that are in my everyday life for over 10 years

and last is my 10 year old daughter

So for everyone who tried to say I am just using picture fillers or not actually close with these girls you are extremely wrong. Nor am I trying to force my opinion on anyone or what I like I LET THEM ALL CHOOSE THERE OWN DRESS that fit there body best so that no one is uncomfortable or forced to be in a dress they will never wear again so they can have multiple use out of the dress they paid for. I also do not care about what shoes are wore since all of the dresses are long.

View Quoted Comment But you’re trying to force one of your BMs into a specific hair color which, IMO, negates all the other things you aren’t forcing them into.

View Quoted Comment

The fact that you've been to weddings with bad etiquette doesn't excuse you from using bad etiquette.

View Quoted Comment So the hair and makeup wasn't required, you gave them all a choice, and only booked appointments for those who said, "I want ___ done professionally"? There's a big difference between that and what your OP said.

I think you asked too early what they'd like done. Sometimes pro hair or makeup sounds good really far out, but it's not until it gets closer that people realize it's not realistic for them to pay for it. My answer remains the same. If you don't want to cancel the appointments and you want say in how your BMs do their hair or makeup, you need to eat the cost and pay. If it's truly optional, though, you need to try to cancel the appointments for this who have changed their minds. Perhaps the salon can apply the portion of your deposit that was holding the appointments that are now unwanted towards the amount you owe for your hair and makeup day-off.

View Quoted Comment

I am no making her I had asked I am not holding her down and dying her hair people!! If its red on my wedding day oh well I will not hate her or kick her out or not let her be apart I made a suggestion so that she is actually still seen not just red hair red dress red everything, in the end it is her own choice.

View Quoted Comment My MOH had a red dress and red hair and she was still seen. I don’t even understand what that means.