How do you deal with inviting your "B" list wedding guests?

Good question. We were able to increase our budget and we really want you there?

(holds pinocchio-like nose to prevent growth)

I told friends that I couldn't originally invite that I had some family that aren't able to make it, so I'd love for them to come. Obviously they understood that family should be invited first, so no one minded.

Ann, aren't you already married?

I do not believe in B lists. People have some incredibly complicated ways of sending invites in batches, having different RSVPs dates, etc. But most of all, I do not believe that anyone should "fill up" anybody's seat. We invited people we wanted to celebrate with. It's not like we were shooting for a particular number so that seats had to be filled in.

Mrs. S. - Yes, I am happily married, but I am somehow always involved/in weddings and I have a inspirational wedding advice website, so I'm always exploring different areas.

My SIL is soon to marry and I know she is facing this issue. I just was looking for the best way to handle it.

Mrs. S. - Yes, I am happily married, but I am somehow always involved/in weddings and I have a inspirational wedding advice website, so I'm always exploring different areas.

My SIL is soon to marry and I know she is facing this issue. I just was looking for the best way to handle it.

I don't agree with B lists either. Its not a Hollywood event, it is a wedding. When you do your guest list you invite those whom you would like to share your day with. If people can't attend, then so be it.

I think having a contengency list is rude and in poor taste. Its like saying "you didn't make the first cut but since the real people we wanted to attend can't make our epic wedding, congrats! You're good enough!"

I am so glad to see brides saying they do not believe in a "b" list. I was feeling bad because I only had the one list.

Kasey C. - So if several of your guests can't make it then you are just going to have the empty chairs? We plan for events with numbers in mind. Most girls have more they would like to invite but simply can't afford it, does the same apply for them?

If I got an invite knowing I was an afterthought, I would decline it. If I'm not on the original list, then I don't want to be part of it. I'd rather not be invited then to be insulted.

I have a B list so I guess we're tacky. But we have a 160 guest wedding, but huge family list on both side. There are many other extended family I'd love to have as well as friends, but unfortunately, there is not the room. I have more than half of the guest from out of state so there's a pretty good chance many won't be able to make it, but I've let my friends know that I'm not the only one getting married and that our budget cannot handle everyone. We're trying to accommodate everyone, but I know I can't please everyone. I only sent the STD to my A-list group since most of them will have to take care of travel arrangements, but the rest of my friends and family who are local are just told that we haven't yet finalized our list.

We had a wedding of 60 guests due to budget constraints. We totally did a B list and I am super glad we did. It wasn't complicated at all.

We had 60 RSVP cards with a Sept 7 deadline and a 25 RSVP cards with a Sept 21 date (our final count was due the following mon 9/24 right before our wedding).

We had family that we had to invite from all around the country. Right away 10 people told us they couldn't come. We immediately sent invitations to our local friends (med school and H's work friends whom we adore but could not invite initially).

We ended up inviting all the people we wanted and nobody knew they were on the B list.

The final count at the wedding was 62 so I accidentally over invited but our venue could seat 75 so we had plenty of wiggle room.

I did not have a B list, nor did my daughter. I find B lists to be tacky.

If you cannot invite everyone, do not even think about a B list. If you can afford (lets just say) 100 but could put another 50 on the B list, don't. You can invite 100 and have 80 show up. That is perfectly fine.

I don't think it's tacky that a bride has to sometimes invite their family first. Not just that she has to keep the grooms family in mind too. She may barely even know them. So the "B" list doesn't mean you don't care for your other guests.

I don't understand what is tacky about this at all. You are simply keeping to budget and inviting people to fill the spots for those who can't make it.

If you can only invite 100 and 80 rsvp yes, there are 20 spots of people you love that you should invite.

The key is to stay organized. Send the first invitations of 100 or whatever your limit is about 10-8 weeks early. When you receive the no's, lets say 20 - you send 20 more invitations with still 4 weeks to go.

I think the B list makes perfect sense. The only way that I think it's "tacky" is if you invite people you don't really care about just to fill seats. But if you have extra people that you couldn't afford to invite...I say defintely invite those people if the space becomes available.

Future Mrs. S. and Happily engaged - You are both right! It's not tacky as long as you have good intentions. We all have friends that are close, but not super close or family,that we would love there and the "B" list can accommodate them.

I didn't have a b-list, but to full out call them tacky I think is a little uncalled for, b-list is usually people that you would love to have come but just don't have the budget for initially, so if someone on a-list says no, i would absolutely want to be able to invite someone else we care about to share our day with us, now that said, if your just doing it to fill the seat then it doesn't make sense.

We were originally going to have a B list but I was so uncomfortable with the idea that we just found a way to invite the people we really wanted there. Our original budget was 300 guests but we couldn't get past 350. Now, if people rsvp that they can't come it will save us some money but we won't have to try to fill their seat.

We have a B list, but for a different reason.. I have a huge family and there are some people that we just cannot invite right now.. but if we get enough "No" RSVP's then we are planning to extend our invites to the B list.. not to fill up the seats, but because we do not have the space to host them otherwise.. My mom wants to invite some of her co-workers, but they will be B list, because I don't even know them! Sure, she can invite them.. IF we get enough "No's" back..

I know plenty of people that have been invited to weddings as B list guests.. it's a little weird, yes, but I think most people understand.. I don't think it's tacky if it's done right

I don't like the sound of B lists...but I have limited space and budget and there are a few people who I would like to invite (cousins who have been relatively close, a close coworker), but I have others that are more of a MUST to have there (immediate family, best friends.) I plan on sending my actual invites out 2 weeks earlier than usual and if I get a few "no's" I will send invites to my B-list people (I cringe when I say that.)